Article: This Sex Is On Fire? (An Exploration In To Fire and Sex)

We all know the chorus. Many of us have probably sung it out loud after one too many, enthusiastically bellowing it at the top of our lungs:

WoOOOOoooAAAooOOOOH! This sex is on FIRE!

Followed, perhaps, by a joke about the lead singer of the Kings of Leon.

But, jokes aside, is there actually any validity to the link between flames and fucking?

The answer is, undoubtedly, yes. One need only think of iconic cinematic imagery – namely, seduction and sex by the fireplace – to know that this is the case.

Word of Mouth

Sex and the flame doesn’t stop there, though, and language is one way that we manifest our fascination with fire.

If someone is feeling passionate then then might be considered as having an ‘inner flame’.

When one is feeling particularly aroused then they may find their ‘loins burning’ (much as in the case of Zelda when considering the Vicar in Friends, to the point of parody).

An attractive person is ‘smoking hot’ and particularly decent posteriors get a mimed sizzle when in contact with a licked index finger applied in a sassy display.

Start looking for references to sex, fire, and heat, and you’d be surprised at just how much you find.

Bound For Life (Through Flame, Not Chain)

Fire also features in some sexually-inspired spiritual beliefs, and this is especially the case when it comes to believers of the ‘Twin Flame’ theory.

Twin flame relationships are incredibly deep and meaningful bonds between spiritually-minded believers that involve a relationship so intense that you can only ever have one twin flame partner.

Twin flame relationships (from what my research can ascertain) are driven by reincarnation theory.  The premise is that those who are most highly developed in their spiritual journey will eventually reincarnate in to two different bodies – their soul or spirit too complex for a single receptacle. The reincarnates souls are then destined to experience separate lives, gain new experiences and generally develop even further alone before eventually reuniting together when the time is right.

When the two parts of a twin flame pairing eventually meet the connection is meant to be apparent. The relationship will always be sexual and (as you might expect) very passionate and represents the union of two fully developed, independent individuals collaborating, spiritually, sexually, and socially to improve the world they then jointly share through their union.

As you can imagine, this theory is not for everyone and requires many different spiritual beliefs to unite (as well as people who share them).

In this way, when two people with these unlikely correlational beliefs do unite maybe it really is something to observe.

Witchcraft, Condemnation, and Domination

As I did research for this article (navigating the many, many Kings of Leon links that you get typing ‘sex’ and ‘fire’) I came across a person who had an intense and somewhat peculiar desire.

This gentleman had a persistent fantasy in which he was either burning at the stake or condemning someone to this fate – something which he found distressing, but which I find (pardon the pun) hot as hell.

As with any fetish involving violence, torture, or some other form of typically non-consensual action, this lovely gentleman felt worried about the ethical implications of his fascination, but, thankfully, he went to an understanding forum which reassured him (rightly so) that a sexual fantasy does not tarnish your personal character and that it can even be fun to fulfil if enacted in a safe, practical, and consensual manner.

For this scenario, for example, I bet there could be great success if one employed the use of a sauna or steam room, some rope, and a blindfold. The dialogue and dynamic between the sub and dom would take care of the rest and the rest.

And, for the record, if you have a similar fantasy, want to enact it, and have access to a sauna then I am single now.


This gentleman imagined that his fascination with burning was absolutely unacceptable and not at all shared by others, so imagine his surprise when given a link about pyrophilia.

Pyrophilia, as you might imagine, is a sexual fetish defined by sexual gratification from fire, fire-starting, and anything related to flames.

Pyrophilia itself can be harmless and very safely practiced. Off the top of my head I can think of multiple activities that might satisfy a pyrophilic individual:

-Lighting a massage candle, observing it, and then using it (taking pleasure in the result of the flames they produced).

-Heating a body-safe, heat-resistant sex toy (such as glass or metal), wiping it clean, and letting it cool to a body-acceptable temperature, before putting it to good use. (Please be super safe with this though).

-Holding a flame near various parts of a blindfolded person’s body parts and observing them squirm while either (or both) individuals speak of the experience.

-Lighting a controlled fire with an object of choice and watching it burn (essentially safely supervising it) while masturbating, gazing in to the destruction that the flames bring.

-Branding, practiced with restraint, after proper training and with good equipment.

Issues only emerge when pyrophilia combined with arson, self-harm, or other forms of toxic, non-consensual, or problematic actions. In such instances, it may be necessary to recognise that you need help and seek a professional, or otherwise leave your desires strictly in the mind.

Fantasy roleplay may be a good outlet, but if a person is convinced that they will only ever be sexually satisfied by experiencing ‘the real thing’ then this needs to be kept in check – for the person’s own safety in addition to the safety of others.

So, There You Have It!

Sex and fire: A burning desire. One that linguistically exists in most of us and can bring some people to extreme sexual or romantic delight in others.

Do you need to feel the flame in order to have a red-hot relationship? Certainly not. But there is something to be said about paying attention to the call of the element of passion and lust.