Article: Travel & Sex (Some Musings)

I’ve been travelling a lot recently and you know what that means – I’ve been thinking incessantly about the nature of travel and sex and the potential to combine the two when on the road (because who doesn’t link every aspect of life to sex, amirite?)

When it comes to my own experiences, you might assume that I have a large amount of sex parties, dungeon trips, and fleeting hook-ups under my (barely on) belt. Although these would all be great ways to explore sex while travelling (and more on them all later), that’s not really the case when it comes to me.

Usually when I travel it’s either for business or family boding, which means I’m typically too tired or too ‘previously engaged’ come the end of the day to be hitting the sex scene in full force.

For this particular trip I was up at 4:30 the morning after an evening theater show in order to head to a local gym and get some training in before continuing on to another day-long pursuit of family-based tourism stuff. Above is a moment from my post-gym walk back to the hotel room.

No, for me sex and travelling is much more intimate, introspective, and focuses on small little forays in to different stores or with particular friends – again, more typically had in coffee shops than under the sheets.

Don’t get me wrong: One of the things I really do cherish about travel is the way that it pulls you out of your typical routine and inherently forces you in a to a new dynamic with how you live, including the sexual aspects of your existence.

Suddenly, you find yourself masturbating in different beds, huddling breathlessly under different sheets, and thinking of the logistics of where you’re going to place any lubricant or other props that you have chosen to bring with you (or buy while out and about).

If you’re travelling with a partner (or have gone for a hook-up) then you have to learn a new area, acclimatizing yourself to your surroundings and putting your creative brain to good work as you think about the best areas and angles to achieve the sexual positions that you want.

And, of course, during sex your mind might wander and begin to remind you of, or introduce, the unfamiliarity of your surroundings to the sensations that you feel while in a state of arousal.

Something as generally insignificant as a certain picture on the wall, or the feeling of the sheets or springs of the bed might all of a sudden become main players in your mind’s mental processing and create a noticeable otherness to your sex session.These can either become part of your new sexual norm or something that even augments your enjoyment of the moment.

For me the variation in different blankets is a big one: Whether a duvet is light or heavy, clumpy or consistent, etc. I like to have the sheets up and over my shoulders when engaging in self-love and the way that the sheets covering a duvet feels is almost like an inanimate kissing or caressing that plays in to the build-up before my sexual climax.

And, yes, this is a big part of what I enjoy when it comes to sex and travelling.

But I also like be a travel tourist in a new sexual environment (much like I mentioned in my previous article) and, if given a chance, I will always go to at least one sex shop during my travels to a new area (usually researched in advance) and see what they have.

For places I go to often these shops that I visit act like anchors to me. I enjoy returning to them, like the prodigal daughter, and finding out what has changed since I was there last. Typically this involves the shop front display, the selection, and perhaps even some of the staff (always a shame to see good staff go, but also nice in that I imagine it may be because they’re pursing something they’re passionate about).

Even with familiar shops,  there will always be different customers, too, so I’m always overhearing or seeing some new expression of people engaging with their own sex shop experience. Not only is this great from a research perspective (it’s important for me to know what most non-sex bloggers feel like when entering a sex store, and how they handle it), but it’s also just lovely to feel that sense of silent solidarity of humans existing in a certain sexual space and just kind of just accepting and embracing that situation.

Yes, I overthink things.

No, that doesn’t detract from my enjoyment.

And, of course, if you are the type of person looking to hook up with people or attend local events, then talking to staff in adult stores, finding the sexual districts of any given location, and generally doing your research in regards to the best hook-up places is always possible when in a sex shop.

Depending on the type of hook up you want, you might also like to research and then frequent certain clubs. If you’ve already got people lined up then take them in to (or arrange to meet by) a sex shop as a potential primer and/or place to take in stock for what you have planned.

Dungeons are something I’ve never personally explored, but I know that they are scattered in many travel locations and again, if researched and booked in advance, are a very valid way of exploring sex while travelling.

Although I am 100% interested in spending a night in a private dungeon/BDSM space, for now I just take silent satisfaction looking up these spaces in advance and just knowing they’re there.

Sometimes I even walk past the areas (usually while en route to an actual engagement, and not out of any deliberate attempt) and just kind of quietly chuckle to myself at how innocuous our kinks and fetishes truly are. That very suave looking business man (a silver fox, but a professional and a seemingly staunch conservative, by any visual accounts) might just be heading up to get his balls electrocuted in between meetings. You never know.

Such moments are also why I roll my eyes when people say that most individuals don’t get up to those sex acts because, really, how the hell would you know? Anyone can be doing anything and just be very good at concealing their preferred activities. Sex might be deemed as ‘explicit’ when seen, but sexual desires, encounters, and explorations can so easily be the antonym of that word, when you really think about it.

Which comes on to one of my favourite things regarding sex, travel, and what I love about the two: Gossiping with friends, usually other sex bloggers (but sometimes not) about sex, love, relationships, and everything in between. Get people together in a causal it’s-been-too-long setting and you’re pretty much always guaranteed to hit some political topics (‘Did you see [insert story here] in the news the other day?’), some personal ones (‘So how have you been?’), and some sex-based ones (‘Been with anyone recently?’), at least in my experience.

Those discussions are great, and if you don’t talk freely about sex, sexuality, and relationships with your friends when catching up during trips (or perhaps just a bunch of strangers that you encounter and bond with at a bar) then I highly recommend it.

Granted, I have an easy in – I’m a sex writer. When people ask ‘So what do you do?’ I’m pretty much going in to that territory straight away, but I still encourage finding some way to introduce sex in to fun, long discussions, because you will almost always learn something new, learn more about the people you’re with, and either learn about or affirm things regarding yourself.

Those moments are a firm sexual reboot for me and prompt a renewal of my own existence as an attractive, attracted, and sexually engaged individual, and I get those moments most when travelling.

As you can probably tell, there’s no strong moral to this article. It’s much more a jumble of musings as I huddle up on my sofa with a swollen ankle (I tripped and sprained my ankle – fear for my marathon training people), and two cups of tea (chocolate mint, and caramel mint), but sometimes the rambling articles feel like the most authentic and enjoyable, and I hope you feel the same way too.

It’s nice to have a conversation with you and, as much as I enjoy travelling, it’s always a joy for me to sit at home, reconnect with my own space, and reconnect with you on what I consider to be my internet home, Emmeline Peaches Reviews. 

Until the next review,