Toy Review: The Satisfyer Pro 2

The moment I placed the Satisfyer Pro 2 on my clit was the moment that the contest was over. The Satisfyer Pro 2 officially beat my Womanizer & Womanizer W500.

This is because the moment the Satisfyer Pro 2 made contact with my clit I had what can only be described as an instant orgasm. And it didn’t feel forced. It didn’t feel obtrusive. It was everything I want from a normal orgasm and more. Prolonged, powerful, intense. Immediately I was lying on the bed, head fuzzy with the sensations, trying (and failing) to nod at Mr. Peaches as he said something to me (don’t ask me what he said; I was too busy having an orgasm that, apparently, lasted the full-length of a rather one-sided conversation).

The fact of the matter is the Satisfyer Pro 2 works and it works exceptionally. What’s more, with a retail tag of £69.99 the Satisfyer Pro 2 is also substantially cheaper than the Womanizer (£60 cheaper than the Womanizer at RRP and a massive £80 cheaper than the Womanizer W500 at RRP). What’s more the Satisfyer Pro 2 has more benefits than the Womanizer range and is just generally ahead of the curve.

I can’t believe I’m saying this but if you’re pining over a Womanizer then I would consider the Satisfyer Pro 2 to be the better option.

The Satisfyer Pro 2

My disbelief about the success of the Satisfyer Pro 2 doesn’t come from a place of ill-will. It’s much more because the Satisfyer Pro 2 seemed to come out of almost nowhere, suddenly usurping the current suction toy giants, Womanizer. However the Satisfyer Pro 2 is actually a product that was 18 months in the making and that hard work has definitely paid off.

Suction-based sex toys are rarely pretty but they always tend to deliver in terms of sensation.

If you think I’m being petty by constantly comparing the Satisfyer Pro 2 to the Womanizer then it’s worth noting that I’m mainly doing so because Satisfyer actually pride themselves on this achievement and actively promote the comparison. “In our eyes the Satisfyer Pro 2 is the better product, uses better technology and is available for a better price,”  Satisfyer Germany’s Jerome Bensimon told ETO Magazine, “In contrast to the Womanizer, the Satisfyer Pro 2 not only convinces with its waterproof design, but also through its quietness. No water, lubricant or other liquids can get into the interior of the product, which makes it 100 per cent hygienic and safe to use.”

Yes, you did read that right: In addition to being cheaper than the Womanizer range the Satisfyer Pro 2 is also completely waterproof, making it much easier to clean. Yes, I love my Womanizers but I do have to admit that I never enjoy the wipe-clean method of sex toy cleanliness. Being able to immerse a toy is just much more reassuring and the Satisfyer Pro 2 provides that sense of security. Plus it makes the Satisfyer Pro 2 a potential candidate for some bath time fun. Personally I’m not a fan of bath-based sexcapades but I imagine the suction effect of this toy is amplified when held under water too.

The surface of the Satisfyer Pro 2 is made from firm ABS plastic—making it non-porous, phthalate-free and completely body safe—and the nozzle for the Pro 2 is made from equally body safe silicone. This nozzle can detach, making it even easier to clean, and provides a nice, gentle surface for when this toy is placed around the clit.

This nozzle is more accommodating to re-positioning than some.

The conventional use of the Satisfyer Pro 2 (and similar suction-based toys) is to place it on your clit, keep it still, and enjoy the ride. However I personally found that the Satisfyer Pro 2 was just as effective when it was placed to the side of the clit or when I rubbed it gently up and down around my clit, so it’s nice to know that the Satisfyer Pro 2 provides options, especially considering the intensity of this toy.

When I reviewed the Womanizer I compared it to a UFO trying to use one of those abduction beams on my clitoris. It’s that gentle tug combined with an undulating quiver that makes the Womanizer so intense. The Satisfyer Pro 2 has a very similar sensation but, to my clit, the undulation felt stronger and the suction-effect slightly less harsh and chill-inducing. This means that the Satisfyer Pro 2 generally feels less abrasive when it does provide instant orgasms, because it somehow finds the balance between 0-to-HOLY SHIT and a gentle touch.

Make no mistake, though, the Satisfyer Pro 2 is strong and, with 11 different intensities, this toy has a power option for most people.

