Toy Review: The Great Big Satisfyer Guide

Hello my lovely readers!

Can you believe it? I’ve officially reviewed all of the Satisfyer products current available thanks to PeepShowToys, Shop Naughty, and Satisfyer (y’all rock, by the way).

Because of this I’m now able to provide you with a compilation of all of the reviews in one handy-dandy place along with a synopsis for each and some of my thoughts.

So, to avoid any further delay, here goes!

The Satisfyers

The Satisfyer range is what Satisfyer are known for and is essentially comprised of suction-based sex toys.

What are suction-based sex toys?

Essentially suction-based sex toys work by creating a seal around the clitoris with their nozzle and using a suction motion in order to provoke a contact-free orgasm. ‘Contact-free’ in that you don’t actually have anything making physical contact with your clitoris specifically even though it’s the main area being stimulated.

Beyond this pretty much all suction-based sex toys have an underlying shudder to them which resonates into the body and adds to the effect of the toy.

What do suction-based sex toys achieve best? 

Instant orgasms. Typically. At least in terms of the norm.

Many people find that suction-based sex toys create such a unique and engaging experience that it typically causes them to climax either swiftly or multiple times or both. The Cosmopolitan described this as a ‘cluster of orgasms’ and, having tried many suction-toys myself now, it’s hard to disagree.

These orgasms also last for a rather long time and do well to engage and involve the vaginal muscles, despite having no direct contact with them.

Because of this the Satisfyer toys are great for anyone who wants a really swift and efficient set of orgasms or need to vent some frustration on a time limit.

There’s also potential for those with sexual dysfunction, but this is really down to each individual case.

Where do suction-based sex toys fall short?

One word: Detachment.

For some people the lack of direct contact provided by suction-based sex toys is simply unpleasant, abrasive, perplexing, or even traumatic.

People who dislike strong sensations may also find the Satisfyer toys to be overwhelming, because they do provide a very precise and very intense for of sensation.

There’s no way of necessarily knowing how your body will respond to Satisfyer toys, but that’s why the recent release of the full Satisfyer range is so important.

With toys ranging from $29.00-$59.99 there’s a Satisfyer out there for most price limits and each has their strengths and weaknesses.

The Satisfyer 1

The Satisfyer 1 is the cheapest of all the Satisfyer toys. It retails at $29.00 over at PeepShowToys and has the following benefits:

Whisper Quiet
Easy to clean
11 programs
Waterproof for even more fun underwater
Pressure wave and touch-free clitoral stimulation
Body-friendly silicone
Requires 2x AAA batteries, not included

Synopsis

The Satisfyer 1 is made to be incredibly travel-friendly and accessible to those who want to try suction-based toys but have a very strict budget to work it. It’s battery powered (which makes it good for those on the go) and features a decent range of vibrations.

The Good

The Satisfyer 1 looks fairly discreet and is easy enough to take on-the-go (as promised). Despite being so cheap it does manage to provide sensations that are true to the Satisfyer brand and I wouldn’t say that you were missing much if this was the only Satisfyer that you were willing to try.

The Bad

The Satisfyer 1‘s higher settings are a bit buzzier than I would like and it’s pink exterior may put some people off. Battery-powered sex toys aren’t for everyone, especially when you can get a USB rechargeable Satisfyer for just $20 more at minimum.

Emmeline’s Opinion

I liked the Satisfyer 1 but I don’t think that it’s the best of the bunch at all.

That being said this toy isn’t just a ‘sample’ of things to come and performs as a good sex toy in its own right. I could still achieve very good orgasms with this toy and would recommend it if it were all you could justify.

Read my full review here.

The Satisfyer 2

The Satisfyer 2 is a slightly more expensive battery-controlled Satisfyer and retails at $35.00 over at PeepShowToys. Much as with the Satisfyer 1, it has the following benefits:

Whisper Quiet
Easy to clean
11 programs
Waterproof for even more fun underwater
Pressure wave and touch-free clitoral stimulation
Body-friendly silicone
Requires 2x AAA batteries, not included

Synopsis

The Satisfyer 2 is the slight upgrade to the Satisfyer 1 and the bridge towards the Satisfyer Pro 2. Because of this it shares a similar aesthetic to both, but is more closely aligned with the Satisfyer Pro 2. The Satisfyer 2 is also pitched as a convenient travel vibrator but with the added bonus of + and – controls, which allows for more control over the settings.

