Article: Sexual Roleplay (A Primer)

I pour myself a drink from the pitcher I purchased at the bar, It’s sangria, I’m still rather sexually inexperienced and I’m sitting alone on a table in Majorca.

With full confidence, he approaches.

“That’s quite a lot of alcohol for a single lady”

“Perhaps, but I have quite the appetite for the things I like in life” I respond, nonchalantly.

He grins.

“Is sangria the only thing you like right now?” he asks with bold flirtation.

I smirk coyly and pat the chair next to me.

We’ve been dating for four years but, in that moment, we’ve just met and that night we’re going to fuck.

Sex and Roleplay

Say ‘roleplay’ and some people will be thinking of pencils, paper, and dice. Most people, however, will be thinking about sex.

At least that’s my experience; every time I’ve said to someone ‘oh I roleplay as a hobby’ in passing they typically respond with a cheeky grin and say ‘Well, I didn’t think you were that kind of person, but do tell what the nurses outfit is like’.

These people probably don’t know too much about me in the long run, but they do see to have an association between sex and roleplay and that’s what matters (plus the outfit is red, if you’re wondering, and from Ann Summers).

Roleplaying is a great way to add a little spice to a relationship when things are feeling a bit same-y or when you just want to explore different relationship dynamics and identities.

For a little while you can stop being yourself and start being a charming air hostess, a seductive super villain, or a single person at a bar.

Sexy roleplaying can be as tame or as ‘in-character’ as you want and thanks to the fantasy element the only real limits are what you and your partner/s are comfortable with and your imagination.

What Is Involved?

So, how does one do a sexual roleplay?

To be honest with you it’s pretty simple. Remember when you used to play cops & robbers or any other form of ‘make-believe’ game as a kid. It’s pretty much the same premise, except the end results are very much not safe for kids.

You could also think of it as being akin to taking up an acting role and playing out your character with your partner/s. You’re setting the scene and how it plays out depends on the improvised route that you take. As you do so you’ll probably be taking up your character’s mindset, thinking about how they might react, and may even find that you get caught in the moment more than once.

The really thrilling part of roleplaying is that, although you’re taking on a new role, you’re also very aware that it’s you and your partner/s playing a sexy game together that you’re both in on. This is especially exciting if you take your roleplay outside of the bedroom, as your interactions aren’t just restricted to each other and yet only you and your partner/s will know the truth. It’s kind of like wearing a vibrating egg or an anal toy except there’s no risk of anyone hearing your buzzing bits.

Some Suggested Roleplays

When it comes to sexy roleplays you really do get to set the roles and scenarios. Personally, Mr Peaches and I actually are tabletop roleplayers, so we will often use our own characters and put an erotic spin on things. Buuut if you’re a bit fresher to this whole ‘roleplay’ thing then here are some standard roleplaying scenarios that are often recommended:

The strangers in the bar.

The doctor and nurse.

The fire man/police officer and the person in help.

The teacher and student.

The boss and secretary.

The knight and person in distress.

The secret agent and their mark.

The stripper and their client.

The babysitter and the parent.

The superhero and the villain.

The farm aid and the resident.

Oh, and let us not forget the pizza delivery person and the household owner; that one is a classic.

As you’ve probably noticed, a lot of these have some sort of dominant and submissive dynamic going on, but there’s no reason as to why you have to feel restricted to any set roles. Sometimes it’s actually fun if you chose to defy expectations and try flipping the power dynamics in some way.

How Do I Get Started?

As with any new sexual activity, you may find that beginning a sexual roleplay is a daunting task at first. If you find this then I have a few useful tips for you.

The first is to have fun with it. Of course things are going to feel silly at first and of course there will be some chuckles and smirks, but that’s because what you’re doing is playful and thrilling and new. Embrace those feelings instead of trying to fight them an you may just find they’re an ally in your efforts.

It’s also very useful to have some sort of prop of focal point to help you keep your persona in mind. This may be as simple as a cup of coffee (made in a style you wouldn’t usually consider) or it may be as elaborate as an entirely new outfit (complete with props). The important thing is to be able to get ‘in the role’ so that you can use it to fuel your confidence and give you something to move forward with in times of uncertainty.

And, lastly, the biggest ally in your roleplay efforts will be your partner/s. You’re in this together, so keep that in mind, encourage each other, and work towards having a great time. Enjoy yourselves! After all, it’s not often you get to pretend to be someone else.