Toy Review: The Hot Octopuss Pocket Pulse (With Remote)

Right from the start of this review I should let you know that I have not had the best of experiences with Hot Octopuss products.

My now ex never used to be able to get along with the idea of the oscillating pulsations that come with the Hot Octopuss ‘Guybrator’ range (and that are, still to this date, pretty unique among the adult product market when it comes to penis products). This meant that, even though we both considered the Hot Octopuss toys functional and effective at their job, we just couldn’t bring ourselves to give a confident personal recommendation.

I did, however, liken the original Hot Octopuss to something made by H. R. Geiger (xenomorphs to be precise) and that has always left me feeling affectionate about the Hot Octopuss range. I guess that is doubly true now that we know (spoilers ahead!) that David had a strong hand in the creation of the xenomorphs in canon. Because who doesn’t have the hots for Michael Fassbender? Anyway, I’m off topic.

The Queen Bee was also a bit of a miss in my books and so, ever hopeful but increasingly worried, I agreed to try the Hot Octopuss Pocket Pulse with tentative hope that this might finally be the guybrator for me. After all, my testers for penis products have now changed and, as such, Pulse products finally have a chance to show me (and my new testers) exactly what they’ve got.

Time to report back with the results.

The Hot Octopuss Pocket Pulse (With Remote)

The Hot Octopuss Pocket Pulse (With Remote) is an exciting new addition to the Pulse range. The first attempt at creating a compact version of the Pulse III (which is highly reviewed by a Shevibe expert, I have to add).

Although not common for me, the first thing I want to address with the Pocket Pulse is the advertising campaign used for it. A silver fox and the most adorable guy in thick rimmed glasses I’ve ever seen (with killer tats to boot)? Yes please! Outside of the ‘guybrator’ tagline, Hot Octopuss have also gone for a very gender-neutral approach to their product decription – calling this toy a ‘next-generation stroker’ and addressing anatomy rather than assuming gender. I really like this and applaud Hot Octopuss for taking this approach.

Uhm, yes please.

I wish the box for the product was as inclusive. As it stands, it opts to describe the Pocket Pulse as a product to ‘adequately stimulate a man’ where conventional vibrations might fail to do so. Gender assumptions and trying to stand out by bashing other forms of stimulation? Not necessarily something I’m fully comfortable with, but we can’t always be winners all the time.

The Pocket Pulse itself is nicely compact compared to the Pulse III, though still rather large if you’re usual go-to cock toy is a cock ring or a Tenga Egg. Think of it as considerably smaller than a Fleshlight, and not at tall as a masturbation sleeve. The toy itself comes in about about 3.5 inches in height with a width of about 2.5 inches and a reasonable partly-open ring into which you can insert your penis for use.

The Pocket Pulse in hand.

The ring itself is semi-flexible, allowing users to pull it back and get themselves comfortably ready for use, and the material for the Pocket Pulse is a soft, matte silicone on the inner section (and ring) coupled with a firm and chunky ABS plastic main section. This main section doesn’t come in to contact with the shaft but partners can put their genitals against it to share the sensations felt from the Pocket Pulse. I’ve tried rubbing and grinding against the Pocket Pulse myself and, I have to admit, I’m quite the fan, but more on that later.

The silicone and ABS plastic used for the Pocket Pulse makes it non-porous, phthalate-free and completely body-safe, but (as with many matte silicone surfaces) it is an absolute dust and hair magnet, which does add to cleaning time.

Thankfully the Pocket Pulse is completely waterproof which made me literally cheer when I discovered this about it. I remember well my time with the very first Pulse toy, which was no waterproof – how it was one of the few toys I still had to cautiously and meticulously wipe clean with a washcloth, never quite feeling I was doing a good enough job. But no more. Pulse can oscillate with the times, and I’m so glad of this.

I’m elated that this toy is now easier to just rinse and scrub clean.

Speaking of oscillations, though, the Pocket Pulse toys are the first of the Pulse range to not utilize an oscillating plate in order to achieve their goal. Given the compact size of the Pocket Pulse, it just wasn’t possible for Hot Octopuss to include this tech while still feeling confident in the product’s strength and performance (the priority, really).

