So today has been a day.
The morning started fantastically. Took my Vivo Life Vegan pre-workout, which always makes me the most hyper and energetic individual ever, and I managed to smash my kettlebell routine, moving up in weights. Great.
Then I wrote a review and had some yummy, yummy oats for brekkie while watching Blue Planet II (which is stunning by the way).
Then I applied a new ‘warming’ lubricant I was due to test. And suddenly everything was just…
Running to the loo, I cleaned up and then bravely (foolishly) decided to test the accompanying cooling one that came with it.
…I think you know where this is going.
Pain achieved, and limp gained, I decided it was time to clean out my little bundles or prickly joy but, oh gosh, I’d ran out of their food. Their very specifically branded food.
Well, no worries. I could just bite the bullet and take the 45 minute round trip in order to get them more.
Except that, when I went to my usual stockist, they didn’t have any left…and the next closest one was an additional 45 minute round trip away…shit.
But, hey, animals gotta be fed, so I power walked, commuted, and generally panted my way through claiming my hedgie’s noms as swifty as I could and got home for some lunch and post-commotion toy testing.
The toy I was testing? The semi-apty named BMS Factory Commotion Rhumba.
Suffice to say, things didn’t get better with this decision.
The BMS Factory Commotion Rhumba
If I had to pick a single .gif to summarize how I feel about this toy (because sometimes .gif heavy reviews are fun) it would be this one.
Because, from now on I’m keeping the BMS Factory Commotion Rhumba as far away from me as I possibly can.
My first encounter with the BMS Factory Commotion Rhumba was, to put it lightly, not a good one, but I did soldier on – revisiting it throughout the day for further testing with different lubricant and using different positions. My conclusion from this thorough interval testing bout? Refer to the above .gif.
That being said, I like to be objective and find silver linings (even on the greyest of clouds), so let’s look at the specifications for this toy and its benefits, before diving further in to the ordeal of my day. You could perhaps even consider this review a bit of an insight in to a day in the life of a sex toy tester (which sounds a lot better than ‘Emmeline rants randomly in a product review’). Let’s commence the appraisal!
The BMS Factory Commotion Rhumba is one of the latest offerings from BMS Factory – a company that, in general, provides outstanding adult products. In the past they have produced the Palm Power Recharge and the iconic Swan Wand. I’ve used my Swan Wand so much that it’s actually given up the ghost on me now, which I am extremely sad about. RIP my precious. Anyways, moving on.
The premise behind the BMS Factory Commotion Rhumba is to ‘let it move you’. To this end, its shaft doesn’t actually vibrate at all. Instead, in includes an internal system of 4 beads which are spiraled around the shaft of the BMS Factory Commotion Rhumba. These beads, once turned on, move up and down to create a rhumba-dance of stimulation, relyingmostly on a tactile and motion-based internal response.
Supplemental to this is a bulging, semi-realistic head for the BMS Factory Commotion Rhumba, which is designed to give additional G-Spot stimulation.
Meanwhile the clitoral section of the BMS Factory Commotion Rhumba is a flexible bun-bun with a chunky bod (adorable) and incredibly flexible, relatively soft bunny ears (also adorable…at least visually).
The BMS Factory Commotion Rhumba comes in at 9.5 inches total with an insertible length of about 5.6 inches and a maximum diameter of 1.3 inches.
Unlike many rabbits, I found that the flexibility of the bunny arm and the arched angling of its ears meant that this toy actually hit my clitoris while this toy was comfortably inserted internally, which is like a complete and utter fanfare moment. I mean like…
If only the rest of my experiences with this toy were so positive.
The BMS Factory Commotion Rhumba is coated in a matte silicone, which is phthalate-free, non-porous, and completely body-safe. It doesn’t attract lint, but it is rather draggy, which we’ll touch on more later.
Silicone is one of the safest materials that you can get with a sex toy, and one of the most durable too. This is good because bead-focused toys often tend to cause damage over time, and less hardy materials can sometimes suffer quite significantly from the natural motion of the toy. But, given that this toy is made of silicone, I feel confident that the BMS Factory Commotion Rhumba will last a fairly decent time, making it one of the better beaded toy investments you can make. This is particularly true if you know that you like beaded toys already and you’re simply looking to make a more sustainable and long-term preference.
