Interview: Fuck Machine Ian Of Fucking Machine Fun

Hello my lovely readers!

Today I have the utmost honor to present you with an interview from one of my favorite adult sites. What makes them so special? Well, unlike most adult retailers, this particular site specializes in rentals (and, no, we’re not talking DVDs here). 

Blockbuster may have had its heyday but rental services still have a place in the world, especially when fucking machines are involved. That’s where Fuck Machine Ian comes along.

The man. The myth. The legend. (Just kidding: Fuck machine Ian is very real and *very* awesome)

Founder of Fucking Machine Fun (along with his delightful partner) Fuck Machine Ian gives people the opportunity to try iconic sex machines such as the Sybian with their partner without having to save up for years. It’s hard to justify a £1.5k plus sex toy purchase, but a rental? You deserve it!

So what goes on behind-the-scenes of Fucking Machine Fun? Read on as I get the inside scoop firsthand. 


So glad to have you talking on my site and thank you for agreeing to this interview!

Before we go any further perhaps you could explain your services to those not in the know? A fucking machine rental service sounds almost too good to be true after all!

It is a rather unusual service I must admit. What we offer in a nutshell is the ability for people to satisfy their fantasies and to try something new and unusual. We provide top of the range sex machines in a very cost effective manner. Why spend hundreds if not thousands of pounds on something you may not like? Our customers can try the legendary Sybian together with the Venus and the F-Machine Pro without breaking the bank. We focus on discretion and of course hygiene. Our machines arrived in padlocked metal transit cases that carry no indication as to their contents and they are delivered and collected again by a mainstream courier.

Fucking Machine Fun’s services are highly professional and very straightforward.

On your About Us page it says that Fucking Machines were a shared interest with yourself and your wife. How did that interest first emerge? Was it something you were open about from the get-go or did the conversation come up at a later date?

You have to be pretty kinky to come up with a concept like this. We started using fucking machines to augment our lovemaking a few years ago as they open up all sorts of fantasies and opportunities. It was something that we both were interested in and we have never looked back. It was the incredible cost of the machines that made us come up with the idea of renting machines out so that more people can enjoy this kinky activity without breaking the bank.

What advice would you give someone who was planning to treat their partner with a Fucking Machine rental?

Go for it and don’t be afraid to get in touch with us for some straight-forward advice.

Fucking machines can look intimidating to someone new to them but they really aren’t. If you enjoy playing with dildos just think of it as a way of playing hands-free. You control the machine (unless you hand the controls to a trusted partner) and the machines can be incredibly gentle or you can dial up the action to four thrusts a second which is pretty amazing.

The biggest piece of advice that I can give though and this is especially important for the Sybian is start off slowly and build up the speed as you warm up and relax. Don’t be tempted to start off at full speed as it could be too much to take, slowly build up the speed and you will reap the rewards.

You rent out Sybians (which definitely get my seal of approval). Without naming names, what is the most interesting piece of feedback you’ve received on this iconic piece of sex toy kit?

We are particularly proud of this one:

So… can I recommend the Sybian to all you ladies out there? Hell YES YES YES…. Give it a try. It’s like the strongest vibrator you’ll ever know and opening your legs wide to squat onto it is as erotic a sight as your partners are ever going to see. I was glad that the attachments (for hygiene reasons) are all non-returnable because mine were so wet they will take weeks to properly dry.

Cleanliness and Hygiene are clearly priorities of yours. What advice would you give clients for keeping their own Fucking Machines squeaky clean?

Fucking Machines like any other sex toy need to be kept clean and ready for fun. I would recommend investing in some Chemgene HLD4H wipes, this is a Medical High Level Disinfectant intended for cleansing and disinfecting of hard surfaces. It is a Bactericidal, Virucidal, Fungicidal and Sporicidal disinfectant. They are great for cleaning hard surfaces on a machine and you can get some from eBay.

Pay particular attention to the thrust rod and dildo adaptor and don’t forget the controls as these areas are very likely to get body fluids on them when you play. Treat bearing surfaces with a little grease as this will prolong the bearings life.