Instead, the Pocket Pulse utilizes two vibrating motors which, although they don’t oscillate, do have a nicely strong resonating effect as they reverberate off of each other. These motors are more buzz than rumble but they have that smooth depth that I’ve come to see more and more from toys on the buzzy side of the spectrum. There was once a time when ‘buzz’ would have been an immediate deterrent for most people – used practically as an insult. But things have changed in recent years and the once maligned buzzing sensation has now found a way to compete with its rumbly contender in terms of just how much oomph and depth it can bring to the user. In short, I’m a fan of what Hot Octopuss have done here.

Having said that, the vibrations from the Hot Octopuss are strong, even on some of the gentler settings and especially for penis-owners who are not used to having a vibrating pad directly touching against the most sensitive areas of their head and glans.

Same pad, different pulse.

One of my potential testers literally looked at the Pocket Pulse, felt what it could do and said ‘I think I’ve got enough toys to play with, thank you’ – a polite way of saying ‘No fucking chance’ which I admire.

I think, for him, the deterrent was the shape and weight of the Pocket Pulse.This toy might be compact compared to fully fledged Pulse products, but it’s still no discretionary addition to one’s shaft, and this would be even more apparent during flaccid use (because, yes, this toy can be used either flaccid or firm, and might even help with erectile dysfunction in some users).

My other anonymous tester, on the other hand, was very eager to give the Pocket Pulse a try, and gave it a thorough testing under the sheets.

The verdict? A ringing endorsement!

Although, yes, the Pocket Pulse was deemed mightily cumbersome (and required a few adjustments at time to keep the fit comfortable) the sensations that it provide far outweighed any inconvenience. My tester agreed with my appraisal that the vibrations were intense, but they took pleasure in experiencing them, and finding new ways to discover their body. The climaxes were strong and sensitive, although shorter-lived than they expected. This didn’t change the degree of pleasure they experienced but it was surprising for them, as usually they get a longer ride from the point of coming. What they did find, on the other hand, was that the point building up to climax increased in intensity and enjoyment, again, creating a different type of play sensation for them.

Cleaning wasn’t something they were enthused about, but I think this is often the case for users who tend to have toys that are either A) Easier to clean (such as a disposable egg or cock ring) or B) Something they already know will take a long-ass time (such as a fleshlight or stroker). The waterproof element definitely helped and I don’t think that my tester could have been happier with the takeaway. They did, however, reiterate multiple times that the vibrations might be a bit of a strong shock for some users.

My experiences with the Pocket Pulse were equally pleasurable though, as you might imagine, I got less intensity from the toy and was able to maneuver and pull it away from my body as I wished when going solo, which was actually a pretty fun way to experience this toy.

I also opted for the version with a remote and, let me say, it is super duper handy and very responsive. Definitely do the same if you can (especially if you want it for hands-free or partnered use).

As for downsides? Well, I suppose if you’ve previously owned a Pulse and were hoping for a similar sensation then you may very well be disappointed. It’s hard to even quantify this product compared to the others because it doefeel different, so you are going to be gambling a bit if you are a current Pulse convert and like what you know from the larger toy.

This toy is also incredibly loud. Hot Octopuss just don’t know how to do quiet toys yet, and if you are in a communal living situation I don’t know that I could endorse the Pocket Pulse.

The Pocket Pulse is USB rechargeable and does come with a storage bag, but I’m also not sure how well-suited for travel it is, again, due to its noisiness.

Swings and roundabouts, I suppose.

Final Thoughts

Can I just say how thrilled I am to finally be at this point? Because, overall, I feel like the Pocket Pulse is a great toy with a strong performance that I can personally recommend to interested users.

Granted, it’s not light, and some people may take one look at its aesthetics and be like ‘no mate’ but, honestly, I think those people might be missing out.

If you have a penis (and noise isn’t an issue for you) I do think that the Pocket Pulse is worth a try – all the more so if you have a partner with a vulva who is interested in using it with you, or even solo.

Hot Octopuss toys are divisive but, this time, I’m coming out on the positive end, and I couldn’t be happier (or more sexually satisfied) as a result.