The BMS Factory Commotion Rhumba has 7 different functions, controlled by three different buttons – one button to turn the toy on and off, one to control the shaft motion and one to control the rabbit’s vibrations.
And the sensations for this toy are really where everything falls apart.
The rabbit prong on this toy delivers sensations which are powerful, yes, but my god are they ever buzzy. It’s like this toy is a dime store bullet on steroids for the extra gains. Sure, the strength is there, but it’s just all a bit suspect and doesn’t sit right at all. As for those very flexibile, flickering ears, they’re a mess – a flailing, shallow mess. These ears do a very poor job at translating the vibrations of the BMS Factory Commotion Rhumba, making its already shallow vibrations seem even more buzzy and insubstantial. Why strengthen your buzz if you’re then going to create an ear design that weakens it? I just don’t get it.
And then we come on to the shaft.
Now, I’m a texture lover. I adore the Tantus Bound and most people would wince at the mere sight of that toy, but the moment I inserted this toy I knew I was not in for a fun time.
Let me talk about that first time trying this toy again. Because it hurt. A lot.
Putting this toy into myself it was instantly apparent that the beads were too firm and too pronounced for me, which is strange. When looking at and holding this toy the beads seem very well proportioned and positioned and, yes, they are well-placed to allow them to be felt during use. The problem is I that once I had felt them I knew I didn’t want to feel them, at least not to the extent presented.
But, braving on with the task at hand, I relaxed as much as was possible (because, although instinctual, bracing one’s self before any internal sex act is never a good idea) and turned to beat on. And…well…this .gif sums up the sensation pretty well:
No – i’m not exaggerating.
As they moved up and down the beads of this toy felt like they were grating my insides with a particularly unforgiving cheese grater, and each revisit just reaffirmed the harsh, scraping sensation that this toy provided for me.
Needless to that that, on first use, I abandoned ship on those sensations pretty swiftly.
But, here’s the thing: Even when not moving at all, the beads in the BMS Factory Commotion Rhumba just hurt me. They’re not a pleasant addition at all. If anything they detract from a shaft that, had it been solo, is pretty nicely designed for internal use. Sure, there’s no defined G-Spot curve, and the complete rigidity of a straight shaft makes angling it for full clit contact a bit painful at times, but at least it’s a nice, bulging shaft. But thanks to the addition of these beads I wasn’t able to get a single climax out of this toy. They just acted as nothing but unwanted pain on an otherwise passable (not exceptional, just passable) design.
Could I theoretically orgasm with this toy? Yes. Maybe on another day with even more lube, I would be able to whelp out an orgasm from my protesting gentials, but only with an additional clit vibe and only if all of the features of this toy were completely off, and that is just not going to cut it for a toy that retails itself at $79.99.
Just because a rabbit fits my body doesn’t mean it can pleasure it, and this is the worst rabbit I’ve tried in a long time.
Oh, and afterwards I went to the toilet and was greeted with an intense stinging sensation at the end of my urination, so I guess that lube has lead to a potential UTI. At least cranberries are in season.
My perceived personal downsides for this toy should be very clear by now but, objectively I also feel like the handle is a bit of an awkward shape to make it a good fit for many bodies, and that firm shaft will definitely deter anyone who like to have a curve or just play around a bit more with the angling of their internal device.
Additional perks to the BMS Factory Commotion Rhumba? It’s USB rechargeable and waterproof.
Potential demographic? Anyone who already knows that they like straight-shafted, firm-beaded rabbit vibrators, with buzzy vibrators and very jiggly ears that retail in the luxury price range.
Ultimate conclusion? This toy can go fuck itself because it’s never getting to party in my vagina again.
What can I say? Sometimes there are strong winners from a company, and sometimes there are firm disappointments. The BMS Factory Commotion Rhumba is a complete disappointment, the aftermath of which can only be countered with a cozy night in.
Do Not Recommend to:
People who dislike texture.
People who dislike motion-based/bead-based toys.
People who like a firm/rumbly clitoral probe.
The BMS Factory Commotion Rhumba was provided to me by Peepshowtoys in exchange for an honest review. If you want to support my site then please do make purchases using the affiliate links included. But allow me to recommend the Palm Power Recharge or Swan Wand over this. You’re likely to get a much better experience for the money you spend.