The Good

The suction on the Satisfyer 2 is nice and diverse, allowing for a broad variety of sensations to play around with.

In terms of nozzle design, the Satisfyer 2 has the longest ABS plastic segment and this provides a different experience to that of the Satisfyer 1 or Satisfyer Pro 2. It makes the pressure wave technology transfer through the nozzle with a bit more clarity and proliferation.

The + and – control muzzle really does make all of the difference and allows you to filter through the settings in a way that isn’t available through any other Satisfyer toy.

The Bad

The transition between each setting feels rather rough and abrupt compared to any of the other Satisfyer toys and could be jarring and off-putting for some users.

The Satisfyer 2 is also the noisiest of the bunch and may not pass as discreet depending on how thin your walls are.

It is also still battery-powered which, again, is kind of redundant when you could get a USB rechargeable toy for a tad more (unless you prefer traditional batteries, in which case you’re golden).

Emmeline’s Opinion

I think this toy is the best option for anyone who wants to really immerse themselves in everything that suction-based sex toys have to offer without committing to the most expensive model in the market. In my mind it trumps the Satisfyer 1 and I think this is due to the plastic nozzle, which allows me to masturbate with it in an unconventional manner.

For more info read my full review here.

The Satisfyer Pro 2

The original Satisfyer model, the Satisfyer Pro 2 retails at $59.99 over at PeepShowToys or at £52.95 over at Shop Naughty. It sets the standards for the benefits of the entire range with the following benefits:

Whisper quiet
Body-friendly silicone
11 programs
Waterproof for even more fun underwater
Pressure wave and touch-free clitoral stimulation
Magnetic USB charging cable included
Rechargable Li-ion battery
Easy to clean

Synopsis

The Satisfyer Pro 2 is the flagship toy and delivers incredibly strong, incredibly effective stimulation at a fraction of the cost for a Womanizer (which was one of Satisfyer‘s original intentions). It has been revised and improved to make it quieter than it used to be and to introduce the full range of sensations. It is, to summarize, iconic (and for all the right reasons too).

The Good

This toy sets the standard for all other Satisfyer toys and provides a very solid product. Easy to handle, waterproof, and rechargeable, this toy delivers reliably phenomenal orgasms for most individuals and a very good range of sensations (from incredibly gentle to intensely strong).

The Bad

This toy looks tacky, is the priciest toy of the bunch, and starts becoming chunky enough that it’s not really good to use with larger sex toys.

There’s also always a chance that you may accidentally stumble upon the original Satisfyer Pro 2 rather than its updated counterpart, in which case you’ll be left with an inferior and noisy device. (Thankfully this won’t happen if using the retailers linked in this guide).

Emmeline’s Opinion

I used to consider the Satisfyer Pro 2 to be the gold standard for suction-based sex toys and it’s still an incredibly strong contender. However, since the Satisfyer 2 and Satisfyer Pro Penguin have been introduced it sits comfortably in second place as my go-to Satisfyer toy.

However, there’s no denying the potency and ubiquity of the Satisfyer Pro 2 and if you buy it then it is highly unlikely that you will be disappointed. It’s good. Very good.

For more info read my full review here.

The Satisfyer Pro Deluxe

The Satisfyer Pro Deluxe retails at $49.00 over at PeepShowToys and has the following specs (identical to the Satisfyer Pro 2, in theory):

Whisper quiet
Body-friendly silicone
11 programs
Waterproof for even more fun underwater
Pressure wave and touch-free clitoral stimulation
Magnetic USB charging cable included
Rechargable Li-ion battery
Easy to clean

Synopsis

Striking out from the rest of the range, the Satisfyer Pro Deluxe aims to provide a sense of closeness (and perhaps intimacy) by omitting an individual handle and making the entire body of the Satisfyer Pro Deluxe ovular so that it can essentially hug against the vulva.

