What kind of reviewer would I be after my last product review if I didn’t give you a viable alternative?
Probably still a pretty okay one but, by sheer happenstance, I was bestowed today with a chance to do just that.
Yesterday a very beautiful tester box arrived my way (the rest of the contents on hush-hush for now) and, as a little added freebie it seems the company chucked in a sample…a sample of the Aphrodisia Orgasm Enhancer Balm For Her.
Oh the adult product gods do spoil me so.
The Aphrodisia Orgasm Enhancer Balm For Her
From the moment I unveiled this sampler from its little crevice in the tester box I could tell it was the antithesis of the Viva Cream. At least in aesthetics and marketing.
Where the Viva Cream rocked the 90’s romance look with unfounded pride, Aphrodisia has gone for an elegant, modern packaging approach.
The sample flyer is almost all black, save for a close up shot of a blue orchid. The orchid is naturally associated regularly with female genitalia and pleasure – Georgia O’Keeffe being the most popular advocate of this visual connection. That’s one fun fact, my other is that most blue orchids are dyed, due to the rarity of true blue orchids. The more you know.
Unlike the Viva Cream, Aphrodisia doesn’t fuck about with flowery euphemisms either (in a bit of an ironic twist really).
Aphrodisia is described multiple times as an ‘orgasm enhancer balm’ and its methods of stimulation aren’t just left at ‘herbs’ with a guarantee of pleasure. Instead, the product description tells you directly:
Ginseng increases the microcirculation [of the clitoris] and argine heightens sensitivity to pressure and friction, intensifying your orgasms.
‘Intensifying your orgasms’.
See how easy it is Viva Cream?
I feel like a bit of a snippy teacher comparing the class book-worm to the unlikable dunce here, but I hope you understand my frustrations.
As one last point of note on the sample pack itself, when you open it up it actually unfolds into a pop up orchid, which is just a nice touch.
The actual packaging is also wonderfully elegant, though the orchid has been replaced for a single rose, indented in gold.
Each tube has 13ml in it, but this isn’t as skimpy as it sounds, because only a pea-sized amount is needed each time. This gets massaged in to the clitoris and comes in to full effect after 15 minutes.
By the product’s own estimations, Aphrodisia isn’t intended to create a tingle or change in temperature, preferring to rely on its two key ingredients.
The rest of this products ingredients are as follows:
Aqua, Ethylhexyl Cocoate, Caprylyc/Capryc Triglycerides, Glycerin, Arginine, Ceteareth-20, Cetearyl Alcohol, Glyceryl Stearate, C12-C15 Alkyl Benzoate, Sorbitol, Lactic Acid, Pfaffia Glomerata Root Juice, Arginine Pca, Panax Ginseng Root Extract, Hydroxyethylcellulose, Menthyl Lactate, Triethanolamine, Parfum, Carbomer, Phenoxyethanol, Benzyl Alcohol, Potassium Sorbate, Tocopherol, Sodium Benzoate, Sodium Saccharine, Disodium Edta, Butylphenyl Methylpropional, Alpha-Isomethyl Ionone, Hydroxyisohexyl 3-Cyclohexene Carboxaldehyde, Hydroxycitronellal, Benzyl Salycilate, Benzyl Cinnamate, Eugenol.
Notice – no parabens – and aqua is the primary ingredient instead of propylene glycol. I approve.
Menthyl is still present and this is noticeable in the product itself: It doesn’t necessarily feel cooling but it does have that almost zoom-in sensation that menthyl tends to cause.
No burning though. Not a single bit. Count me happy.
There is a lot of glycerin in this product, which can cause UTIs in some people depending on its source. But this glycerin is plant-based which isn’t typically as bothersome.
This balm is also sugar-free, gluten-free, cruelty-free and completely vegan, which gets two huge eco thumbs up from me.
Whereas the Viva Cream called itself a ‘cream’ but was actually a clear gel, Aphrodisia is actually a semi-thick white cream, similar in consistency to a daily moisturizer. It’s not too heavy but still feels like a soothing lotion and it spreads well.
The name ‘Aphrodisia’ in this instance does apply to a signature odour from the Bijoux Indiscrets range (of which this product is part of) but as this product is used in such a sparing amount this ylang-ylang based aroma really isn’t too bothersome at all for those who dislike fragrances.
Taste-wise it’s sweet, floral, and minty. Not necessarily the best in the world but not at all dreadful (and ironically my less tangy and chemical in taste than the Viva cream).
If you wanted to give oral after using this balm you will almost certainly be able to without recoiling at the taste. This is good, because I imagine it would feel great.
I only got 1ml in my sampler pack but it was enough to last for three satisfied sessions. I could easily feel my attentions when using this balm redirect to my clitoris – as if framing it with an ornate Italian frame from the Renaissance.
I savoured each moment when using this balm, noting that it didn’t exactly hasten my orgasm but did make stimulating my clit an augmented experience. And when this climax finally came I gasped out loud.
If anyone else was at home I would have potentially been concerned that they would detect my approval of this balm. As it stood I ended my first session with a happy sigh and actually napped from sexual satisfaction (also illness-based fatigue, because even sick people deserve orgasms).
As for downsides? I do worry that the extensive ingredients list might involve a component of two that some people’s skin might object to. But that’s really the only thing I can consider.
It washes off easily, leaves a nice after sensation, and allows you to get on with you day (or night) in easy satisfaction. Everything you’d want from a product like this.
If orgasm enhancement is what you seek, and you’re not fussy about temperatures or tingles, then this is the product for you.
I highly recommend this item and can’t believe the chuckle-worthy twist of fate that presented it to me in the here and now.
People who want an orgasm balm.
People who like creams.
Do Not Recommend to:
People who want tingles or temperature.
People wary of the ingredients.
People who dislike creams.
This product was a free sample that I voluntarily reviewed. Because how could I not?