Product Review: The Sheets of San Francisco Waterproof Flatsheets Plus

Flashback in your minds to the beginning of August: Dallas airport, air con on full blast. A little Brit Peach arrives far too early for her flight back home and finds her stupidly temp. sensitive body shuddering.

Cold and sleep deprivation creep ever-closer to her and she wonders if this is it for Miss Emmeline Peaches.

But then, a revelation – like a jolt of lightning or the discovery of fire.

A tester product was bestowed upon me at Woodhull that would now become my savior.

I unlock my case, slide out huge swathes of matte black fabric, and wrap myself up securely before settling in to an airport slumber.

And that, my friends, is the story of how I used my Sheets of San Francisco Sheets in an incredibly unexpected manner.

The Sheets of San Francisco Waterproof Flatsheets Plus

I have since used my sheets in many other unconventional manners that would probably make its creators go ‘huh’ (but hopefully not cringe at my resourcefulness).

The cutest use was probably to allow my hedgehogs a great big fluidproof play zone on my bed while I supervised their shenanigans. But I digress.

Luggage-wise these sheets fold up well too.

The most common (and intended) use for these sheets is much more racy in nature, though these sheets still have an impressive range of uses.

Imagine a semi-thin ‘rubber feel’ (with a touch of matte silkiness) double sheet with a softer, polyurethane sensation (great for airport snuggles) which is entirely fluidproof, breathable, seam free, and machine washable.

What would you do?

If your answer was ‘squirt/come/climax all over the place’ then I like the way you think.

As for me: I love to cover myself in thick, cum-replicating lubricant and slathering it all over my thighs, indulging in oils, drizzling massage oil over my skin, and watching hot wax dance over the canvas of my naval, all while assured that my sheets have got my back (sometimes literally).

Also hedgehogs.

Urine and scat play, nuru massage, sploshing, spitting, bukkake basing, and dinner table tea parties are also all possible with these sheets. In all instances they will capture the fluids involved and can be easily washed to allow for the next session of fun (or dinner party where you want to avoid wine spillage).

Essentially if you have a messy kink, a massage craving, or masterful climaxes then these sheets have got you covered (though work best if laid out underneath the activity itself).

Real Talk Time: I have tried some of the most iconic fluid proof sheets out there. Prior to this I lusted for such items for years and, at times, I’ve been disappointed.

I have never been disappointed by a Sheets of San Francisco product, and these sheets are no exception.

These sheets don’t disappoint.

These sheets are my favourite fluidproof sheets to date.

Their rubberesque surface strokes up against the skin during use – acting as the foreplay before the fluidplay and courting you with its sensations. The sound it makes is equally appealing and, much like the finer notes of fine dining, adds to the overall experience.

These sheets supply their own ambiance and I love every fucking moment of it.

But, significantly, these sheets are incredibly lightweight and this is a huge selling point for me.

So many fluidproof sheets are made from dense materials that are chunky and cumbersome during use. Unfolding them and trying to sweep them over the bed is a chore (especially given their size). Not these sheets.

Boo (and tongues out) to heavy sheets.

It is so easy to unfold these sheets and they readily glide over a bed to the point of visual and practical perfection.

This means that anyone who struggles with heavy sheets will be able to use these fluidproof sheets where others may disappoint.

The only exception to this is when these sheets come fresh out of the washing machine. At that point they are exceptionally heavy and cling on to a lot of fluids in an entirely different way.

But, the flip side of that is that they do wash exceptionally well in the washing machine with no real staining or issues. Plus if you do struggle with weight and have someone assist you with washing (or simply use public washing machines) then no one is really going to think twice about a plain black sheet in the wash.

This naturally discreet element adds to the many pros of these sheets, making them a clandestine enabler of many kinky activities.

These sheets also dry incredibly fast, even when hung sopping wet to drip dry, which surprised and impressed me.

All of this minimizes one of the only downsides I have with these sheets.

The other downsides?

The rubber surface can be slippery, but that’s assumed from such a surface anyway, and these aren’t really ‘snuggle sheets’.

What do I mean by that?

Well, although these sheets are great for waterproof antics they are not the warm, fluffy, snuggle-worthy blanket of most people’s dreams: the kind that you wrap yourself up in after hard sex for a soft embrace.

But, being realistic here, any sheet that you’ve covered in fluid is probably not going to be the height of comfort afterwards. And, to be honest, I’ve yet to find a fluidproof sheet that is both efficient and the height of after-sex comfort. Sometimes life is a one-or-the-other kind of deal.

Final Thoughts

Overall, I am thrilled to bits with both these sheets and Sheets of San Francisco as a whole and highly recommend any of their products to interested individuals.

Sheets of San Francisco offer fitted sheets, patterned sheets, custom sheets, pillow cases, and now even special sheets to coat the Sybian with.

My airport adventures are testament to the extreme flexibility of the Sheets of San Francisco and I stand firm that these are the best fluidproof products on the market (waterproof sex toys excluded).

Recommend to:

People looking for fluidproof sheets.

People looking for lightweight sheets.

People looking for discrete sheets.

Do Not Recommend to:

People who like fluffy sheets.

People who want a smaller sheet.

People who dislike slippery sheets.

These sheets were provided to me by the Sheets of San Francisco in exchange for an honest review.