How’re you all doing?
So…Here’s a suggestion…and I know it’s a bit ‘out there’, as it were.
How about we don’t put glitter in our vaginas?
The internet moves fast so if you haven’t heard of this new craze allow me to be the bearer of baffling news.
Thanks to a product called Passion Dust Intimacy Pills you can now make sure that your vagina produces all the glam and glitter that one might expect if they someone managed to seduce and fuck a unicorn.
Essentially these capsules get inserted in to the vagina and then, over time, dissolve and release glitter and a sweet flavour that is supposed to add a little sparkle and flavor to your sex life.
Oh, and it comes with a safety warning for people who have asthma to avoid using it during oral sex.
Why Is This A Bad Thing?
If you’re like me then the very idea of a sweet glitter pill for your vagina probably raises red flags without needing to know more, but it always pays to elaborate, so let’s get in to the nitty gritty.
Speaking to The Independent, Dr Vanessa Mackay, spokesperson for the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (RCOG), points out that placing glitter in your vagina can disrupt the natural balance of the vagina and lead to an infection (bacterial vaginosis or thrush, for example), or general inflammation.
Starch and gelatin are listed in the ingredients for this pill (ruling it out for vegans and vegetarians immediately) which can raise the pH of the vagina which, again, could severely disrupt the natural processes of the vagina.
Oh and, as for that sweet flavoring, there’s a reason most product reviewers are dubious about oral products that include sugars. Sugar can encourage unwanted bacteria and fungi to grow and thrive, leading to inflammation, infections, and general discomfort.
Glitter is also an abrasive material. Granted, it’s very fine, but it’s still capable of causing microtears in the vagina, and damage to the vaginal walls means an increased change of infection and susceptibility to STIs.
All-in-all it’s a giant ‘Do not want’.
But, Wait! There’s More!
Hopefully the above wisdom from medical professionals is enough to discourage anyone from wanting to ‘bejazzle their vagazzle’, as it were, but if you think the reasons not to support this product end there then think again.
For the record, I hold no ill-will against the creator of this product, Von-Kerius. This is a lady who was diagnosed with a brain tumor in 2013, suddenly found she couldn’t enter conventional means of employment, and transformed herself in to an entrepreneur with a variety of homemade cosmetics. She faces a lot of obstacles but takes things day-by-day and keeps on fighting, and that’s admirable in any situation.
That being said, the Passion Dust Intimacy Pills website has so many problematic elements to it that it’s hard to even know where to start.
But Let’s Try Anyway
Well, firstly Passion Dust Intimacy Pills has elected to use the term ‘Yara’ to describe the term vagina, as if a substitute is needed. I will go light on Passion Dust Intimacy Pills here, because their Q&A does use the term ‘Vagina’ or ‘Vaginal’ significantly more than it does ‘Yara’ but does our vagina really need some magical, airy-fairy butterfly term to sound appealing? I’m inclined to say no.
Of much more concern is the attitude that Passion Dust Intimacy Pills has towards the vagina and the way it functions. Passion Dust Intimacy Pills assumes that only women have vaginas and that all vaginas are well-lubricated. In fact, the entire premise of their product relies on women having a naturally abundant flow of lubrication.
This becomes apparent in the following section:
Your body’s physical responses help to release the Passion Dust. Basically, the more excited you get physically the faster the capsule dissolves creating a sparkly, flavored orgasm. Your passion makes it happen!
It’s the term ‘Your passion makes it happen!’ that is so worrying to me here. The implication is that those who do struggle with natural fluids just aren’t passionate enough, can’t produce the desired effects, or are, in some way, generally defective or incompatible with the product.
Not once does Passion Dust Intimacy Pills address or acknowledge the fact that some people may have vaginal dryness, or suggest other ways to help provide a suitable substitute for natural fluids (such as lubricants).
So, there’s a lack of inclusion. Okay. But that’s pretty common, right?
Well, trust me, that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Scroll further down the Q&A page of the Passion Dust Intimacy Pills site and things go even further downhill.
Addressing the flavor choice for the Passion Dust Intimacy Pills the site states that:
The flavor is sweet like candy but not overly sweet, just enough to make your lover feel that your Yara (water-lady or little butterfly) is what all vaginas are supposed to look, feel and taste like; soft, sweet and magical!
Uhm, I’m sorry but what?
A vagina is supposed to look, feel, and taste however a vagina is. There is no uniform way to have a vagina and there is no uniform standard that vaginas must meet to gain approval.
Come to think of it, why should our partner’s expectations for our vagina dictate anything?
The fact that we’re at a point in society that people are feeling self-conscious and judged for the state of their genitals (to the point where they feel the need to ‘glam them up’ or, worst, have pressure-based surgical procedures) is worrying enough. But for someone who claims that their product is ‘magical’ to then pander to this insecurity to sell their product is far from acceptable.
And then we get to the ‘Is It Safe?’ section of the Q&A.
As you can imagine, these pills have gained widespread criticism from anyone with the appropriate qualifications to speak on vaginal health.
