Article: The Best Tea For The Job

I don’t think it could escape anyone’s notice that I do love myself a good cuppa.

Fuelling my Peachy creativity. #PoweredByTea

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When in a person’s house the question ‘Any drinks?’ is always met with ‘Tea please, black, no sugar, whatever you have’.

If it’s an Earl Grey or similar breakfast brew I’m content, will keep the tea bag in the cup and will refill it about three times in the span of about 45 minutes at maximum. If they have a variety of teas (a varie-tea, if you will) then my eyes immediately widen and I eagerly ask to see their collection as I swoon at the prospect of finding a kindred spirit.

I personally have an entire cupboard dedicated to different kinds of tea an it’s currently too full to accommodate the extra tea that is sitting atop my fridge and by the side of my kettle.

I take teabags with me on the go in a cute little bag that Theia made me, and I always carry a portable cup with me. I’ve found that if you’re polite most people will fill a portable cup with hot water for you so that you can have tea of your choice for any occasion if desired (and how nice that people are so generous).

My tea treat for today. (It came with chocolate too!) @chococochocolates #Vegan #FuelledByTea

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And my personal fascination extends to the bedroom too. So here we are, talking about tea and sex.

Tea and Sex

Surely, I’m not the only one who thinks that, after an intimate and gratifying sex session, few things are as good as heading downstairs, putting on the kettle and prepping a nice post-fuck brew.

Sure, water and similarly quick-gulp fluids might be useful during and immediately after sex, but tea is a contemplative drink. As it cools to an acceptable degree, and steams merrily away its natural aesthetics are perfect to focus on and just drift through various mental processes as you take in the revelry of your recent encounter.

First date with my new partner 💞💖 #Polyamory #PolyPartner

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Tea can also be great for holding close as you snuggle up together—its warmth complementing the feeling of closeness that you may hold together.

That time as the tea cools is also a natural conversation prompt. As you place that tea down and return to you lover/s it’s the perfect time not just to go inwards but also to express those thoughts and see where your partner/s might be in terms of mental clarity, physical capability, and emotional well-being. All of this, and more, can come to the surface as your brew reaches the point of perfection as you then calmly sip in to it as if part of an extended oral ritual of post-sex aftercare.

In short, tea is great.

I’m also a strong believer that the right tea is needed for the right job. If you’ve just had a quick fuck, chances are that you’re not wanting to be presented with a meticulously hand sewn jasmine flower tea that will slowly unfurl its leaves over time in its clear glass teapot.

Beautiful as such a display is, you’ve got lube to wipe off your genitals before meeting Larry and Barry for a business meeting in 15 minutes and that flower has suddenly become a blooming inconvenience rather than a focal point of blossoming bliss. Just as one example.

So here are a few of my best tea suggestions for a variety of post-sex occasions. Whether you’re a quick-sex pro, a high-class Domme, or a weekend dogger, I have sampled a tea for you and I am here to give my someone tea-crazed recommendations.

The Ever-Loved Quickie

Quickies are supposed to be just that—quick—and are usually proceeded by a quick shower and dash out of the room.

In such situations, you have two options in terms of prepping your brew. Either you’ll want to put the kettle on pre-fuck and then pour out the drink immediately after or you’ll want to pop the kettle on during the post-sex clean up and go from there.

The choice is yours and really depends on how speedy your clean-up is and how hot you like your drink.

As for the tea of choice, something naturally caffeinated or ginger-based will be a good bet for you. A chai is also an absolutely ace option. Its spicy Aryuvedic properties will leave your fired up for whatever comes next and ready to continue with your day.

If you need a little extra kick add some fresh lemon or a form of sweetner to your drink. I recommend agave nectar, but that’s the vegan in me talking. (Speaking of which, have you entered my vegan giveaway yet?)

Oh, and you may also want a takeaway cup if you’re in a real hurry.

The Dogger in the Park

No matter what your dynamic when it comes to dogging, a flask is most likely your best bet for keeping a nice, portable brew to hand. Yes, there are some kettle options available to you, but there’s something about the dogging atmosphere that just lends itself readily to a flask.