The Good

Tenderness and elegance are two buzzwords when it comes to the Satisfyer Pro Deluxe and this toy has the gentlest and smoothest sensations of the bunch.

The pressure that it allows people to apply to the vulva could be a definite bonus for those who like such feelings. Meanwhile its gentler sensations will cater well to those who have heard about the benefits of suction-based sex toys but know that they prefer gentler sensations.

The Bad

This tender sensation/firm touch combo is somewhat of a refined taste and will not be well-catered to everyone’s needs.

Emmeline’s Opinion

I am not one of the people who has this refined taste and I really disliked trying to navigate the Satisfyer Pro Deluxe. It never felt like it was comfortably in place and I felt limited by its design and sensations. It’s my least favorite of the range and I’d discourage purchasing it unless you absolutely crave that pressure or know that you will need gentler sensations and don’t intent to strike out beyond that point.

For more info read my full review here.

The Satisfyer Pro Penguin

The Satisfyer Pro Penguin retails at $49.00 over at PeepShowToys and has the following specs (identical to the Satisfyer Pro 2, in theory):

Whisper quiet
Body-friendly silicone
11 programs
Waterproof for even more fun underwater
Pressure wave and touch-free clitoral stimulation
Magnetic USB charging cable included
Rechargable Li-ion battery
Easy to clean

Synopsis

This compact little offering is the on-the-go rechargeable option for the Satisfyer range, which is pitched as perfect for newcomers.

Because of this it’s designed with simplicity in mind and has a nicely curved and angled head for convenient use. It’s single button design helps add to this simplicity and a smaller silicone attachment combined with a relatively prevalent plastic nozzle gives it the best of both the Satisfyer 2 and the Satisfyer Pro 2 in a more compact and adorable form.

The Good

The sensations provided by the Satisfyer Pro Penguin are very in keeping with the Pro 2 and yet also have their own appeal (being slightly less potent).

It is small enough to be easily used with most other sex toys and to store discreetly with very few questions asked.

It’s easy to clean, is affordable-yet-rechargeable and can even provide completely hands-free stimulation under the right conditions.

The Bad

This toy isn’t quite as strong as the Pro 2 and its smaller silicone attachment is prone to slipping off and easy to misplace.

Emmeline’s Opinion

This is my absolute favorite Satisfyer toy due to the near-perfect balance it manages to strike between affordability, strength, compact form, and aesthetics. It delivers everything I want and never feels like it’s compromising to achieve its ‘beginner friendly’ goal. Instead, it feels more like a general go-to and that’s very much what it’s become for me.

I can’t recommend it enough and it is my favorite suction-based toy to date.

For more info read my full review here.

The Partners

The Partner range is Satisfyer‘s attempt at creating couples’ vibrators akin to many others on the market. They feature an internal prong for stimulating the penis and G-Spot during PiV sex and an external clitoral arm that offers vibrations for this area.

What do insertable couples’ sex toys achieve best? 

For those engaging in PiV sex insertable couples’ sex toys can allow both individuals to gain a sense of reaffirmed intimacy through the sharing of the same sex toy.

Such toys can also help alleviate any anxieties that either individual has about being ‘replaced’ by sex toys, showing how sex toys work in a supplementary role rather than as a surrogate human.

These products can also provide an increased sense of playfulness, as couples feel like they’re selecting and using something a bit out of the ordinary and special.

Where do insertable couples’ sex toys fall short?

Usually such sex toys are marketed as ‘hands free’ and this is rarely the case. There can be a lot of fumbling, rearranging, and even uncomfortable slips during use depending on how the vibrator fits.

Every body is different and so the uniform pronged design of these toys will be more suited for some than others, creating a standard that not everyone will achieve.

Due to the smaller size, the vibrations in such toys can sometimes fall short too, or feel like they’re delivering in one aspect but not the other.

To date Satisfyer has released two insertable couples’ sex toys.

