Product Review: A Love Layla Birthday

Howdy-ho people!

How are you today? Did you celebrate Christmas? Another festive holiday? How did it go? Well, I hope. Let me know if the comments (or on social media). I’d love to know!

As for myself, I’m great. I adore Christmas, adore gift giving and so, for me, I’m doubly happy when this time of year comes along because it’s also my dad’s Birthday soon.

Yup: Papa Peach is getting one year older and, this year, I’m bringing a bit of adult product geekery combined with British cheek to his annual celebration of surviving another year, Love Layla style.

A Love Layla Birthday

Alongside Christmas stuff, and calendars for the New Year, Love Layla also offer different products for all times of year and all events, including Birthdays. And, alongside their festive bundle to me, Love Layla just so happened to include a few of these products, not knowing just how close my father’s day of I’m-not-dead was.

And, let’s be real here, when a sex toy blogger gets a bunch of cheeky adult Birthday gear near their dad’s Birthday, it would be an injustice if they didn’t shamelessly test out those products on their beloved Pop?

I mean, this was inevitable.

The Total Package

Love Layla offer up a lot of products that could be potentially perceived as Birthday material.

Their cards are an obvious one. With 363 card designs available (and a family specific section, including some really sweet ones) you’re pretty much spoiled for choice with Love Layla’s selection.

I mean, if Love Layla knew about my dad’s Birthday I’m sure they would have sent this and, I can guarantee, it would be pretty much perfect but, as it happens, the one they sent me is also 100% on point.

But, in addition to cards, Love Layla also offers wrapping paper, balloons, badges, wine labels, and so-called ‘glitter shitters‘ (please don’t get one of these, but more on that later).

But what did I get?


My Birthday Haul

What my unsuspecting Dad has in store.

As eagle-eyed readers will probably notice, not everything in my ‘Surprise Papa Peach Birthday Pack’ is technically from Love Layla’s Birthday range but, fuck it, I am perfectly happy to gift my dad a packed of novelty balloons wrapped in penis wrapping paper and accompanied by a ‘Happy Birthday Bellend‘ card. Because I’m that kind of daughter.

Looking at this ensemble I feel like, if you really wanted to, you could easily make up an equally enjoyable novelty gift for your own loved one using nothing but items stocked by Love Layla, which is always a great sign, because it avoids having to shop around too much for a novelty gift while also allowing you to, in some way, give them a pretty high-quality gift-giving experience.

I mean, I’ve spoken about both the Love Layla Cards and their Wrapping Paper before and both are great.

The cards are made of a beautifully thick matte card (300gsm), measure in at a nice size (A4 folded to A5), and feel really nice when held or when writing in them. I’ve yet to feel like any of the stationary I’ve used on these cards would in any way damage them and I tested them with ballpoint pens, fountain pens, gloss pens, and permanent markers. All came out fine and none came through the card on the other side.

These cards also come with a blank inside, which I find to be the better option with novelty cards. Not only is what you say already covered on the front of the card, but you then have ample room to add to the banter, include a sweet message to balance the scales, or beg forgiveness for being the type of daughter who uses their dad as a way to review a novelty gift range (although that last one is rather specific).

I’m looking forward to my Dad’s reaction to this.

The wrapping paper is also matte, is almost as thick as card (but not to the point where it’s awkward), and feels substantial.

This paper comes folded, which I worried might look awkward when you’ve wrapped your present but, in the end, I appreciated it. What I liked about the folding is that, when placing my gift to my dad on to the paper I could easily estimate just how many once-folded squares I needed to get the job done, meaning I could easily cut the paper to size. Because of this I was able to save waste and keep some cock for myself. Bonus.

What I will say is that, yes, the folding is noticeable at first on the wrapping paper, but it’s not horrendous and it does settle over time. Plus the benefits of having high quality paper by far outweighed this folded aspect, which meant I didn’t see it as a big downside.

As for the gift I included? Let’s just say that it’s not usually my Dad that does the blowing in our household, so this will shake things up a bit.

Advice and a warning is included with these balloons, which was nice.

Love Layla may do a lot of balloons, but the Blow Me ones are so nicely generic that they can fit with most occasions while still adding that sex geek element which we all know and love (I kind of want to see them at Eroticon too, but I digress).

With each £4.25 purchase you get  a pack of 5 latex balloons, which come in at 12 inches when inflated.

These balloons…they sure do look great. Their messages are well printed, they can be blown up with helium and…uhhhh…okay, I have another confession to make: I’m scared of balloons.

God dammit Love Layla for making me air all of my dirty laundry in public!

Balloons and party poppers – I can’t stand them. Party poppers especially, but the sound of balloons popping is still terrifying to me.

Because of this I have never learnt how to fully inflate a balloon and I’ve never learnt how to tie one up, at least not through physical practice. I’m just too damned scared that the thing will pop on me, and I am not the kind to take that risk in life.

So, I cannot personally attest to just how well these balloons inflate, nor how they look when inflated, but I will try and give you an update once my Daddy dearest has been gifted these items.

And, oh boy, am I looking forward to that day.


I’ve already discussed some of the more specific downsides of the items I received, but are there any other downsides worth considering?

Well, obviously, if you have a latex allergy then purchasing the latex balloons might not be the best idea for you. At least not if you’re planning on blowing them up yourself.

Pricing for these items is also higher that your dime store novelty items but this is a moot point because you’re not paying for a budget product. These are clearly high-quality, personalized, specialty gift-giving items and come with a price range to match.

In comparison to other gift-giving items of this category I’d say the Love Layla prices are very reasonable, and you get what you pay for and then some. Plus free shipping helps belay any financial flinching that you might experience at first.

If there were one gripe I could seriously bring to the entire Love Layla birthday range then it’s directed at the ‘glitter shitter’ range specifically.

Sorry Peeps, But Glitter Is Horrendous

And I’m not saying it’s ‘annoying’ or anything else: Glitter is objectively bad for the environment and us.

In what can only be described as an incredibly specific coincidence, the University I got my doctorate from is currently undertaking research into the detrimental effects of glitter and have found that it damages marine life alongside microbeads (which are being banned in the UK).

This is because glitter is made from microplastics which then threatens marine life and, as a result, our oceans.

Although there’s no current ban on glitter, many scientists feel that they should be due to the serious threat that they pose. Given all this, I can’t help but be a little sad to see Love Layla promoting glitter use (overuse) so blatantly and, in future, I hope the company becomes proactive in phasing out glitter rather than waiting for the government to do it for us.

But, hey, that’s my personal hang up.

Final Thoughts

Overall, I am positively giddy at the Love Layla Birthday package I have put together and I cannot wait to present it to my dad.

Love Layla’s range have made me feel just how you should feel during gift selection and wrapping: Happy, excited, and looking forward to the moment that the recipient gets what you purchased for them, wrapping paper and all.

If you’ve got any occasions coming up then I highly recommend using the Love Layla range.

Trust me when I say you’ll be smiling just from browsing their selection.

P.S. I want to own and frame this amazing creation. Kudos Love Layla for making me feel the non-sexual warm fuzzies.

Recommend to:

People who like cheeky humor.

People who like adult gift-giving.

People buying for sex nerds.

Do Not Recommend to:

People who just want a cheap item.

People who dislike this tongue-in-cheek humor.

People who dislike matte materials.

This Love Layla gift bundle was provided to me by Love Layla in exchange for an honest review.