Do you remember that one time at band camp when your vag got palmed like a footfall and you soaked the cheap sleeping bag your mom sent? That was just me then, huh?
Well, we’ve all had amazing orgasms by now so you understand what I mean.
And for those who haven’t had their eyeballs try to shoot out the back of their head during sex, the world has opened its arms and mind to the concept of customized self-pleasure in the form of specialty pleasure products.
Case in point: the Lovense Quake.
What Is the Lovense Quake?
The Lovense brand is known for inventing the world’s very first automatic penis stroking machine.
So, it comes as no surprise that their Quake for women is just as revolutionary and bad ass. With the human body remaining relatively static for the last few million years, our sex toy designs can’t really be too diverse.
That means you’ll see a lot of devices that look and act just like this one. The difference is that the Lovense Quake moves and grooves like nothing else.
Unlike other U-shaped female vibrators, this one bends to an almost 180-degree angle, becoming a virtual dildo while still offering dual stimulation through two individually functioning motors.
If you’re like me and have a filthy mind, thoughts of double penetration immediately flooded your imagination when I said that. If not, you can at least get excited about the fact that it’s flexible enough to find your g-spot and/or p-spot without a lot of fishing.
How Does Lovense Quake Work?
This device is extremely simple to operate, especially in a world full of complex, high-tech gadgets that piss you off before getting you off. It turns on with the press of a button and begins vibrating at various speeds and intensity levels depending on which setting you choose.
The power range is relatively impressive for such a small contraption, plus the vibes are spread out evenly between the two prongs to deliver uniform pleasure no matter where you put it.
As a toy made exclusively for women, there’s really no reason why a man can’t use it too. Ideal for vaginal and/or anal stimulation, the intuitive design makes it easy to customize each experience in countless ways.
Meanwhile, the main selling point of the Lovense Quake is its flexibility. It’s able to pinpoint hard-to-reach places inside tight body cavities and then extend or retract based on how you bend it.
Yeah, I thought it sounded pretty cool too.
Everything is operated by either the built-in control panel on the device itself or through a free, downloadable smart phone app. The built-ins let you choose between a pre-set variety of sensations, while the app allows you to tailor your experience with miniscule detail.
Plus, you can program up to 10 of your favorite settings through the app, which allows for seamless play later on whether you’re alone or with a friend.
Keep in mind that the point of this toy is to stimulate the clitoris and g-spot simultaneously.
So, while you can use each of the two motors together or independently, the sensations are almost always more intense when you pair the vibes. More on that later…
Lovense Quake Review: The Main Features
The Quake by Lovense is one of the brand’s latest inventions, and it doesn’t disappoint in the personalization category one bit. It features a new generation antenna that provides an extended range for in-person play and app-controlled sex.
The device also uses an enhanced Bluetooth chip to support long-distance pleasure without pesky technology hiccups. If you’ve never had to deal with a disconnection in the middle of an orgasm, now’s not the time to start.
This simplified yet sophisticated sex toy is draped in silky-smooth silicone, which means it’s safe for all skin types even if you have a nasty allergy to certain materials. It also features a small control pad on one of the prongs to help you tailor the sensations as they’re happening.
However, it’s definitely not the cleverest button placement I’ve ever seen.
Thus, the wide range of settings that comes from each press is a major redeeming factor in this equation.
As an apparent insult to the knock-offs and wannabes, the Quake vibrator also features a series of cunning ridges along the ends of each prong for added pleasure. The same design concept encompasses the center of the bendy shaft for a better grip.
Altogether, it’s a straightforward pleasure product for women, men, individuals, and couples, with few extra purchases required and low maintenance to boot.
Quickly cleaned with a waterproof casing and powered by a magnetic USB rechargeable battery, this thing could easily become the new standard for streamlined self-pleasure.
NOTE: You’ll need a Lovense USB Bluetooth Adapter to use the Quake on Windows™ PC.
How It Feels
Like I said, playing with the Lovense Quake feels like having a thick, soft set of enthusiastic fingers grip your vagina like a kinky claw machine.
You can try to get away if you don’t want to have an orgasm, but it would be a lot cooler if you did. And since this thing does the whole “clit plus pussy punch” with the touch of a button, your chances of having your first, only, or next full-bodied climax is just a moment away.
That’s how it was for me at least.
In fact, I started feeling tingles in my fingertips and toes at one point. The pleasure was so strong that it made my back hurt and gave me a headache afterward from all the panting, wailing, and sheer disbelief.
It took lots of breathing and focus not to squirt all over my bed within just a few minutes, thereby ruining my streak of stamina once and for all.
I’m not proud to say that I’ve only ever made it about 6 minutes with this thing, and that’s counting all the times I masturbated by myself using only the pre-programmed settings.
I couldn’t really feel the little ridges on the prongs unless I was inserting an end or taking it out.
However, having used toys like this many times before, I could tell an immediate difference in how the vibrational waves bounced off the ridges to ripple through my body like a pebble on a lake.
And any spot that couldn’t be found with other devices was ultimately discovered and exploited as I quickly recalibrated the shape throughout each session.
