Toy Review: The Self Delve Golden Corn

The world is full of wonderful and peculiar things. A corn on the cob dildo is just one such example, but it certainly falls under the ‘wonderful’ category, as my time with this dildo was undeniably pleasant.

Pleasant is perhaps too tame a word for such a textured dildo, yet it feels like the best one. The Self Delve Golden Corn is a dildo ripe with enjoyment. Its playful design and effective texture make it so that most people who like non-conventional dildos are going to enjoy this dildo.

However, the Golden Corn is not quite as all-up-in-your-G-Spot as the Bent Cucumber is. Despite its appearance the Golden Corn is a much less persistent sex toy. It knows how to get the job done but it’s a bit more casual about it. Strange, I know, but it’s certainly effective.

The Self Delve Golden Corn

The Self Delve Golden Corn is an aesthetically appealing toy but not in the conventional sense.

It’s not trying to be a non-conventional luxury toy based on the ergonomic forms of a cubist design. It’s not an eloquent pairing of material and form. Instead the Golden Corn plays on the age-old reference of vegetables and human desires with a little bit of humour and a mischievous appeal. It’s the type of toy that takes the horny supermarket shopper’s fleeting “What if?” and makes it into a kinky reality.

Put simply it’s just fun, and that is wholly appealing to me.

It may be corny but I love it.

The main difference between the Golden Corn and Self Delve’s Small Corn is that the Golden Corn does not change colour. If you do relish the idea of a colour changing toy then for €15 more you can get a cob that changes from golden yellow to bright yellow. However, if colour isn’t an issue for you then the Golden Corn is a nice alternative.

Unlike its supermarket alternative, the Golden Corn is made out of silicone. This makes it phthalate-free, non-porous and completely body-safe. The non-porous properties of silicone are especially useful when dealing with a toy that has so much texture, as it eliminates any major worries about bacteria. All you need to do is wash the Golden Corn thoroughly with a toy cleaner and some warm water and you’re good to go.

Self Delve typically offers three types of silicone harness and the Golden Corn comes in a medium harness. It’s enough that I can comfortably squish the Golden Corn’s surface and waggle its cobbed shaft around in the air but it doesn’t detract from the texture.

Speaking of texture, the Golden Corn is pretty much as textured as toys come. Although not incredibly raised, the Golden Corn’s enitre shaft is decorated with knobbly bits of corn which definitely adds a certain level of sensation during use. While people who prefer smooth toys may find themselves turned off by the Golden Corn, texture lovers and the texture curious will find a lot to appreciate here.

I would personally describe the Golden Corn’s texture as a middling texture during use. It’s certainly noticeable—and can be made even more prominent depending on how you use it—but it is in no sense overwhelming. Unlike something like The Hammer, where I could feel every stitch, the texture of the Golden Corn comes together creating more of a collective sense of texture rather than an overwhelming flurry of sensations. This works to the Golden Corn’s favour, as I can only imagine how my poor vagina would react if it could feel the minute details of every single corn.

The Golden Corn is very forgiving in size.

The Golden Corn’s dimensions also help make this dildo a rather accessible plaything. With an overall length of 8.5 inches the Golden Corn has a lot of length to work with but also allows you to use as much as you’re comfortable with.

The starting circumference for the Golden Corn is also very forgiving—being only 2.75 inches—before expanding out to a middling circumference of 4.75 and a base circumference of 5.1 inches. Needless to say, then, the Golden Corn never becomes too filling for most users. If you are craving girth, though, I recommend the Self Delve Corn which has a maximum circumference of just over 6 inches instead.

During use the Golden Corn turned out to be surprisingly effective. I say surprisingly because the tip is quite small and I wasn’t sure how my G-Spot would react to that. Thankfully the Golden Corn has the perfect amount of texture to compensate for its smaller, straighter shape while still providing exceptional orgasms.

Admittedly they weren’t OMFG mind-blowing but there were consistently enjoyable, prolonged and well worth the price of the toy.

I also really valued the flexibility of the Golden Corn too. Because it is made with medium firmness silicone you can wiggle and position in into various angles inside your body, allowing it to stimulate the area that you’re most interested in. This flexibility really did make all the difference. I don’t know how well a firm Golden Corn would have fared in comparison.

The texture on this toy is very appealing to me.

Thrusting with the Golden Corn was one of the more interesting aspects of it. Again, because the Golden Corn is made out of medium firmness silicone it is neither too soft nor too hard for thrusting. Rather it becomes the perfect piece of veg for vaginal thrusting.

The sensation that thrusting the Golden Corn evoked in me were almost identical to that of finally scratching a particularly itchy patch of skin. It was a euphoric release of “ah that’s the spot” combined with the satisfaction of being a bit rough to the area.

I guess another way to put it is that the Golden Corn can feel scratchy while thrusting, but it’s a fulfilling scratch rather than an unwanted one. At least that was my experience with it. Maybe it’s time to admit that I’ve become a bit of a texture whore.

So, are there any major downsides to the Golden Corn? Well, no…not really.

Much like The Hammer this is a personal preference toy through-and-through. If you dislike textured, straight, slowly tapered toys then the Golden Corn probably isn’t your cup of tea. However, none of this is a fault with the toy, which has achieved exactly what it aimed to do.

I was expecting the Golden Corn to be hard to clean but, surprisingly, it’s pretty damned easy. This means my one potential flaw with the Golden Corn was pretty much discredited. Well played Self Delve, well played.

Final Thoughts

Overall I really enjoyed the Golden Corn and think it should be your number one choice if you’ve ever wanted to fuck a cob of corn. People who like girth may prefer the Self Delve Corn instead but, personally, I feel like the Golden Corn is probably more accessible to people.

This toy is a textured hunk of silicone silliness and I love every inch of it. The sensations it provides are unique, the design inspired, and the material it’s made of body-safe. What more could you possibly want?

Recommend to:

People who want a corn on the cob dildo.

People who like quirky sex toys.

People who love texture.

Do Not Recommend to:

People who want a larger toy (see the Corn).

People who dislike straight toys.

People who dislike textured toys.