Three years ago, I reviewed the Eroscillator—the then giant of the sex toy industry. For many it still is; the Eroscillator wows, with minimal effort, many of the individuals that try it. It is, in some ways, the original sex toy innovator—using oscillation instead of the more popular vibrations—and, as a result, left many people’s genitals purring at the variation that was presented to it.
And then there was the Soft Finger. Oh! The Soft Finger! An attachment that took the Eroscillator from gentle sigh of delight to an extreme squeal of excitement for seemingly all those who felt its squish.
And then there was me, a relatively new reviewer at the time, sat there just not getting it.
For me the Eroscillator was just too subtle too…tame for my liking. I described it as a ninja whereas I preferred what, in 2014, I quite happily described as ‘a pirate’. Guess the whole ninjas vs. pirates phase of the internet must have been in full swing at the time.
But now here I am, three years later from that initial admittance of ‘I don’t get it’ to declare that in the here and now…I still don’t get it.
The Eroscillator 2 Top Deluxe Set With Soft Finger Combo
It was always my ambition to revisit the Eroscillator for review. I even said as much in my first attempt at tackling this toy, concluding:
I’m not ready to give up on the Eroscillator just yet I plan to do a follow-up review in the future. But, for now, while I know of the wonders of this toy from others I have sadly yet to experience them myself.
Look at the hope in little Em’s writing; her extreme hope that one day she would be able to bond with the Eroscillator on some new and loving level. I remember those feelings and my deep desire to one day be able to run back to you guys and be like ‘I get it now! Guys! My clit finally understands!’
But my clit has never understood the Eroscillator and now I’ve come to accept that this truth is okay.
What can I say for the Eroscillator? It’s incredibly popular, and for good reason.
This toy has a track record that is similar in my mind to the Womanizer and Satisfyer lines today. It was the original ‘Okay, you may not believe this, but this toy is actually friggin fantastic’. It defined an entire wave of pleasure for so many individuals, and it still does.
Never judge a book by its cover. The Eroscillator may look like a supped up electronic toothbrush but this ugly duckling is a glorious swan of orgasmic grace (although, granted, it’s now had a colour change that has made some people less withdrawn by its aesthetics).
The Eroscillator only has three speeds but those three speeds work on oscillation rather than vibration, which resonates in a much more profound way for many users. Without feeling too strong, abrasive, or even necessarily rumbly, it seems to bring a level of depth that just hits that perfect note for so many different bodies.
It’s not a quick orgasm for everyone, but it has been repeatedly reported as a reliable producer of extremely satisfying results. Truth be told, it rarely fails.
And, yes, that did lead me to feel that (when faced with the immense reputation of this toy) my body was the failing factor for not reacting in the same way, but that’s a point for later.
In terms of size the Eroscillator is 8 inches long and comes with attachments that range from 2-3 inches. At first I struggled with the attachments and, at times, I still do but for the most part they’re pretty self-explanatory.
My favorite Eroscillator attachments have consistently remained the Grapes and Cockscomb Head and the French Legionnaire’s Moustache, which do bring me a lovely degree of pleasure, but not always a climax.
But if you’re like the majority of users then you’ll want to try the Ultra Soft Finger Tip, which is a must have by so many people’s recommendations. I’ll admit, I expected this attachment to have a softer, semi-matte surface to it, but it’s much glossier and only semi-pillowy than my expectations factored for. Still, it is squishy enough to sit gently on the clitoris and its smush-like softness seems to transfer the oscillations of the Eroscillator in such a manner that it gives them a deft appeal for almost all clit-bearing individuals.
And then there’s me.
I’ve made no qualms by now about the fact that the Eroscillator just doesn’t work for me and I can now confidently maintain that. The more I tried to persist with it the less pleasure I got over time. Using it became first a despairing chore tinge with hope and then soon became a jaded reprise of ‘fuck it, why not?’ from time-to-time. Every time the Eroscillator disappointed me and there was nothing left to conclude except that, for me, it’s almost completely ineffectual.
For my clit the Eroscillator might as well be a budget bullet vibe for the amount of pleasure it conveys for me. Yes, this is a shame. And, yes, it goes against what most people will experience (which may even include you), but I now have no problem with admitting that the Eroscillator doesn’t work for me.
Why? Because I’ve seen the trend of suction-based toys causing near-instant and intense orgasms for so many people (myself included) and then heard the stories of people who have tried them, just not had the same experience, and wondered and worried ‘Is it me?’ to which I say ‘Fuck no’.
If a toy doesn’t work for you then it doesn’t work for you. Sure, it may be incredibly disappointing, but that incompatibility is no fault of your own and you shouldn’t internalize that mismatch of sensation and your unique bodily needs.
I say this because I’m guilty of it. I was with the Eroscillator, and now I’m here to say that it’s okay to acknowledge that a toy doesn’t work for you without feeling pressured to apologize, justify the difference, or maybe even hope that things will change with time. Pleasure peer pressure is real (deliberate or not), but you don’t have to become a victim of it.
Personal reassurances aside, the Eroscillator is mains powered (which may be off-putting in our cord-free, USB rechargeable times) is not waterproof and lacks anything resembling a pattern. Outside of the Soft Finger, its attachments are mostly firm, and this won’t mesh well with all users. Its material isn’t as easy to identify as one might hope and I personally find its attachment section to be a bit finicky to clean. Its function is most clearly geared towards the vulva, and it’s hard to justify its price tag given all of these factors and the variety of other high performing toys on the market nowadays.
I would never discourage anyone from buying the Eroscillator, given its recognised greatness, but I do think that knowing these cons can help balance out people’s expectations when considering the contemporary adult product market and the Eroscillator’s place in it.
The Eroscillator is a great toy.
Not just ‘great’ in terms of ‘awesome’ but also ‘great’ in that is has a sense of renown and gravitas that is just incontestable among anyone in the adult community.
I don’t even get along with the Eroscillator and I still give it a nod of respect and a fair endorsement for what it has provided so many users with.
This is a toy that incontestably gets shit done, but not always and that it important to acknowledge.
Can I recommend the Eroscillator? From a professional standpoint, yes. Definitely. I know a good toy from experience. But can I recommend it from a personal stance? The answer is still yes, but there’s a lot more hesitancy there.
At the end of the day, I hold praise of the Eroscillator at a reasonable distance and use it as my own reminder that no toy is perfect (and that there are no exceptions to this rule).
There would have been a time where I would promise another follow-up of the Eroscillator, still hoping for a change. Instead I now feel confident enough to draw my line in the sand. I am not a fan of the Eroscillator, and that’s okay.
People who like oscillations.
People who like deep sensations.
People who aren’t huge rumble fans.
Do Not Recommend to:
People who prefer vibrations.
People who like softer silicone.
People who like waterproof/rechargeable toys.
The Eroscillator was provided to me by Eroscillator many moons back in exchange for an honest review. I hope you have all enjoyed this trip down memory lane.