Cinnamon-based teas are nice option for dogging. I’m also partial to recommending a wild berry mixture to really emphasize that reconnection with the great outdoors, as it were. After all, isn’t the whole affair a little bit wild? (For all the right reasons, of course).

The BDSM Beasts

For BDSM I always recommend that you avoid anything too hot, too dainty (in terms of small handles or delicate china), and make sure that there is a clear and stable area to place down your tea.

BDSM can be intense for everyone involved, and tea works best as a soothing part of the aftercare process.

Chamomile is a nice go-to when it comes to settling down after an intense scene. It’s naturally calming and will allow everyone involve to ground themselves.

If you’re not a fan of chamomile then a mint tea is a nice alternative. Mint teas also settle the stomach, which might be required if butterflies were racing during the scene.

Mint is also just a really nice scent to have fill the room in any instance, peppermint in particular, although I might be biased (mint is my go-to tea of choice).

The Intimate Night In

If you’re planning on spending a long and cozy night in together then, chances are, you’re hoping that tea will calm you down but also settle you in for the evening.

Want a bit of a tea loophole? Cocoa nibs. They’re amazing for making a nice (and low cal) chocolate tea which can substitute the heavy indulgence of a hot chocolate.

Similarly, nice is an Assam or (if you’re in to smoky tones) a Lapsang Souchong. Fair warning: That latter option will not be for everyone.

The Post-Romance Delight

Having a romantic evening in together? This is where the jasmine flower tea comes in.

For a relatively affordable price you can get a glass teapot that will allow you to display these little baubles of leaves and floral arrangements with relative ease.

Jasmine is also quite a light tea that appeals to most palettes and won’t overpower many people.

Sure, this is a bit more extravagant than some tea exchanges, but you are going for romance here. Why not bring in some flowers?

That being said, if Jasmine is not your style, then my alternative to you is a combination of berries and spices reminiscent of a mulled wine. Such combinations are readily available in December (usually as a Christmas blend) and tend to have slight fun variations.

Oh, and rosehip tea is also an option, as is lovely if you ask me.

The One Night Stand

With a one night stand you don’t want them to get the impression that you’re too vested in their long-term tea options, but neither do you want to present yourself as a tea philistine. I mean we do have standards after all.

Probably best to avoid any loose-leaf options, and don’t go for any fancy cup arrangements, but do make it clear that you value the quality of the teabag you select.

Have on hand, ready for most people’s preferences, the following tea bags from a reliable brand: Breakfast Tea, Mixed Berry Tea, Peppermint Tea, Lemon and Ginger, Chamomile, and Chai.

These are the standard options that most coffee shops will now stock and thus what most people will be familiar with and will therefore be what they’re likely to request and be easily familiar with.

As tea choices go they’re straightforward, enjoyable, and get the job done. Much like the encounter itself.

The Intellectual Exchangers

So you’ve just had sex and now you want to spend the rest of the night in a deep philosophical exchange or considering the current political climate, or the recent stunning publication from Andre Alexis (look him up, please).

For this you’ll want to get out your tea pot, get out a pack of loose leaf tea and prepare for multiple pours and teafills (tea refills) along the way.

I propose Oolong or Rooibos but that’s because I’m a bit of a cliché when it comes to conversation tea. Equally invigorating is a quirky brew such as a Japanese inspired popcorn breakfast tea, or a pure blend of nettles.

Nettle tea is so comforting but not too sleep-inducing, making it great for those late-night conversations. It is, in many ways, ideal.

The Classic Brit

Aaaaand, finally, if you’re like the majority of Brits I really don’t have to say anything, do I? Milk, tea, sugar. A variation of this is a mug. The only real debates are the strength of the brew and whether the milk goes in before or after, and heaven help you if you’re incompatible on the latter.

Aaaaand That’s All For Now

I could list of a fair few different variations. I’ve already got combinations in mind for different types of Dom/Sub and different sex positions, etc. But, for now, I think I’ll leave my crazy tea lady musings where they are.

Have a lovely evening y’all. I’m ending mine with a chocolate mint tea. Because I can.

Until the next review,