It doesn’t take too long to clean a machine and don’t forget to use a good quality sex toy cleaner on your dildo as well. Keep your toys and machines clean and ready to use so that when the mood strikes you can let your hair down and just enjoy the moment.

In addition to sex toys you stock artisan sex toys from companies such as Godemiche and Hole Punch Toys (two of my favourite dildo makers, I have to say). What inspired this decision? Is collaboration in the adult industry something you value?

We are a small husband and wife team running a small business that looks after their customers and as such we like to support the little guys.

We were drawn to the amazing products of both Godemiche and Hole Punch Toys as they both put so much of themselves into their range of toys. They are without a doubt some of the highest quality sex toys we have ever come across and the large sex toy manufacturers should hang their heads in shame especially with the materials they use in their toys.

Both Hole Punch Toys and Godemiche only use 100% body safe silicone in their ranges making them hypoallergenic and of course non-porous. Amazing sex toys made with love and dedication, what isn’t there to love about both companies? We had to support them and try to increase awareness of their amazing brands.

What’s not to love about companies that have a passion for your passion?

When is your busiest time for bookings? (I assume Valentine’s Day but I might be entirely wrong!)

Valentine’s Day is a very popular time of the year but in all honesty we are busy all year round (although we do notice seasonal variations around the school holidays and Christmas). This is completely understandable as family must come first and with kids around and the expense of Christmas we often take a back seat.

That said though at Christmas we often add extra days to our rental bookings to fit around the holiday season and these are all free making it a great time to rent.

Fucking Machines are an amazing piece of kit but they can also be incredibly intimidating for many individuals. What would you say to those who are captivated by the look of Fucking Machines but a bit scared of trying one?

That is an excellent question and most people first find out about fucking machines whilst watching porn online. Often these videos are pretty extreme and show the machines going hell for leather which is pretty intimidating. You need to remember though that you control the machine and whilst it will keep going for ever if you let it, ultimately you are in control. Think of it as having dildo fun but with your hands free to focus on other areas of your body.

These machines can be set up to do very shallow or deep strokes and you control the speed. They are capable of going very, very slowly all the way up to four thrusts a second and everything in between. They can allow you to live out other fantasies, for example a couple can easily use a blindfold to live out a threesome fantasy without engaging a third party.

What the machines are is enablers, they allow you to live out fantasies. They are also extremely useful for disabled couples and they can assist with creating a wonderful new sex life for those that have problems for whatever reason.

Fucking machines open up new avenues for exploration.

The adult industry is (in my experience) and amazing one to work in. What are some of your best experiences to date?

It is both an amazing and daunting field to work in.

Without a doubt though our best experiences have been helping others to enjoy an amazing sex life and we have also met some wonderful and amazing people.

Working with bloggers like yourself has also been a very rewarding experience and all feedback that we receive is actioned upon. You were one of the first bloggers that we approached as we loved your writing style and knew that you give honest and above all accurate feedback.

Awww, shucks. I’m blushing!

On the flip side have there been any particular struggles or difficult moments that have made you question your commitment to the industry?

So far, touch wood, we haven’t experienced that many problems in the industry. This is probably because we are now very picky with who we work with.

One event that left a bitter taste in our mouth though was when a huge UK fetish magazine got in touch with us asking if we could provide some machines for a photo shoot that they were doing. We thought it was a great opportunity to get our name out there and so we agreed at our expense to send two machines in exchange for some advertising pictures that we could use.

Anyway, to cut a long story short we went out on a limb and satisfied their request only to then have follow up e-mails ignored and we never got anything in return, not even a credit in the magazine. Lesson learnt, we no longer work with the big industry players who tend to be full of themselves, instead focussing on helping the little guys when and where we can.

And finally (with maybe just a little bit of personal interest) when will your next Sybian giveaway be?

LOL! We are planning on doing another one but, as you can understand, we can’t afford to give away £1.5k of sex machine regularly as that makes a huge dent in our budget. It was a very popular competition for obvious reasons though and I can attest that the winner of the last one was absolutely delighted with hers when it arrived. So, keep an eye on our site for our next competition.

Haha, completely understandable!

I believe that’s all for now. Thank you for answering these questions.

Thank you for giving us the opportunity to talk about our service on your amazing site Emmeline.