The Partner Vibrator For Couples

The Partner Vibrator retails at $39.00 over at PeepShowToys, who provide the following specs for the toy:

10 Programs (3 vibration intensities & 7 vibration rhythms)
Made of Medical-grade Silicone
Length: 4 inch(overall)
Insertable Length: 2.75 inch
Width: 1 inch(tip), 2 inch(base)
Rechargeable Li-ion Battery
Magnetic USB Charging Cable Included
Waterproof for shower time fun
Charge time: 2 hours, Play time: 65 minutes

Synopsis

The Partner Vibrator is one of the cheapest couples’ vibrators of its kind available on the market, following the Satisfyer trend of trying to introduce affordable options of typically ‘luxury’ toys.

Its thin internal shaft is lacking in vibrations, whereas the clitoral section  offers a mid-range, buzz-rumble combo that is neither spectacular nor sub-par.

The Good

Much as with the new Satisfyer toys, this product allows users to explore a usually inaccessible form of sex toy when working in a lower price range to see if it’s for them or not.

Its internal prong is slimmer than most toys of this kind and this works very well for those who don’t want to feel too full up.

It stays in place relatively well, but is still not entirely hands free.

The Bad

Emphasis on not being hands-free here, meaning that this toy (like pretty much all of its kind) fails at a fundamental level.

For those who dislike mid-level vibrations or those that are neither wholly buzzy nor wholly rumbly then this toy may feel very run of the mill and unengaging.

Some penis-owners may also find some chasing or that the internal prong is otherwise ill-suited to their motions.

Emmeline’s Opinion

I like this toy. I think that it’s a great first purchase for toys of this kind and believe it will give a good impression of what to expect when encountering internal couples’ vibrators. I also found it to be one of the better toys of this kind in general but Mr Peaches did not at all. For him this toy was uncomfortable, caused some sincere physical pain and is to be avoided.

This highlights another core problem with couples’ toys: If they don’t work for one partner then they don’t work for either.

Read my full review here.

The Partner PLUS Couples Sex Toy

The Satisfyer Partner Plus Couples Sex Toy retails at $49.00 over at PeepShowToys, who provide the following specs for the toy:

10 Programs (3 vibration intensities & 7 vibration rhythms)
Dual motors for added power and stimulation
Made of Medical-grade Silicone
Length: 4 inch(overall)
Insertable Length: 2.75 inch
Width: 1 inch(tip), 1.5 inch(base)
Rechargeable Li-ion Battery
Magnetic USB Charging Cable Included
Waterproof for shower time fun
Charge time: 2 hours, Play time: 65 minutes

Synopsis

The Partner Plus Couples Sex Toy is $10 more and adds a chunkier, more contoured internal prong with a motor included for dual vibration and a decent degree of resonation. It is more rigid in form than its cheaper counterpart and has a sleeker overall appearance.

The larger diameter is meant to provide ‘more pleasure’ for the user, adding to the fun.

The Good

Dual motors always feel like a good time, as they bounce effectively off of each other. The vibration strength and type remains much the same as the cheaper couples’ toy but the dual motors makes these sensations feel amplified and gives them more depth.

The internal prong’s increased size makes G-Spot stimulation more effective and can create some very effective orgasms.

The Bad

The added girth and size does feel a bit too filling and causes chaffing and a frequent need to reapply lubricant.

The vibrations are still relatively standard and don’t do anything extraordinary and the more rigid shape slips out more readily, creating even more problems during use.

Emmeline’s Opinion

It’s hard for me to feel invested in this toy because it does feel like such a lackluster attempt, especially compared to its cheaper counterpart (which actually feels better in my opinion).

I can’t recommend it and it reaffirmed to me that Satisfyer do best when working with suction-based toys.

Read my full review here.


Aaand that’s all for now (phew!)

If you’ve read this entire review then congratulations! You are dedicated. Allow me to reward you with a 10% discount over at PeepShowToys that can be used at any time. Simply use the code PEACHES to claim your discount.

But, for now, I’d also like to highlight this Valentine’s sale, which you should take full advantage of while it lasts.

I will continue to update this list as more items are released and tested but, for now, until the next review!

Emmeline.