There’s nothing quite like having your very own custom-made wooden dildo. Nowadays there are quite a few companies that make these wooden masterpieces, and some are exceptional, however there have also been a fair few duds on the market.
A wooden sex toy, if carved, sanded, and sealed/varnished appropriately will never cause splinters, never feel rough, and should never be bad for your body. However as some people jump of the hype train some crafters have cut corners in order to try and sell their wares. This is why when people who truly care about the quality of their wooden wares come along they can’t be valued enough.
ShouldaWooda is one such person.
About ShouldaWooda (or Lumberjill’s Leisurecrafts)
ShouldaWooda and LumberJill’s LeisureCrafts are both owned by Richard Carver. Richard started out as a 2D artist but felt dissatisfied by the lack of engagement that was inherent in the medium. Ultimately he wanted to make works that people could hold, experience, connect with; a practical piece of art that could be enjoyed in a more intimate manner.
Eventually Richard found his perfect material and subject matter in wooden sex toys. Why sex toys? Well because, in Richards terms, he wanted to ‘make the personal massager personal again’, plus it’s fun.
All of Richard’s items are hand crafted with the utmost care. Each item it done completely freehand, meaning that the product you receive is truly an individual work of art. Richard sands his product with vigour (so no splinters or rough surfaces to worry about) and finishes them off with a durable, non-toxic finish which makes his dildos non-porous and capable of lasting a very long time with the proper care.
Communicating with Richard was a breeze and he was always willing to listen to my suggestions and try to cater to my needs. When my item arrived it was safely packed and ready to use. Unfortunately I did get customs on my product, but this is expected when an item comes from the US to the UK, so buyers outside of the US should be make sure to consider local customs & VAT regulations.
The ShouldaWooda Creation
I spoke with Richard in depth about what I wanted from a dildo and he drafted up a design drawing for me that we mutually agreed upon. This service can be requested by anyone and Richard is very receptive to working to people’s personal specifications. As it turned out I was pretty hopeless at actually knowing what I wanted so Richard’s expertise was invaluable.
Richard was also kind enough to share some of the process that went behind making my dildo, which I was very grateful for. My dildo originally started as a humble chunk of wood (most likely ash) before Richard took a tomahawk to it to hack away any excess space and start working out the shape of the dildo. Once the shape is roughed out Richard moves on to a handmade ulu knife to start carving out more of the details. It is at this point that Richard solidifies the primary elements of the design.
Once that is decided Richard moves on to a belt sander and a rotary tool with a sanding drum to add further definition and get the smooth surface he needs. Further sanding is then done by hand to make sure everything is perfect or use. I’ve spoken to a few wood workers by this point in my life and Richard, like the others, agreed that sanding is the most tedious part of making a wooden product. I commend anyone who has the patience to do it.
From there all my lovely dildo needed was its non-toxic finish applied before it was complete. So, how did it turn out? Well, see for yourself:
It’s amazing to think that this stunning creation started as a rather standard looking hunk of wood but there it is and it’s perfect. Everything about my ShouldWooda Creation looks amazing. Richard really knows how to make the wood he works with stand out, as the wood’s natural grain looks amazing running throughout the toy’s shape. I honestly couldn’t have hoped for a better product aesthetically. But how about performance?
Well, as you can see, my ShouldaWooda Creation has two different sides to it—one a more typical ‘head’ that is abstractly similar to the head of a penis, the other a large bulb. On the shaft of my dildo were well-defined ripples too, for added appeal and stimulation.
Although you can talk to Richard about custom dimensions, my dildo measured about 7 inches in length while the shaft had a maximum circumference of 4.5 inches, the semi-realistic head a max of 5.75, and the bulb a max of just over 6 inches. This gave my creation a kind of short & stout appeal.
Because I’m a big fan of coronal ridges I was eager to try the semi-realistic head first. My dildo was very easy to insert and had a natural warmth to it, which was really nice during use. This side felt very pleasant against my G-spot and provided a fair amount of pressure. Because the shaft of my dildo is quite short (about 3 inches) it felt like my dildo kind of locked into place during use, adding a nice secure sensation. Unfortunately I couldn’t feel the rims on the shaft, which was a bit of a downer.
However my orgasms with this side were consistently enjoyable and quite prolonged. While wood is quite a firm material it doesn’t feel as solid as stone or metal, so I was able to contract around the wood comfortably without it ever feeling overwhelming.
I have to admit, I struggled with the bulbous side. Because this side wasn’t tapered it was really difficult to have my vagina take it, no matter how much I persevered. I’m certainly not a size queen and the bulb, while not objectively huge, felt like Everest at times.
Because of this inserting and removing this side, while do-able, was a bit too much for me and did cause discomfort. However once it was in I was in heaven! I didn’t quite know what to expect from the bulbous side but what I ended up getting was concentrated, intense G-spot stimulation which had me on the brink or an orgasm from the first moment it made contact. Orgasms with this end were absolutely amazing. The bulbous shape knows just how to apply pressure on the G-spot and leaves you in no doubt of its presence. That being said I just wish it was slightly smaller so that I didn’t feel pain when inserting and removing it. Size queens should have no issue reaping the benefits of this toy, though.
So, aside from my own personal limits, was there anything objectively bad with this dildo? Well no, not really.
This dildo is easy to use, easy to wash, and works well with most lubricants. The worst thing I can say about it is that the ridges on the shaft didn’t provide any stimulation, but the main focus of this toy is its dual-heads anyway and it certainly succeeds with making those enjoyable.
Overall I am incredibly happy with my ShouldaWooda Creation and I recommend Richard’s services to anyone looking for a custom-made wooden dildo. Whether you chose to go for the same design as me, something smoother, something with more texture, or even just a good ol’ fashioned chunky cock you can be sure Richard has something for you.
People who value bespoke services.
People who like wooden dildos.
People who value fine craftsmanship.
Do Not Recommend to:
People who prefer standardized products.
People who dislike wooden dildos.
People who cannot afford customs charges (only for outside of US).