When I was a very young teen my parents went on holiday to Amsterdam.
My mum may have her own issues when it comes to sex and sexual expression, but neither herself nor my dad never shied away from discussing sex if I asked questions, and they would happily have the really adult novelty gimmick items around and about the house as ‘a bit of a laugh’ (think breast stress balls, or gummy dicks).
So when my parents went to Amsterdam I knew I was in for something good.
Young and Naïve
I’ll hold my hands up right now and admit to being a naïve young adult when it came to sex too. Yes, I could ask questions, but I often didn’t. I masturbated, but I had no clue. When my friends would say so-called ‘dirty’ words to me and ask if I knew what they meant I would casually flip my hair like a clichéd secondary school girl and be like “I mean, yeah…obviously I do” and just pray to god that they didn’t probe deeper than that.
My point being that although I had access to some information about sex it still remained a mystery to me—a deeply mysterious and very thrilling aspect of life that I felt mildly acquainted with, but had no true understanding of.
So, yes, I giggled with dorky delight when, upon return, my parents asked me to close my eyes, reached in to their luggage, and produced a cock-wielding bunny plush for me.
The Bunny With A Cock
I absolutely adored that rabbit. My parents laughed their heads of at my enthusiasm but I couldn’t help it—the combination of innocence, clearly adult content, and permission to own such a thing (under the guise of it ‘just being for laughs’) was endlessly compelling for me.
I named him Moby Dick.
I brought him a little bunny t-shirt for his little bunny body. And, yes, I made sure his sizeable shaft was always on display.
Then one day my parents took me to Amsterdam with me and guided me through various sex museums and adult shops (again, with humor in mind). At the time I had a few goals in mind for the trip.
The first was to acquaint myself with the finer details of Van Gogh’s oeuvre, in order to finalize the details of my end-of-year project and create a succinct and well-informed comparison to the works of Egon Schiele.
The second big goal of mine was to amass more cock bunnies.
And I did just that—buying myself yet another bunny and even a teddy bear companion. But it just wasn’t the same. These items, purchased by myself and essentially replicas of my beloved Moby Dick, were hollow imitations of their mighty counterpart.
Without the thrill of the gift and the somewhat racy element these doppelgangers had all the dick they required, but they lacked the heart.
Eventually I sadly lost Moby Dick during a move and it’s something I’ve always lamented.
Sometimes I wonder what happened to my beloved bun-bun. Sometimes I share similar parody plush toys, expressing my enthusiasm for them. And one time—just once—a company paid attention to me and made all my cock-bunny dreams come true.
The Naughty Meo Bunny
The Naughty Meo Bunny is Meo’s own take on a cuddly toy with a cock and when Meo surprised me with my very own Naughty Meo Bunny I was suddenly presented with that light-hearted joy and genuine rush of ‘naughtiness’ that I had felt so long ago.
— Emmeline Peaches (@EmmelinePeaches) February 7, 2017
Larger than my cherished Moby Dick, the Naughty Meo Bunny comes in at 20cm—larger than a beanie baby and more on par with your standard plushie.
The Naughty Meo Bunny is described as the ‘perfect bedtime buddy’ and I can’t really argue with this appraisal (unless the alternative is, y’know, an actual rabbit toy, in which case others might consider it a tie).
Not only is the Naughty Meo Bunny well-proportioned for a snuggly cuddle but it’s also made from a 100% polyester material which mimics the feeling of Minky fabric. This makes its candy pink fur amazingly soft to the touch and perfect for stroking against the skin. Nose-nuzzling with the Naughty Meo Bunny is almost intuitive and, although its nose is made from a much firmer material it is shaped like a love-heart, so there’s that.
Whereas good ol’ Moby needed to be accessorized, the Naughty Meo Bunny comes pre-fitted with its own novelty t-shirt—adding to the tongue-in-cheek nature of this toy. The Naughty Meo Bunny’s t-shirt declares ‘I love porna’ with brilliant and bold pride. This is accentuated by the Naughty Meo Bunny’s own smiling expression, which seems deviously coy in nature.
It’s eyelids give it a somewhat mellow expression, as if it doesn’t have a care nor concern in the world—despite essentially rocking out with its cock out.
This I love.
It’s essentially as if the designers of the Naughty Meo Bunny were aware that it was a novelty, aware that the joke came from its ample ‘third-leg’ but wanted to normalize the experience to some degree by giving the Naughty Meo Bunny such a chill expression. This bunny also sports a full bush, adding a nice attention to detail.
Let’s be frank here for a moment, though—this product isn’t meant to be taken seriously. Not one bit. It is the very definition of a ‘novelty’ adult product and its strength comes in approaching it as such.
Would I ever use my new bunny as a sex toy? Perhaps rubbing against it? Maybe even slipping a vibe beneath its shirt and seeing where my mood takes me?
Don’t get me wrong—there’s a definite appeal to plushie-lovin’ and this bunny will fit into that sub-genre of attraction for some, but I’ve very rarely felt the personal desire to mount my own cuddly toys.
Instead the relationship with my Naughty Meo Bunny is platonic and wonderfully positive. Put simply the Naughty Meo Bunny brings a smile to my face and reminds me of the joy, wit, and sincerely playful aspects of sex and sexuality.
Simply owning this toy makes me happy. It’s great for a joke, looks brilliant in photographs (expect to see it in future sex toy reviews), and it acts as a genuine conversation starter. My bun-bun ever shares my enthusiasm for porn, and happily represents that appreciation for both of us.
When I think of my new bunny I think of all the best aspects of sex and it brings a huge smile to my face, and sometimes reconnecting with this ‘novelty-factor’ is just as important as purchasing a practical adult product.
Overall I highly recommend the Naughty Meo Bunny and think that it is a brilliant tongue-in-cheek offering that will appeal to many individuals.
Perhaps the best way to receive one of these amazing plushies is as a gift, so consider buying the Naughty Meo Bunny for the sex geek/s in your life. It’s in those moments of humorous gift-giving that the real vibrancy of such products comes to the foreground.
May anyone who is now lusting after this amazing cuddly toy be gifted one yourself. Y’all deserve it.
Now just one question remains: What should I name this legendary Leporidae?
People who mix sex with humor.
People who appreciate crude cuddly toys.
Do Not Recommend to:
People who dislike pink.
People who may find this offensive.
People who would rather have a vulva plush instead.