Review: The Uberrime Essential Gentleman Handmade Silicone Dildo

It’s a funny thing sex toy testing.

Sometimes you look at a product and you’re just completely unsure of how it will perform.

Oh, sure, with experience comes a certain amount of reasonable guesstimation, but I am never truly acquainted with a product until the testing happens.

I am also a bit blinkered in my own attitude and approach to toys.

So, when I laid eyes on the Uberrime Essential Gentleman Handmade Silicone Dildo – uncertain yet hopeful – my mind went to a few thoughts.

The first thought focused on the promising coronal ridge and tempting curve, oh so well made for G and P-spot stimulation.

The second looked at its flared base and nodded in approval.

And the third admired it’s unconventional yet no less aesthetically exquisite flared marble effect.

Then I showed the toy to a running friend, who had only the following to say:

Looks like a snake digesting and onion ring.

…Maybe I’m out of touch.

The Uberrime Essential Gentleman Handmade Silicone Dildo

Out of touch I may potentially be, but my intuition when it comes to sex toys is still very much on point, as is the Uberrime Essential Gentleman Handmade Silicone Dildo.

This toy is not messing about.

This dildo may have a relatively simple design but simple does not equate to lack of performance. Quite the opposite, in fact.

Measuring in at 6 inches, with a useable length of 5.5 inches and a maximum diameter of 1.6 inches (average 1.5) the Uberrime Essential Gentleman could be considered as one of the more accessible of the generally chunky Uberrime line.

Don’t get me wrong – I love a chunky cock from time to time – but the new customer to adult products might be intimidated or otherwise inexperienced with chunkier toys and the approach they might need.

Larger toys, for example, tend to need more lubricant, especially if they are made of a grabbier and more hefty silicone, as this Gent is. They might also need a warm-up of sorts and any texture or shape variation they have is instantly felt with more clarity.

The Uberrime Essential Gentleman still feels large in many ways but it manages to do so while also providing measurements that most average users will be able to take with relative ease (and a large degree of enjoyment).

Despite being an accomodating size this toy still feels on the larger end due to its design.

Leveraging the Uberrime Essential Gentleman is incredibly easy due to its nicely wide flared base. This base provides ample grip while also working as an effective anal safety tool. It also means that this Gent is 100% harness compatible. I can only imagine the delicious delight of trying to get a harness to match the regal colouration of this particular dildo. Deep purple mixed with shimmering gold?

If a Royal family member somewhere in this wide world doesn’t own a Uberrime Essential Gentleman then it is a great injustice to the Sex Toy Gods.

This isn’t just because.of the cpliuc, mind you, but also due to the near-divine climaxes that this toy can provide.

The rather bulging head of the Uberrime Essential Gentleman is a bit of a blunt section to insert and, upon first use, I wasn’t too sure if this would make insertion one of my least parts of using the toy or not.

However, when this toys mighty head manages to slip in it does so with a rolling scoop of a sensation that makes the body almost hiccup with an involuntary rush of delight.

This is then swifty followed by the toys *ahem* ‘onion ring’ section which serves much like the jolting shock of driving over a road bump that was larger and more daring than anticipated. Except, y’know, in a sexy way.

This head works wonders but the ring does so even moreso.

The whole sensation is best described as rippling and, all in all, means that having this toy in a position of penetration and thrusting is often a highly memorable experience.

Perhaps my favourite thing to do, though, is to keep this toys ring-like section inserted but only just on the precipice of my vaginal opening. This allows for it to teeter on the point of widening and exciting my edge point without ever releasing the ever-useful sensation of tingling bliss.

The bulge of this toy accurately and precisely hits the G-spot whereas the smooth nature of the rest of it allows these two features to really shine through. It’s all, to borrow from this toy’s colouration, golden.

Still, when I first climaxed with the Gent I really didn’t know exactly how good it would be.

Then I came.

A deep, moaning hum of approval escaped my body followed by strong inhales and exhales through the nose – the kind only provoked by a sex toy of true climactic prowess.

At a certain point I found myself thinking ‘Oh yes, that will do biceln’ only to then realize that I was still climaxing.

Surprised but still satisfied I permitted myself to ride the prolonged clenches that this toy provoked to their eventual conclusion. And… well…let’s just say that if this toy were a book it’s ending would be considered ‘bulky’.

It’s been a while since a toy has managed to take me through such a long, intricate, and gratifying climax at length, yet the Uberrime Essential Gentleman made it seem like it was effortless.

This has continued to be my experience with this toy and is why I now consider the Uberrime Essential Gentleman to be a true Gent in every manner of the word.

Because this toy is silicone it will be non-porous, phthalate-free and completely body safe. However it is with the material that this toy gets its only real objective con. It is, by silicone standards, a grabby dust magnet and will thus requirw a diligent clean before and after each use.

…That’s literally the biggest downside of this toy.

In terms of more subjective ones the Uberrime Essential Gentleman may be too abstract for some people’s liking, especially for harnessed use for those who want a representative dildo.

Anal newbies would likely also struggle with the Uberrime Essential Gentleman’s larger proportions, so this is definitely one to warm up to.

If someone struggles with mobility or fatigue holding heavier toys then this dildo might also prove to be a tad more challenging, and the same would go for those who are mostly accustomed to toys that taper in gently to their girth. This toy goes big and bulging fom the get go.

Final Thoughts

All of these downsides pale, however, in comparison to the excellent performance of the Uberrime Essential Gentleman and the prolonged climaxes that it seems poised to promote.

Add to this the fact that this toy is made by a small, artisan company and is literally one of a kind every time and the toys value seems to be even more impressive.

I would highly rate the Uberrime Essential Gentleman for users wanting to experiment with a little chunk, a little shape variation, and a lot of climax potential and this toy gets my wholehearted endorsement.