Article: How To Survive Valentine’s When You’re Single AF (And Bothered By That Fact)

So Valentine’s Day is even closer, you’re single AF and that annoys you…or  upsets you, angers you, or just makes you feel like absolute shit, or maybe it feels you with joy. If the latter is the case then awesome! But, singles at Valentine’s Day still do generally struggle with finding their place in a holiday made specifically for couples, to which I say ‘don’t worry – you’re not alone’.

Some Valentine’s Day Statistics

According to various surveys (which I’ve amalgamated in to a median here), over half of Americans identify themselves as single. In the UK this goes down to 1 in 3, but still comes in at about 17 million unattached individuals. And, in general, 1 in 3 single people still care about, and make an effort to observe, Valentine’s Day.

If you’re reading this, then you are one of those 1 in 3, and part of a pretty big group, as you can see.

Whether recently unattached, or single for a long time, and no matter the emotions, it can seem awkward, complicated, or perhaps just even confusing when it comes to approaching Valentine’s Day as a singleton who still values the holiday. But, don’t worry – not only are you part of a like-minded group, but there are also multiple ways that you can feel like a successful member of this group in terms of celebratory observance.

How? Here are just a few of my suggestions.

Spend The Time With Friends

Believe it or not, a significant amount of people aren’t celebrating Valentine’s with just their significant other/s, they’re doing so with their friends too.

A lot of searches, financial purchases, and other Valentine’s based SEO sorcery involves the mention of friends and a significant amount of gifts are for friends in addition to romantic partners.

And why not celebrate with friends? Most people over the age of 16 (93%) have a friend that they consider to be integral to their life, and friendship is linked to emotional wellbeing, social happiness, and allow for so many different experiences and excitement in life.

So get with some friends (or your closest friend), go out together to a gig, stay in for a movie night, attend a class together, or whatever else catches your fancy.

Really, what you do doesn’t matter as much as who you’re doing it with and together you can make some pretty rad Valentine’s memories.

Spend Money On Yourself

One of the typical perks of being single at Valentine’s Day is that you don’t have to be one of the people spending an average of $143.56 on flowers, jewelry, candy, clothes and other gifts and over $19 billion, as a whole in the US (as of 2016).

But just because you can take advantage of this perk doesn’t mean that you have to.

In fact, treating yourself is one of the fundamentals of life and is an essential act of self care (and anyone who says otherwise A) Really doesn’t have a right to comment on your life and B) Probably treats themselves regularly without even thinking).

Treats can seem a bit selfish for some (esp. if poor mental health is in the mix) or might seem like an investment you can’t afford (depending on your socio-economic background), but whatever money you do spend (if you decide to spend some, that is) doesn’t have to be big. It could be something as small as a new piece of thread for a sewing project, a fresh cup of coffee at your favourite bar (at which point you’re buying an atmosphere too), or something from a charity organisation (in which case you’re also getting some feel god vibes and helping others too).

If you do want to be more in keeping with the Valentine’s investments of others then know that on average, a single man will spend $71 during the holiday and a single woman will spend $40. If you mark yourself on those who do celebrate then, HO BOY, the sky is the limit.

Go Fuck Yourself (Literally)

Self love doesn’t have to be figurative, it can be literal too.

Get all snuggled up, pull out your favourite toy (or purchase yourself a new one for Valentine’s) and rediscover why you love yourself so damned much.

The body has so many physical capabilities to make us feel great and let us know just how awesome we are. Oxytocin release is one of them, but so is the psychological dynamic of realising that we can induce some of the best sensations from our body when we are the ones in direct control of it.

Of course, this isn’t the only form of pleasure, but – in the context of purely self enjoyment, it’s a pretty big one.

Aaaand, if you want some company then why not include some lustful erotica, some rad queer porn (I recommend Crashpad).

Find Someone To Fuck

Friends with benefits, sex parties, kink events, paid services, casual hook ups, whatever your version of a fun time take it a ride with it.

I think there is an assumption that people who are single on Valentine’s Day don’t have options (or people they can enjoy the sexual company of) and that’s just not true at all. There are so many ways that you can connect with others and if you choose to do so on Valentine’s Day then why not make that a strong part of your celebrations?

Oh, and if anyone judges you for that then refer to section A) of treating yourself with gifts and don’t give it more of your time or thoughts.

After, all, you’ll be far too busy enjoying yourself with the person (or people) of your choice.

So, whatever you do as a single person this Valentine’s remember: You’re not just single – you’re and individual, with your own individual way of finding your Valentine’s joy. 

Take care y’all!