Product Review: The Lovehoney Fresh Biodegradable Sex Toy Body Wipes

I’m a hedgehog owner and this means quite a few things.

The most prominent of these things is that I have two adorable little balls of quills in my life that are full of character and cheek. Buuuut it also means my house is basically full of wet wipes.

Why? Because hedgehogs poo. A lot.

Meet Tali. #APH #AfricanPygmyHedgehog

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If you ever think of getting a hedgehog be prepared for this, because you will, inevitably, have to deal with a multitude of ‘whoopsies’ throughout their lifetime. Ah, the joys of pet ownership.

But this does also mean that I also have a rather convenient way to wipe down toys, or myself, during amorous moments. And, let me tell you, sometimes wet wipes can be an absolute lifesaver to have to hand in a sexual context.

Many companies share this sentiment, too, and the result is a lot of brand and adult-specific body wipes that are specifically designed for erotic usages. The Lovehoney Fresh Biodegradable Sex Toy Body Wipes, are one such example.

But what are the perks of getting adult body wipes compared to wet wipes? Is there anything that gives the Lovehoney Fresh Biodegradable Sex Toy Body Wipes that ‘wow factor’ to make them worth their £6.99 price tag? Let’s find out together!

Lovehoney Fresh Biodegradable Sex Toy Body Wipes

The Lovehoney Fresh Biodegradable Sex Toy Body Wipes are made specifically for sexual activities, and anything leading up to them. To quote Lovehoney directly ‘Whether you’re having fun at home or enjoying a romantic time away, keep a packet of our sex toy and body wipes to hand for quick and easy cleaning of both you and your favorite pleasure accessories’.

Wipes for intimate activities sound like a good idea, but are they?

There are 25 individual wipes in the pack, which means at maximum you get 25 different play sessions out of these wipes, though potentially less if you use (or need) multiple wipes per play session.

As you can tell, Lovehoney has travel in mind when it comes to these wipes, and so the packet they come in is quite compact and could very easily slip in to someone’s hand luggage or even the average handbag. Considering these wipes have somewhat of an eco-angle (being biodegradable and all) I actually really appreciated the compact nature of the packaging. Less size for packaging means less waste at the end of the day, and I am A-okay with that, especially considering that so many wet wipes tend to use an excess amount of plastic for their packaging. I do understand that this won’t be crucial for everyone though, so it’s more a nice perk than an essential part of this product.

Equally insignificant, but a nice touch, is the design of the Lovehoney Fresh Biodegradable Sex Toy Body Wipes’ packaging. With circular shapes of green and lemon, the Lovehoney Fresh Biodegradable Sex Toy Body Wipes’ packaging evokes a feeling of citrus freshness and cleanliness.

Having said that, this packaging is hardly discreet—stating its purpose right on the package—so it really depends on what you’re wanting in your body wipes. If stealthy sex is an absolute must then wet wipes are the better option for you, but if you don’t give a fuck about who knows that you fuck then this packaging may actually add a bit of an aesthetic punch to your bedroom. But now on to the important specs.

The Lovehoney Fresh Biodegradable Sex Toy Body Wipes are paraben-free, include aloe vera extract for a nourishing effect on the skin, and are completely biodegradable. This allows you to enjoy the benefits of these body wipes without worrying about leaving a huge trail of waste for the environment.

That being said, you’ll still want to avoid flushing these wipes down the toilet at all costs. Much as with any wet wipe, these wipes are not intended to be flushed and continual disposal of wet wipes down a toilet almost inevitably leads to a very huge plumbing bill down the line.

The ingredients of the Lovehoney Fresh Biodegradable Sex Toy Body Wipes are as follows:

Aqua (Water), Propylene Glycol, Benzoic Acid, Phenoxyethanol, Aloe barbandensis leaf extract, Hamamelis Virginiana Leaf Extract, Sodium Citrate, Citric Acid.

For the most part, this ingredients list is standard and, actually, rather good. However, if you know you have negative reactions to propylene glycol or any ethanol-based products then these wipes may have a negative reaction with you, especially when used on the genitals.

Our sticker-based seal broke upon opening and was basically useless thereafter.

The pack that these wipes come in is ‘resealable’ but I often find that sticker-based seals of wipe packages almost inevitably lose their stickiness over time, and the Lovehoney Fresh Biodegradable Sex Toy Body Wipes are no exception. This means that these wipes provide a lacklustre approach to preserving the moistness of the wipes you’re about to pull from the package but this isn’t a flaw specific to Lovehoney. What makes it more of an issue, though, is that there are only 25 wipes and this package costs £6.99.

Okay, I have to address this: £6.99 for a package of wet wipes? Really? Sure, it doesn’t sound too bad when you break it down to roughly 28p per wipe, but it sounds a lot worst when you consider that I can get a pack of 72 biodegradable, paraben, fragrance & alcohol-free, organically certified wet wipes for £3.05.

Yeah.

The reality is, when compared to your standard pack of wet wipes the Lovehoney Fresh Biodegradable Sex Toy Body Wipes aren’t just performing almost the exact same job, but they’re also ridiculously overpriced in comparison.

Literally, the only reason I can imagine for wanting to buy these wipes over a vastly more affordable pack of normal wet wipes is that you really need its compact size (or are brand-loyal). Even then, though, you could probably find a mini wet wipe pack with a cheaper price tag.

Performance-wise these wipes were okay. Not brilliant, just okay. They had a reasonable amount of moisture to them, but I have used wetter wet wipes in my time and I was always dubious that the Lovehoney Fresh Biodegradable Sex Toy Body Wipes were doing a thorough job.

This became particularly apparent when it came to lube-heavy sessions where not only did I have to use multiple wipes but I also didn’t feel 100% confident of my toy’s cleanliness come the end of my scrubbing session.

So, yes, not ideal.

Final Thoughts

I suppose the overall takeaway from this review is this: Just because something is branded for a specific use doesn’t mean it will always be the best, or most affordable, product for the job. In fact, brand and purpose-specific items are oft to ramp up the price in an attempt to monopolize on their purpose-specific pitch.

Lovehoney are great but, in this case, I feel rather irked by these adult wipes (and most branded ‘adult’ wipes, to be honest). This is only intensified by the mediocre job that these wipes did compared to my hedgie wet wipes, too.

Overall, I’m left feeling jaded by these wipes and their price tag per quantity really doesn’t help the cynical vibe that they exude.

What a shame.

Recommend to:

People who need travel compact wipes.

People who use the 3 for £10 offer (still expensive).

People with brand loyalty.

Do Not Recommend to:

People who see these wipes as cynical.

People who have ethanol/propylene glycol reactions.

People who want to save cash.