Toy Review: Bad Dragon’s Sleipnir (Mini Size, Split Firmness, With Suction Cup)

It is perhaps a fault of humanity as a whole to glorify and romanticize mythology and religions of old. Glimpsing back at cultures and practice that aren’t our own, we found ourselves drawn in by the appeal of ‘the other’ and gain an intense fascination for those rich mythologies which we see as so distant to our own.

Cultural and religious appropriation is a hard topic to tackle, yet I also think there is a certain benefit to being generally curious, engrossed by, and passionate about history, other belief systems, and the practices of other people. To make a very casual comparison, when I first tasted ramen I was so smitten by it that I immediately decided to learn how to make my own. The end result is inauthentic. To some it may even be insulting. But to me it was (and still is to this day) a complete and utter labor of love and something that I have forged to be my own while still embodying my admiration for its roots.

I’m not too sure how much any of this pertains to a 5.75 inch silicone horse cock, but it felt important to include. Mainly because Sleipnir isn’t just a horse dildo; It’s a legend embodied. The mighty Sleipnir—an eight-legged horse from Norse mythology, child of the Norse trickster god Loki and the stallion Svaðilfari, and king god Odin’s steed. Is this particular mythical beast any more an appropriation than other Bad Dragon creations? I don’t know. All I know is that I chose it specifically because of Mr Peaches’ own personal belief system (which is closely aligned with Norse mythology) and I haven’t regretted that decision since.

Bad Dragon’s Sleipnir

Sleipnir is the fantasy dildo company Bad Dragon’s own take on this formidable stallion of lore. Accompanied on the product page with its own brief erotica, it’s fair to say that Sleipnir takes horse cock to mythical proportions and plays around with just what stallion anatomy has to offer.

This dildo is truly divine.

For someone like me, who is still a little uneasy about animal-inspired phalli (despite recognizing that it is just a stylistic choice with no connections to the illegal actions of bestiality) Sleipnir bridged the comfortable gap between wanting to try this particular design of dildo and wanting to work within my own comfort zones. All dildos are a fantasy to one degree or another—something completely detached from the embodied reality of sex with a living individual—but Bad Dragon dildos take this concept to new and exciting degrees.

Much like my first attempts at ramen, Bad Dragon dildos are also a complete labor of love, and a highly personalized experience. The Sleipnir was first conceived by a Bad Dragon community member, and those who wish to order it can make their very own dildo from scratch. This includes size, color, firmness, whether or not it has a suction cup and/or cup tube, and its color.

For my Sleipnir I decided to put Bad Dragon’s customization to the test and ordered my dildo in mini size with split firmness (medium shaft, firm base) and a suction cup. I did, however, let Bad Dragon go nuts on the color and the result is stunning. A beautiful, shimmering chaotic swirling of purples and deep blues, my Sleipnir feels like a true embodiment of Loki’s own unruly nature and the unbridled spirit of Sleipnir’s stallion father.

This dildo has wonderful albeit gentle) texture and a brilliant color scheme.

When it came to all other custom options I was completely satisfied by Bad Dragon’s services. The shaft did, indeed, feel medium—allowing just enough of the texture to shine through without feeling too abrasive or rigid, meanwhile the shaft (though not much firmer than the medium) had a noticeable difference to it which made it easier to grip and sit in a harness. Its suction cup was absolutely impeccable and made using the Sleipnir with something like the Arc a breeze.

The attention to detail and extraordinarily creative texture of the Sleipnir is absolutely outstanding, as is often the case with Bad Dragon dildos. Outside of Mr Peaches’ own spiritual affiliations I was also interested in the Sleipnir because it seemed to me to be the most manageable and textured equine-esque dildo in the Bad Dragon roster. This was made even more impertinent when I had the Sleipnir to hand and could see all of the wonderful details running through its shaft and culminating at its head. Sleipnir’s shaft isn’t what I would consider to be extremely textured but it has enough horse-power to it in order to fully engage the vaginal walls when inserted and cause some rather enthusiastic (almost compulsive) muscle clenches.

Compared to more conventional dildos the Sleipnir’s shaft may seem rather chunky, with very little taper to ease users in, but that’s something I actually really adore about the Sleipnir. From the moment you begin to insert it you know exactly what you’re being confronted with. It feels forthright and firm—like a persistent (but polite) request for entry. I’ve personally never had an issue with taking the non-tapered shaft of the Sleipnir but I do think it may take some adjustment for some users.

The Sleipnir has a brilliantly delicate curve and a head that practically hooks the G or P-Spot with its bumpy form. For me this didn’t illicit a very strong build up but when on the cusp of orgasm I would suddenly become incredibly aware of just how engulfing the Sleipnir felt and my orgasms would always be strong, prolonged, and deeply satisfying. It was as if the release were the triumphant whinny that was needed to really appreciate the Sleipnir. Only when this toy has you arching up, like a steed posing gloriously, does it truly demonstrate its aptitude for causing climaxes of godly proportions.

This head would sway even the most ardent of neigh-sayers.

On a more practical note the Sleipnir is made out of the highest grade of silicone available, making it an absolute breeze to wash, as well and being completely body-safe.

This is a very good thing because the biggest flaw I have with Sleipnir—the only flaw really—is that it’s an absolute dust and hair magnet. This is due to the surface of its silicone, which is clingy, almost tacky, and really should be used in conjunction with a good water-based lubricant to avoid any hassle or accidental public hair pulling.

Of course there are points of personal preference to keep in mind when using this toy; if you like to really feel your texture then go for a firm; if you need a tapered toy this isn’t the right one for you; if you’re uncomfortable with the entire premise of a mythical horse cock then the Sleipnir might be hard to swallow (or even deep throat). All of these are valid concerns, and should be kept in mind when considering the Sleipnir as a toy, but this is personally one of my favorite Bad Dragon dildos and I can’t believe it took me this long to dive in to the consistently girthy world of equine-inspired silicone sculptures. I really should have listened to my copy of Blast Radius a lot more.

Final Thoughts

For me it is the texture, curve, and consistent bulk of the Sleipnir which makes it an outstanding product, and you may find that this is the case for you too.

However perhaps one of the best features of Bad Dragon is that they have a design to cater for almost everyone—brilliantly packaged in a mythological or wild tale that both entices and highlights Bad Dragon’s unique appeal.

On my part I can highly recommend trying out Sleipnir (especially if you’re a lover to blunt, straightforward dildos) but there are also so many wonderful alternatives to try too.

For now this remains in my top 5 Bad Dragon toys, which I consider to be high praise indeed. Take this appraisal as you will (or go and buy one right now. Whatever. I’m breezy).

Recommend to:

People who like Norse mythology.

People who like texture (dependent on firmness).

People who like girth (dependent on size).

Do Not Recommend to:

People who like Norse mythology (and see this as appropriation).

People who cannot detach from the animal element.

People who want more/less texture.

The Bad Dragon Sleipnir was provided to me in exchange for an honest review. God do I love Bad Dragon toys. Like, endlessly. Still, they don’t always work with my body. To find one that works so well is an absolute godsend and always feels like a personal triumph. If you want to experience the rush of making and owning a Bad Dragon toy yourself then check out their site here. I highly recommend it.

  • Innocent Loverboy

    I see what you’re doing with the “Loki sex” tag at the end there. Stand by for the Tom Hiddleston fangirls!