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Review: The Uberrime Night King Silicone Dildo

I’m am increasingly convinced that Uberrime is a company of impressive calibre and range. Granted, most of that range is within the fields of size, length, and texture, but this just serves to make them the ideal company for anyone who values such things.

People such as me.

I value such things.

I also value good design, and the design elements and quality of Uberrime’s products is pretty exceptional.

These are products with marbles flare and spiralling, ornate variations, each of which is unique to the single hand-made, hand-poured material that Uberrime use with each creation.

It’s nice to be fucked by a toy so incredibly considerate in every regard.

…Well, in every regard except for its stinging, primal richness.

Uberrime Night King Silicone Dildo

The Uberrime Night King is the dark embodiment of Uberrime’s brilliance. It is texture, length, and girth combined to create something that might be attached to a creature whom dabbles in dark arts and penetrates its partners with devilish delight.

Photos don’t do this toy justice.

That might all sound dreadfully poetic but that’s a sheer virtue of this toy – its name and design prompt a certain amount of gravitas which is further reinforced by how it feels once inserted.

This is a toy of many depths, in more ways than one.

Specifically, the Night King measures in at a maximum diameter of 1.7 with a total length of 9 inches and a useable length of 8 inches.

That’s pretty impressive for a sex toy, especially as most average starter girths come in at 1.5 inches in diameter and about 6-7 inches in length.

Size isn’t everything but it does factor in to how one handles a toy logistically. Because of this toy’s length it can be a bit cumbersome to navigate at first and, although it is harness compatible, it does look a bit gangly when erected in a harness. These aren’t necessarily relevant when using the toy itself but do go along way when it comes to getting this toy to the point of use, so I do thing it’s a point worth mentioning.

Perhaps more relevant, though, is the shape and texture of this toy.

A very prominent bulge of a head sharply rolls down to a defined coronal ridge before presenting a lengthy shaft decorated with bulging vein-like shapes which dance around the shaft near-recklessly.

This toy has a lot of large texture to handle.

I say ‘near’ because, once using the Night King, it is clear that there was intent in the positioning of this toy’s veins, that being to make themselves known with every single inserting nudge, thrust, or wiggle, and to act as a stretching and ever-present massaging presence on the internal walls and opening of a person’s body.

The Night King, royal in every regard, declares itself grandly. Yet, in doing so, it is the user that gets the royal treatment.

The silicone used for the Night King isn’t technically matte nor glossy but, rather, an intermediary type of grabbing silicone. It smooths up gloriously with lubricant and has just enough give in its surface to facilitate ease of insertion even with its additional size. Yet, the texture keeps the body stretched, despite the toy not breaking in to the 2 inch diameter girth that Size Queens tend to seek as the initial goal for stretching.

Silicone also means that this toy is non-porous, phthalate-free, and completely body safe. And, as said before, a flared base makes this toy harness compatible as well as anal friendly.

Anal users who attempt to use the Night King should consider themselves to be experienced in some regard, and it is very advisable to warm up to this toy. This goes for those new to extreme texture and/or girth too, as I can assure you that this toy provides both in a very effective manner.

The upward arching of the Night King means that it is also very adept at identifying and hitting the G-spot or P-Spot, but why stop there? If you’re a vagina-owning user who is interested in exploring the spots deeper in their body (or an intense cervical banging) then the Night King has length and firmness enough to allow for a large amount of its length to be explored. In this, again, the Night King is effective, and the texture that its shaft provides never lets up or becomes complacent near the end.

Texture from its head to its base.

The fact that this toy is made of silicone means that it is incredibly easy to clean, which is a god send because otherwise its textured form would probably be a nuisance (besides, all toys should be non-porous if safety is of value). Simply scrub this toy thoroughly with antibacterial toy cleaner or soap and it should scrub up squeaky clean. Silicone can also be boiled, bleached, or thrown in the dishwasher. Arguably, though, the bleach-based approach to cleaning isn’t the most eco (or body) friendly, so do keep that in mind when considering your toy care options.

When using the Night King I found myself reeling in happy delight at its stinging and biting engagement with my body. This toy widened me and stimulated me simply from being inside my body and moving it around simply facilitated more squirming glee in my body.

Orgasms with the Night King were extremely intense and quite respectably prolonged. Not the longest of my orgasms (nor necessarily of the Uberrime line) but so complex in their broad and bulging nature that I found the length of the orgasms to be just right for the experiences that they provided.

Complexity is a theme followed through by this toy’s beautiful silicone colouration too. Some would argue this is superficial but I think it can arguably make or break a toy’s success.

I doubt that original Rampant Rabbits would have been as successful if they were coloured vomit beige with fleks of excrement brown and toxic green, for example.

Just sayin’

The amazing marbled swirls of the Night King, therefore, add something to this toy and I am forever surprised at the fact that I see some new aspect or visual element of this toy with each use.

I think I could examine it for years and still not know every pattern and swirl with true acquaintance and I like that.

What I don’t like, on the other hand, is how easily this toy gathers dust, not how it might be slightly too long, too thick, or too heavy for some others.

Sure, the size of this toy is an asset, but its also an element that will discredit this product for some and that really is a crying shame.

Final Thoughts

Overall, the Uberrime Night King is a fantastic product, well worth its price tag and forever giving its user a new type of experience.

Granted, not everyone will appreciate the experience, and those that love a slimmer, straighter, or smoother shaft will likely find themselves shying away from the Night King.

Still, I can’t help but think that even those who cannot use this dildo would still pine over it longingly, because this truly is a toy to try.