With both my g-spot and clitoris getting some attention at the same time, I (or my partner) could focus on sending signals of pleasure to other parts of our body.
The fact that I could penetrate my pussy and massage my clit with the Lovense Quake while also taking a dick or getting something shoved up my ass was a real delight.
It ended up being an incredibly versatile product that satisfied the basics while going the extra mile in the depth department.
Contrary to popular belief, it wasn’t all rainbows and butterflies at first. There’s a slight learning curve, so be prepared for a somewhat disappointing launch if you don’t follow directions well.
The design is simple and the tech is great but coordinating the buttons and the app and your desires and the battery life may be somewhat of a challenge.
I suggest fully charging the device before you even think about playing with it. And read the owner’s manual for specific operation instructions to prevent blue balls.
I also had a problem with the buttons being placed on one of the potentially insertable ends of the toy. I feel like it would have been better on the bendable middle portion that’s unlikely to penetrate your body.
That means my double penetration fantasy may need some tweaking – and that’s not the only qualm I had. In fact, I have a whole list of pros and cons to mention before I give my final verdict. So, check this out.
The Pros & Cons
I want to preface this by saying that I know nothing on today’s market is perfect. I also know that there are many different types of people, with unique ideas of pleasure and exclusive needs.
With that said, these are the things I think everyone would either get pissed off about or celebrate regardless of who they are or what they want:
- You can bend it to enjoy an anal/clit combo instead of vaginal penetration only.
- The flexible size makes it ideal for multiple users during orgies and threesomes.
- The compatible app is easy to use and lets you pick up where you left off.
BONUS: You also get automatic updates from the server when they’re needed.
- It has an impressive battery life for such a powerful, multifunctional tool.
- The fully submersible design means sexier water sports anywhere.
- With cleverly rounded tips, insertion and removal are comfy and climax-building.
- Since it comes with a compatible app, the built-in buttons aren’t always necessary.
- The motor could be a little quieter, but the noise softens up a bit under water.
- It lacks a key interactivity feature that’s essential to many long-distance couples.
- The size may not be ideal for all body types or experience levels.
- It’s somewhat difficult to adjust the angle of the device once it’s inside your body.
- That horrible button placement will probably haunt my nightmares.
I wasn’t expecting the Lovense Quake Bluetooth vibrator to be flawless, but I didn’t expect such a lopsided evaluation either. Most of the time, my opinion comes out about 50/50 in favor of something else.
However, this device surprised me in many ways, including showing me how quickly I could cum as a seasoned mattress veteran.
So, I call mine “Madonna” because it makes me feel like a virgin.
UPDATE: My partner and I now call her “La Diablo” because her deeds are so damned devilish.
Since few of us are sex toy experts, and because most owner’s manuals don’t talk about these things, I think it’s important to go over some special considerations before I set you loose with your new Lovense Quake.
So, here are 6 things I think you should know:
- Cleaning this things is exceptionally easy thanks to the non-porous silicone covering. Just wash it off with clean water and a non-abrasive, hypoallergenic cleaning solution. If you use it anally, clean it off with an antibacterial soap before inserting it vaginally or placing it back in storage.
- The slick materials are easy to clean but that doesn’t mean they won’t attract dust, lint, and environmental debris. So, I highly recommend washing the surface before and after each use.
- Storage is a snap too, although you don’t get anything in the box to keep yours safe and the manufacturer hasn’t come out with a container for it yet. Either way, you can keep yours in a bedside drawer, a closet, a medicine cabinet, or between your mattresses because its durable, compact, and discreet.
- The magnetic charger is supposed to make rejuvenation effortless for both you and the device. Still, it’s not always a solid connection so make sure you check that or else your toy won’t fully charge. Moreover, the connector can slip off rather easily if you move it around too much. So, hook it up and then set it aside until the battery is done doing its thing.
- Since this toy is made out of high-grade silicone, I suggest using an equally awesome lube that’s made from a gentle, water-based formula. Oil-based lubes can become too messy and are hard to wash off, while silicone lubes can damage your silicone toys’ materials. Choose wisely.
- One final note: The app compatibility relies on your smart device’s operating system and processing quality, as well as on your internet and/or mobile data connection. That means you can’t always blame a bad time on your toy.
Where To Buy Lovense Quake Online?
LOVENSE OFFICIAL WEBSITE – Best price and fastest delivery on the internet.
The Final Verdict
2002 – That was the year I had my very first squirting episode, at which time I promptly apologized to my partner not knowing that I had just crushed some secret sex goal. 227 – That’s about how many times I’ve done it since then, all without an apology. 46 – The number of sex toys in my current collection competing with the Lovense Quake for my pussy’s attention. 8 – That’s what I would give the LQ on a scale of 1 to 10.
It’s by far not a perfect product, but we’d have nothing to hope for in the future if it were.
I’m impressed by the conservative power and versatility of this toy, but it could use some help in the noise department, wouldn’t piss anyone off with a better charging design, and may be better for long-distance couples with a few more interactive features like pairing it with the lush 3 vibrator.
My mind automatically goes to motion sensors and VR-compatible XXX content that both partners can tap into. But that’s just a fantasy for now.