In news reports Von-Kerius has admitted that her main way of testing her product was first on herself and then on others—so these pills don’t even have the appropriate official certification or testing procedures that one would hope for a product that goes inside your body.
And the way Von-Kerius defends her product on the Passion Dust Intimacy Pills is so problematic that I literally let out a moan of incredulous anguish when I read it.
The previously mentioned asthma-attack warning is the first thing Passion Dust Intimacy Pills addresses which, okay, good on ‘em. There are also mentions of bacterial vaginosis and a ‘know your body and avoid if you have sensitivities’ warning. Again, good.
But then there’s this:
Any gynecologist would tell you that NOTHING should go in your vagina! and nothing concerning the vaginal region comes without some possible risk. You shouldn’t have sex without a condom and even latex can be hazardous if you happen to have an allergy, you shouldn’t use tampons, douche, powders, perfumes, toys, lubes, lotions, oils and beware of dirty nails and fingers!
The fact is nothing should go in there and if it does you have to use your own discretion when deciding what those things will be. As mature adults we play and experiment with our sexuality and Passion Dust is a bedroom novelty aid that is meant to add something new and fun to your bedroom play and lovemaking experience.
‘Any gynecologist would tell you that NOTHING should go in your vagina!’…I’m sorry, but what?
I don’t know about you but last time I went to a gynaecologist they inserted a spectrum in to my vagina, coated in lubricant, and then followed with a swab for good measure.
I’ve never once gone to a gynaecologist and had them say ‘Oh, sorry, but our professional opinion is that you can’t put anything in your vagina ever, so no examination for you’.
In fact, last time I checked most gynaecologists actively encourage the use of products such as condoms (latex or non-latex if you have allergies) and body-safe lubricants.
And, wait, of course you shouldn’t insert dirty fingers in to someone’s vagina. Why is this being listed as something that is seemingly outlandish to discourage against? What’s going on with this site’s logic!?!
Also the notion of ‘Well you do dangerous things every day so why not do one more dangerous thing?’ is an argument that is so flawed and toxic that I don’t even need to say more against it.
Instead let’s look at this site’s inherent sexism.
Because this site doesn’t just assume that all vagina-owners are women, but it also assumes that all women are magical, sparkly, girly-girls who are in to accessorizing and pleasing their man, and presenting their lover with the most aesthetically kitsch vagina that they possibly can.
But, even more worrying is how this site views men and the relationship dynamic is assumes of its client base.
Allow me to share the first of many worrying snippets:
If you partner is a guy then don’t tell him! Is how you fix that. It will most certainly have to be a surprise for him, Men don’t know or understand why women do half of the things they do, they don’t know or care why girls and women like pretty, sparkly things so to them it’s all weird, crazy, stupid and pretty much unnecessary. If left up to them we’d have thin eyebrows, colorless lips and short lashes!
How often to men know what they like until we do it to them anyway?…exactly. They never understand the reasons but they always appreciate the results. Trust us.
No. No, I will not trust you, because this is fucked up.
It’s insulting to men, presumptuous about women, and actively promotes introducing a new sexual element to your relationship without full consent.
Allow me to repeat that: This site promotes the absence of consent to sell their product and tries to mask that fact under the guise of ‘Oh, teehee, boys just don’t get girls, y’know?’
And I use the term ‘boys’ deliberately here because, according to this site ‘We know how boys feel about glitter and glosses, etc…we say boys because no man has yet to complain, they don’t like it’.
Oh, yes, because let’s try and question people’s maturity level and challenge their status as a fully-formed and well-reasoned adult in addition to everything else.
But it gets even worst.
Apparently, according to the Passion Dust Q&A page, if all else fails to convince your man that sticking sugar and glitter in to your vagina is a bad idea, here is the final thing that the site uses to try and convince men to allow the use of this product:
If you trust your mate (or not), if you’re sure that you are the #1 person in your lover’s life then what difference will it make if they have a little glitter in their shorts when they leave the house?…whose gunna see?..no one other than you should need an explanation anyway, right?…And it does work both ways. GUYS; If your lady leaves the house or comes home sparkling and she hasn’t been with you, you may have a few questions of your own.
HAHAHAHAHAHA, cheating! Because that’s how you sell your product, right? Through encouraging suspicion between partners. Hilarious!
What an entirely appropriate and not fucked-up-as-all-hell marketing tactic at all.
Oh, and that’s not even addressing the assumption that men control their women’s actions. That a woman ‘leaving the home’ is some sort of weird occurrence that demands a vaginal examination afterwards. Because all women need to be regulated by their men, right? And vaginal glitter is the best way to do that, right?
Even if you don’t think that glitter in your vagina is a risky medical choice. Even if you’re the biggest sparkle appreciator in the world. I urge you to avoid this product. Not just because it’s a risk to your body, but because the marketing approach of this product is so sexist, vapid, and sincerely damaging that it doesn’t deserve a single ounce of support or encouragement. Not even the tiniest glitter dash of a measurement.