Product Review: The Lovehoney Oh! 30 Nights of Hot Sex Kinky Calendar

Every now and then Mr Peaches and I like to shake things up with a little sexy challenge, playful prompt, or similar inspiration point to see if we can learn something new about each other.

As part of this we’ve played some pretty interesting adult games, and have even entered in to some Fifty Shades challenges and, this time round, we decided to see what Lovehoney had to offer.

The Lovehoney Oh! 30 Nights of Hot Sex Kinky Calendar comes as part of their any 3 for £10 gifts offer, which pretty much null and voids its solo £9.99 price. I mean, c’mon, who is just going to buy this when you can also buy a stroker and some lubricant, some sexy lingerie and some massage oil, or a blindfold and a feather tickler? The combination of options you can get from Lovehoney for £10 is admittedly impressive, but is this a worthy addition?

It really depends on what you want from your producr.

The Lovehoney Oh! 30 Nights of Hot Sex Kinky Calendar

The Lovehoney Oh! 30 Nights of Hot Sex Kinky Calendar offers up 30 different suggestion for couples, varying from some rather tame ones so some pretty exciting additions.

Think of it like a kinky advent calendar, except this one can be used any time of the year. It doesn’t even need to start at the beginning of the month. Your Day 1 is your Day 1, regardless of where it lies on other people’s calendars, and as soon as you start it you have 30 days of fun (give or take, but more on that later).

The calendar itself is sturdy and easy to prop up on a bedside table or a similar space. It can also be closed up and tucked away, though this can be difficult depending on how many slots you have opened up. The slots themselves are very reminiscent of an advent calendar with one exception—there’s no clear tag section to help you lift it up, making it even more fiddly than the yearly Christmas annoyance of having to work to get to your chocolate (I’m a full-grown adult, I want my candy without effort, god dammit!)

This fiddly process meant I actually couldn’t open half the sections myself, and fiddling to try and prize open your daily treat is hardly an appealing look, but I digress.

Once you get in to the section you are given a daily challenge, which dictates your sexy activity for the day.

The font used for each of the calendar sections is a similar sans-based text which is easy to distinguish and read, although if you struggle with size 12 font or smaller then you might find it a bit of a strain on the eyes without glasses.

And, I have to be honest, the quality of these tasks can vary heavily. Taking turns to play ‘sexy Truth or Dare’ is a fun one; it allows people to get to know each other in a playful and meaningful way. But a lot of the options involve having to be blindfolded, lick each other, or get in to a very specific sex position (such as on top or doggy).

The suggestions can be rather fun.

I get the motivations behind this—and, to some degree, if you get a sexy challenge product you should be up for…well, a ‘challenge’—but many of these options don’t seem broad enough to consider individuals with mental or physical obstacles that may make certain suggestions utterly undesirable.

If you have a thing about being licked or having your partner’s tongue on your body (and, yes, I do) then you’ve eliminated six days. SIX! That’s a lot!

But, credit where it’s due, Lovehoney do also make considerations in quite a few of the nights—my favourite example being one where they suggest that you do what your partner tells you to ‘as closely as you feel comfortably with’. Yes to that.

There are also a few times where they will say ‘if you can’t do this’, or something similar, and then offer an alternative, although, ultimately the main task of the day still has to be undertaken.

There are certainly enough challenges and suggestions to keep most people entertained with this item, but I highly doubt that 100% of users will find that they want to carry out each and every challenge, and some (such as themselves) might find themselves incapable of completing certain challenges.

And, let me tell you; there’s almost always a little twinge of guilt or regret at having to refuse a challenge (especially one you volunteered to be part of) and I’m not too sure how to feel about that.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, Lovehoney are not saying that you absolutely must complete every day, and their language is often understanding, but the activities themselves are often either uninspired, predictable, or just downright impractical, making it hard to endorse in isolation.

As part of the buy 3 for £10 offer? Yeah, I could see how this calendar might be able to provide a good bit of fun for some individuals, especially if your typical sexual activity is what you might consider as ‘vanilla’ or just in need of a gentle prodding.

But most explorative couples will probably either find that they’ve A) Been there, done that. B) Been given something so tame that it just leaves them feeling deflated. Or, C) Been given a task that they’ve already categorised in to their ‘no’ category of play.

Overall, I don’t feel like I really got my money from this product, but that’s only because I’ve had access to other (more expensive) adult novelty products of a similar kind. For the price, I really can’t fault the Lovehoney Oh! 30 Nights of Hot Sex Kinky Calendar too much.

Recommend to:

People who have never done a sex challenge before.

People who consider themselves as ‘vanilla’.

People who like stuff with their tongue (seriously).

Do Not Recommend to:

People who have done sex games/challenges before.

People uninterested in the 3 for £10 deal.

People who dislike certain common sex acts.