Article: Lewd Food (Food And Sex Outside of Sploshing)

I remember having a conversation with the ever-lovely HornyGeekGirl about fine dining and fine fucking.

The two don’t necessarily seem linked but, in the context of our discussion, no two things were more perfectly paired:

‘I have this one amazing dish’ Cheryl started, ‘That takes just the right amount of time, so if I want a really lovely after-sex meal for us both I put it all on before we get down to business and then, by the time we’re done, there’s a gorgeous meal ready and waiting for us’.

True perfection.

And making sure that you’re well-fed after a fuck isn’t the only time that food and sex intersect.

Food porn is a thing for a reason yo.

Sploshing and sensation play are two very obvious ways where food and sex may intertwine. Taking the notion of ‘playing with your food’ and giving is a sexy twist, these actions can be incredibly enjoyable (if practiced with consideration given to hygiene and body safety). But this article is going to take a sidestep from this delightful culinary indulgence and look at the variety of other ways in which food and sex do (or can) unite.

So sit yourself down, grab a snack, and let’s take a good hearty bite out of the many ways that food can be lewd.

#1 Timed Sex Domination

Cheryl’s own story ties quite nicely in to this.

If you know how long certain sex acts can take and you want to add a playful or commanding element to your session then it’s incredibly easy to bring food into your mind games if taking up the role of a Dom.

There are even a few ways you can go with this. You could appeal to speed (‘I have cupcakes in the oven and I expect you to make me cum before they’re done otherwise you’ll be very sorry’), or take it in the other direction (‘This meal will take 40 minutes to cook, do you think you can hold my attention for that long?’).

If you’re working in a safe and controlled environment you could even add in some humiliation (‘If I find it over/under done then I am going to shove its poorly timed remnants in your pathetic face’) or use it as a reward (‘If you’re a good sub and make time then I might even share with you’).

Just make sure you pick your food wisely: You don’t want any flames or food poisoning to contend with!

#2 Balance

This one comes direct from the amazing CrashPad Crew who had an episode recently involving a Birthday cupcake.

This cupcake was placed lovingly on the posterior of the Birthday girl and their partner then flogged and spanked them. The challenge being that the cupcake must stay in place – so no big flinching motions.

I can’t even begin to describe how amazingly hot and inventive this was and I highly recommend signing up to the CrashPad to see the scene. I can’t imagine you’ll be disappointed.

#3 Fertility

We’ve all heard that certain food are an ‘aphrodisiac’ and this has varying degrees of truth.

Some food get this title because they include Vitamins or minerals that create a chemical reaction in our body, increasing feelings that can potentially be attributed to sex. Others just get the title because they have an aesthetic appeal (either looking like genitalia or allowing for alluring sucking/licking actions), or have a tactile appeal.

However, in some cases food can be productive for something quite important to some: Fertility.

If you’re trying to conceive then food packed with iron and (lean) protein are a must. Think leafy greens, beans and legumes, tofu, and some nuts and seeds for added health benefits.

Avoid spicy foods, heavy meats, processed food, overly sugary foods, and things such as coffee and alcohol.

I’m not saying ‘go vegan’ or anything, but mainly plant-based and wholefood centric does seem to be a strong way forwards (with lean foods like fish and chicken if you feel going cold turkey on meats would be too much).

#4 Libido

Again, not talking aphrodisiac here, but that ‘sexual feeling’ is still very much what this point is all about.

Imagine this: You’ve just had an absolutely AMAZING meal. Starter, huge main, full dessert, and a cheese board to boot.

Your trousers are feeling a bit tight but you don’t care because that was a great experience (in terms of flavor and company).

Upon getting ready to leave you heft yourself up, food still moving in your stomach, and your partner leans in and whispers ‘Wanna fuck?’

Do you?

For most the answer will probably be ‘I wish I could say yes but I’m just so stuffed’ or something to that effect.

For some the answer will be ‘OMFG yes! I adore stuffing myself to excess and then being pounded hard’ in which case you rock that fetish yo!

Either way the sense of fullness can greatly determine whether or not you have a positive sexual experience, or if you even feel up for sex.

For most it’s sensible to plan a light meal if you want to have sex with your partner/s, especially if it’s a planned event that you’ve both been looking forward to.

Okay, the salad option at the restaurant might not seem appealing to you, but the after-dinner activities will likely make up for your food choices (besides, you can always have an after-sex snack to make up for things if wanted).

#5 Making Yourself The Meal

Here is where some sexual roleplay can get involved.

Whether you’re the ravenous vampire or werewolf looking for your next prey to ravenously bite in to, or the pizza delivery person who finds that your customer wants a slice of you instead of the pepperoni, it can be incredibly fun to play around with food-based ideas in imagined scenarios.

Sexual innuendos can make great appearances here: Sampling meat, harvesting fruits, checking the peaches’ firmness, exploring melons. It’s all a bit Carry On, but It can be great, free-spirited fun regardless.

Just make sure that you’ve both signed off on the roleplay scenario at least somewhat in advance. You partner might like it if you turn up dressed as a giant chicken, buuut they might have actually had their hopes set on imagining you as a stud made from ice cream instead (shout out to OhJoySexToy).

The Takeaway (Pun Intended)

Food holds and incredible power over our cultural, social, and personal interactions and if anyone tells you otherwise then they’re speaking a bunch of baloney (see what I did there?)

By recognizing the potency of food in our lives you can equip yourself with a powerful tool for adult enjoyment, and perhaps even increase your chances of starting a family or rekindling a dwindling sexual flame (two very commendable acts).

As for me, I’m a huge fan of oral lubricants, so you know I’m a foodie of sorts. Plus, I also fucked a cucumber-shaped dildo. Sooooo, yeah. I’m in your culinary tribe my fellow food fans.

Let us unite in climax-inducing culinary greatness and find further ways for food and fucking to fornicate in our play sessions.