Toy Review: The Emojibator

I’ve said it once, I’ve said it again—2016 has been an absolute nightmare for so many different reasons. Oftentimes I look back on the events of the year in disbelief. As a Historian I wonder how this year will be remembered—if it’s really all so bad or if this year will become but a blip in the grand scheme of things. For now it seems impossible to feel like the emotions attached to this year could ever go unnoticed by the tests of time, but it is ultimately time that will tell.

But there have been some wonderful, quirky, and absolutely brilliant aspects to this year too. Many of these I will touch upon in my official 2016 post, but I really would be remiss if I didn’t give the Emojibator its own personal platform in terms of one of the year’s positives.

Is this toy perfect? Absolutely not. Has it come out at a perfect time? Yes.

The Emojibator

The Emojibator is exactly what you’d expect it to be—a vibrator version of the now iconic Eggplant Emoji.

Sometimes a toy like this is just needed.

Although the Eggplant Emoji is not a product of 2016 (stemming, instead, from 2011) the Eggplant Emoji reached its social media peak in January 2016 in terms of Google search interest. In general it is now agreed upon that the Eggplant Emoji is a visual indicator of sex, hinted at by the phallic suggestiveness that is apparently inherent in eggplants (apparently?). But, perhaps more interesting, is the sexual politics that stemmed around the Eggplant Emoji.

In April 2015 when allowing for searches of emoji-related hashtags Instagram decided not to include the Eggplant Emoji due to supposedly being “consistently associated” with sexual content. Because, as we all know, sexual content is clearly the devil. It’s right up there with 2016 itself!

Thankfully most people saw just how ludicrous this was and the hashtag #FreeTheEggplant was born and went viral alongside #FreeTheNipple. Online sexual activism at its finest used to fight against body politics and the policing of our ability to express ourselves as sexually desirable.

What better product to come out of such a movement than a literal object of self-pleasure?

The Emojibator is conceptually fantastic. It taps in to all of the political and personal potency of the above mentioned debate while also remaining wonderfully tongue-in-cheeky and easily recognizable. The Eggplant Emoji is iconic and now so is this vibrator (or, at least, I hope it will be).

Seemingly wanting to do things right, the people behind the Emojibator have gone whole hog with that this toy can provide users too.

It’s obvious that accessibility was a key factor for the Emojibator team and I’m happy to say that they’ve been successful in this. The Emojibator retails at just $32.00, which is very reasonable for a clitoral vibrator like this one. Free shipping is also given on all domestic orders, adding to just how appealing this product is when money is involved. At $32.00 I’d probably buy one of these vibrators simply to own it.

The Emojibator also has a brilliant sense of humor about it that is perfectly in keeping with the spirit of the product. It comes in phone-based packaging and the images advertising it on the Emojibator website is nothing short of brilliant. An accompanying T-Shirt also keeps up the good spirits of this wonderfully high-spirited adult product.

Quality is also important when it comes to sex toys and the Emojibator has provided as many perks as is possible for a toy in its price range. As long as the Emojibator’s battery cap is screwed up tightly (which is the stem, by the way, because of course) the Emojibator is submersible, making it easy to clean and possible to use in the bath and shower.

Of course I’ve never been a huge fan of using sex toys in the bath but the Emojibator got me curious enough to give it a try. After all, all vegetables should be washed thoroughly before tucking in to them.

What I will say about the waterproof function of the Emojibator is as follows: Personally I’m always a bit apprehensive about submerging this toy because I worry I haven’t screwed it tight enough. However, apprehensions aside the Emojibator perhaps worked best for me in the bath. Why? Well it all has to do with the vibration type.

Available with 10 vibration settings, the Emojibator has 2 continual vibration modes of varying intensity and then a whole slew of patterns which will make you think you’re surfing through your new ring tone choice. The good aspect of this is the variety offered in addition to the depth of the Emojibator—which is mid-range and satisfying enough for reaching clitoral orgasm.

Why, yes–I do want this T-Shirt.

The bad news is that the Emojibator is very much in the high-pitched buzz camp of sex toys which may irritate and disappoint some people.

Having an Eggplant Emoji rumble my down under would have been an occasion worth livetweeting about but, as it stands, the Emojibator is a nice, non-irritating, buzzy vibrator which manages to get the job done but without the extraordinary effect that some might hope for.

When immersed in water the vibrations from the Emojibator become their most subtle and the water can give a complimentary rippling effect to the process. This appealed to me in terms of slow, relaxing, and almost intimate self-sex sessions, which is honestly something I can say I never expect to utter in relation to the Eggplant Emoji.

Power Queens will mostly likely dislike the heck out of this vibrator, as will those who dislike the industry standard for buzzy vibrations. But those who prefer a gentler or more typical type of stimulation may find the mid-strength of this toy to be just what they wanted. It certainly works well visually (if you’re planning on sending some safe and secure nudes over the phone) and provides a prolonged and teasing enough experience to work well for texting sessions.

In this Emojibator have been very smart when it comes to knowing their audience and I commend them for it. Personally I was always hoping for one more intensity level when I pressed through the single-button controls of this toy, but was otherwise satisfied with what this product provided.

The Emojibator is also made out of 100% silicone, making it non-porous, phthalate-free, and completely body-safe. This silicone has a matte finish, is smooth to the touch, and doesn’t pick up dust and lint. All good things. Might I also say how absolutely refreshing it is to see an increasing amount of silicone sex toys break in to the lower budget market. Forget swanky sex tech! 2017 will hopefully become the year where affordable body-safe toys finally become readily accessible without even a second glance in to material quality. I can live in hope.

For the love of all that is emoji, change the controls, please!

Speaking of hope, there is one other thing I hope the Emojibator team rectify in future models (outside of providing a more rumbly and powerful eggplant) and that’s a press-and-hold function to turn this toy off. As it stands you literally have to filter through all 10 patterns to eventually turn this toy off. I’m sure this has helped keep costs down but I find it incredibly tedious.

Keep the batter powered, Emojibator but do provide us with a revamped and rechargeable version that utilizes smoother controls. Yes, I know it will bump the price up but it will also provide various options for those who love the aesthetic of this toy but simply expect more in terms of what it delivers.

Final Thoughts

The Eggplant Emoji is such a powerful and pervasive force, it seems somewhat ironic that its vibrating counterpart would be deliciously gentle and slow-burner. Yet having now tried this toy I really cannot thing of a better way to initially launch such a product.

If I’m being honest to my personal preferences then, of course, I want the Emojibator to expand and gain some more power as time goes on. But, for what it is and what it does I really do think that this toy is exactly what it needed to be.

In a year full of many dismal and daunting clowns it’s so nice to see something with a bit of humor that can actually put a smile on my face. The orgasm? That’s the icing on the eggplant.

Recommend to:

People who like long sexting sessions.

Meme-lovers.

People who like gentle vibrators.

Do Not Recommend to:

People who dislike buzzy vibrations.

People who dislike emoji culture.

People who dislike long-winded control cycles.

The Emojibator was provided to me by Emojibator in exchange for an honest review.

 

  • ashley maria

    This is about the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen in my life. There are tons of quality toys out there, why would anyone waste their money on this?