One of the most miraculous things about the Satisfyer Pro 2 for me was that once it had induced an orgasm in me it never really stopped. Sure, things mellowed down a bit, and I found myself in a state of regular, pleasing muscle contractions, but I never felt like my orgasm was going to stop unless I actually removed the Satisfyer Pro 2 from my clit. This may also be the biggest downside of the Satisfyer Pro 2 because once I start using it I never want to remove it.

Because the Satisfyer Pro 2 allows for some movement and alternate positioning, too, it’s actually suitable for a range of positions, and can be used with an internal toy too as its handle isn’t a hindrance. Speaking about the handle for a moment; it’s well-designed, fits wonderfully in my hand, and the buttons are intuitively positioned to allow users to easily ramp up the intensity. Two-buttons control the Satisfyer Pro 2 and I personally found them beautifully positioned. This doesn’t usually stand out to me much with sex toys so I commend the Satisfyer Pro 2 for actually making me sing its control-based praises.

This design is alright by me.

The Satisfyer Pro 2 is also USB rechargeable and a single 150 minute charge is supposed to get you 30 minutes playtime. Personally I’ve had mine last for much longer on one charge, but that could be because the Satisfyer Pro 2 is so intense that I typically use it on the lower settings. It’s that effective.

However the manner in which the Satisfyer Pro 2 brings about orgasm won’t be for everyone. If you’re someone who likes to gently build up to orgasms, in particular, I would dissuade you from the Satisfyer Pro 2. That is not how this toy rolls. I would typically say folks who dislike pin-point sensation should avoid this toy (because it is so direct) but I don’t like direct stimulation myself and yet my clit still goes ga-ga for the Satisfyer Pro 2, so I’ll leave that information with you.

My personal pet peeve with the Satisfyer Pro 2 is that once I’ve used it I can’t actually use any other vibrators. My clitoris refuses to adjust to the difference in sensation and essentially becomes numb to all other forms of stimulation, even my beloved Lelo Smart Wand Large. It’s infuriating. Still, this may just be my body which is why I call it a ‘pet peeve’ and usually if I switch over it’s just because I’m being greedy and want even more orgasms. Now for some objective downsides.

Another point that Satisfyer pride themselves on with the Satisfyer Pro 2 is that it’s quieter than the Womanizer range, however I’d still count the Satisfyer Pro 2 as a damned noisy toy. When I first turned it on I jumped because I wasn’t expecting it and, honestly, sometimes it still gets a jolt out of me. Yes, when placed on the clitoris it becomes very quiet, but up until that point the Satisfyer Pro 2 is loud. In terms of roommates and discretion people with thin walls may find the Satisfyer Pro 2 being detected by keen ears. From a distance it almost sounds like the pitter-patter of heavy rain to me, because of its fluttering quivers. But because the Satisfyer Pro 2 is so noisy I personally wouldn’t feel confident using it if having a whisper-quiet toy was my top priority.

One of the few flaws on an otherwise exceptional toy.

The magnetic charging cord for the Satisfyer Pro 2, while essential for its waterproof design, is also a bit flimsy in terms of staying in place and on a few occasions I’ve left it on charge only to find that I accidentally nudged the clip off-balance when I placed the toy down and so it was still dead. Vigilance can easily counter this, though, so it’s not a massive hindrance. In fact none of the Satisfyer Pro 2’s downsides can even compare to how exceptional this toy is during use. I’m wholeheartedly smitten by it.

Final Thoughts

The Satisfyer Pro 2 is, in my opinion, officially the best suction-based sex toy on the market and its sensations and value for money really do need to be felt to be truly appreciated.

When I use this toy my whole body sings, my vaginal muscles clench in celebration, my heart soars, and my brain fills with a thousand more orgasm euphemisms that are far too cliché to commit to this review.

Naturally because the Satisfyer Pro 2 is so unique in its sensations I do feel a bit awkward endorsing it so strongly but I will say this: If you’ve been interested in the Womanizer, crave rather than cringe at the idea of a near-instant orgasm, and don’t mind something that looks like the lovechild between the Eroscillator and an otoscope gently sucking on your clit while surrounding it with quivering sensations then the Satisfyer Pro 2 just might be for you.