Toy Review: The Self Delve Curved Cucumber

Okay. I get it now. Vegetables and vaginas go together like salt and caramel; a bit peculiar when you first hear about it but downright addictive once you’ve given it a try. At least when it comes to the silicone variety. Body-safety has got to come first after all.

The Self Delve Curved Cucumber is one such silicone beauty and it provides some impressive sensations. I’m talking near Pure Wand or Comet Wand levels of impressiveness. It’s quickly become one of my G-Spot’s best buddies and is a unique addition to my collection.

So what makes the Curved Cucumber so exceptional? Let’s find out together.

About Self Delve

Self Delve is a German company specializing in unconventional silicone dildos. Their company name, Self Delve, was inspired by a desire for people to take the time to examine their own sexual wants and desires; to delve into themselves without inhibitions.

With this is mind Self Delve’s chameleon logo (Leo the chameleon) might seem a little odd until you realize the company’s other big selling point: All of their toys change colour during use. As Self Delve’s owner describes it to me, they saw a colour changing spoon one day and decided that it might be fun if that was applied to the bedroom too.

So how is this achieved?

Self Delve use thermochromic pigments in each of their toys to get this colour changing effect. Don’t worry though. Self Delve’s toys are also all made out of phthalate-free, non-toxic, non-porous, hypoallergenic silicone making them totally body safe.

A lot of hard work and care goes into each Self Delve creation.

As if owning a strangely shaped, colour changing hunk of sexy silicone wasn’t already enough, Self Delve also offers their toys in three different firmesses: soft, medium, of firm. Self Delve recommends that the larger the toy the softer if be but, ultimately, they leave it up to you.

If you’re feeling really adventurous Self Delve also has a bespoke service where you can request your very own custom-made product. I suggest checking this out because some of the results are absolutely stunning.

An example of a bespoke Self Delve product.
Their water dildo in black, gold and red with golden glitter.

My Self Delve toys arrived very swiftly and were discreetly packed. My correspondence with the company has always been friendly and I’ve always had response back very promptly.

Because of how awesome Self Delve’s products are and how great their customer service is I highly recommend Self Delve. The only real issue I have with the site is that it doesn’t have an English translation, but that’s a very minor niggle that shouldn’t hold you back from supporting this company.

The Self Delve Curved Cucumber

The Self Delve Curved Cucumber is simultaneously one of the weirdest and most effective dildos that I own. Its appearance is obviously meant to replicate that of a cucumber and it achieves this very well.

This cucumber might not help with your fitness regime but it is great for sexual well being.

There are indentations and minor bumps and ripples in the Curved Cucumber that add to its realism and the starting colour is also very accurate. The Curved Cucumber also has a shining sheen to it that makes it glimmer when held up to the light. I really like this and it certainly gives the impression that a lot of thought went into this dildo. Near the narrower end of the Curved Cucumber (which I use as a handle) is Self Delve’s little chameleon logo, which I think is a very nice touch.

My Curved Cucumber came in a metal storage box which is incredibly sturdy and practical. Yes, it takes up more space than a storage bag, but it’s also much more durable and no one would ever suspect what was in it.

As I mentioned before, the Curved Cucumber is made out of body-safe silicone making it safe to use and easy to clean. This silicone is glossy and, while it does grab dust still, it’s also incredibly easy to clean. This silicone responds very well to lubricant and I find that I don’t use as much lube as I normally would to get a decent level of slide.

Inserting the Curved Cucumber should be easy for most people. Its maximum length when stretched out is about 11 inches, with a starting circumference of 4 inches and a maximum of about 5.25 inches. This makes the Curved Cucumber quite an accessible toy, even if its initial shape might give some people pause for thought.

As you can probably tell, the Curved Cucumber lives up to its namesake by having a very pronounced curve which is perfect for hitting the G-Spot.

Whenever I insert this toy it pinpoints and places pressure on my G-Spot without hesitation. It’s as if the two were long-lost friends going in for a joyous reunion hug. There’s no mistaking it. This toy knows what it’s doing and it does it very well.

I honestly haven’t felt a G-Spot toy similar to the Curved Cucumber since first discovering the Comet Wand and the Pure Wand, although the Curved Cucumber does have some differences (which I actually prefer in some ways).

For one, the Curved Cucumber lacks the bulbous head of the G-Spotting greats. While this may seem like a downside it actually provides a nice alternate approach to stimulation. The Curved Cucumber’s tip isn’t an all-enveloping bulb. Instead it’s a large but tapered end which comes up reasonable small (what with its 4 inch circumference). This means that the Curved Cucumber provides more targeted stimulation without sacrificing the curve which makes the Pure and Comet Wands so great.

The bulbous head may be gone but the curve remains.

Although the Pure and Comet Wand have a great shape, they can sometimes feel a little bit too firm for some people’s liking. After all, glass and steel don’t have much in the way of give. This isn’t the case with the Curved Cucumber. With three different firmnesses to choose from, the Curved Cucumber can be as hard or as soft as you want. Even the firmest option is still silicone, too, meaning that it will always feel a bit more flexible and light-weight. This has another added bonus for those with mobility issues, as the Curved Cucumber is nowhere near as hefty as the Pure Wand.

These reasons alone are enough to earn the Curved Cucumber a spot up with the greats, in my opinion. However, my orgasms also make a pretty good case.

I have never had a half-hearted orgasm with the Curved Cucumber. They have always been intense, prolonged and very satisfying. When I say prolonged I don’t mean a few more seconds either. Sometimes I’ve heard a whole song go by during my climax and I’ll still be rocking the Curved Cucumber away as the track changes.

Let’s talk about the colour changing for a moment too. When I first saw the Curved Cucumber online I wasn’t too sure as to just how drastic the change would be. Sure, I saw the product pictures, but I don’t think anything can really prepare you for your first colour changing dildo.

When I first pulled the Curved Cucumber out I was amazed by how drastic the change was. The affected areas had gone from deep green to a bright, fresh, almost vibrant lime green. I waggled the dildo in front of Mr. Peaches’ face, amazed at what my vagina had achieved, before enthusiastically tweeting about the good news.

Look at this! I mean, seriously, how awesome is that!?

Colour changing isn’t essential to a toy, of course, but it is friggin amazing, and it makes me cherish my Curved Cucumber even more. Pulling the Curved Cucumber out after climax and seeing the colour change is like a visualisation of my sex session. Like, yeah, that was just in my vagina, and I enjoyed every moment of it. You can even see how much of the length you enjoyed based on where the colour difference is.

Is this toy perfect? Of course not, but most of its downsides really are personal preference.

If you don’t like curved toys then the Curved Cucumber probably won’t appeal to you (the clue is in the name, after all). If the unmoving firmness of the Pure and Comet Wand is what makes you like them so much then the Curved Cucumber may also disappoint. And, I have to admit, some maneuvering does have to occur when I use my Curved Cucumber with my larger wands.

However, these are all very minor things and none of them detract at all from the high craftsmanship and effectiveness of this outstanding product. I’m smitten.

Final Thoughts

Overall I adore the Curved Cucumber and I can see it being a firm favourite for those days where I crave a drastic curve but don’t want a wholly rigid toy.

The Curved Cucumber knows how to find the G-Spot and it does so with remarkable ease, making it a true asset in the bedroom. And, if we’re being honest here, its design also taps into an iconic aspect of sex toy history.

If you want a playfully designed adult product that packs a punch during use then I can’t recommend the Curved Cucumber enough. To me it’s up there with the greats.