Toy Review: The Fifty Shades of Grey Silicone Pleasure Balls

“I’m going to put these inside you, for your pleasure and mine.” With tender care, Christian inserts the balls inside me. Once they’re in position, he smooths my panties back down and places a soft kiss on my backside. I feel giddy, beyond aroused as the weight of the balls moves inside me.

These are the immortalized words which propelled the popularity of ben wa balls beyond any of their previous successes. Say what you want about Fifty Shades of Grey but sex sells and this franchise is like a chrome-clad sugar daddy for millions of individuals. I have some personal qualms about the writing style when it comes to Fifty Shades, but I don’t necessarily deny people the fantasy element of the series, at least not anymore and especially considering just how beneficial it’s been for the sex toy scene.

I mean, how many of us would have really expected ben wa balls—a rather niche kegel exerciser with a sexual appeal—to become the iconic sex toy that they are today? The very fact that we now have so many body-safe, affordable kegel exercisers is probably directly linked to Fifty Shades and I really can’t say that’s a bad thing.

The Fifty Shades brand of toys is a line that also champions primarily body-safe materials, and The Fifty Shades of Grey Silicone Pleasure Balls are just one among many of these options. As a kegel-obsessed aficionado how could I not try what this franchise had to offer? And, more importantly, was it any good? Read on below to find out!

The Fifty Shades of Grey Silicone Pleasure Balls

The Fifty Shades of Grey Silicone Pleasure Balls are what I would consider to be a medium-sized, entry-level pair of kegel balls with a primary appeal towards sexual gratification rather than providing long term kegel health.

That’s not to say that there aren’t clear medical benefits to using these balls—Simply by flexing those kegel muscles users will find that their bladder control improves, their pleasure may potentially increase, and they might find themselves more capable or clenching down and climaxing for longer. 64g of weight (32g for each ball) isn’t dinky, after all, and users will certainly notice a difference if regular kegel exercises are undertaken with these beads.

Ben Wa Balls on marble. Could there be anything more divine?
Ben Wa Balls on marble. Could there be anything more divine?

But the clear intent of these Pleasure Balls is in their very name—‘Pleasure’. These kegel beads are made to excite, and to create sensations that bring the user (to quote these bead’s source material directly) ‘beyond arousal’.

This is very apparent in the design of these beads—as they are easy to insert, incredibly easy on the eyes, and contain internal balls that allow for a weighty jiggling sensation during use.

These balls are made of ABS plastic—making them nicely firm—but can also be inserted in to a silicone sleeve to be used simultaneously. This is how I recommend most beginners to kegel beads use this particular set—as the case provides a flexible retrieval cord, providing reassurance during use.

The beads have a circumference of 4.65 inches and an insertable length of 4.25 inches, making them pretty chunky by some individual’s standards, but this also helps the vagina grip and keep these beads in place, as opposed to smaller beads which require more effort in the long run. The decision on these bead’s dimensions represents yet another effort to appeal to the beginner and I really do appreciate this. The more people who experience sexual joy and improved kegel health because of literature the better. The packaging and instruction manual for these beads also serves to very adeptly guide the sex toy initiate in to exactly how to use kegel beads and what they can offer in terms of satisfaction. All clear bonuses when the target audience is primarily those who are looking for their first set of kegel beads.

These beads can be removed from their incredibly flexible silicone case.
These beads can be removed from their incredibly flexible silicone case.

Silicone and ABS plastic are both non-porous, phthalate-free, and therefore completely body-safe. The ABS plastic is understandably rigid but the silicone sleeve is silky smooth and wonderfully flexible. This makes sliding the individual beads in and out of these case a very easy task, even with some restricted motor functions (though sliding them back in might prove more of a hassle if that’s the case).

Water-based lubricant is the recommended lube of choice with these beads and I wholeheartedly agree. I really don’t think that the silicone on these beads is smooth or glossy enough to allow for comfortably unassisted insertion, especially if you allow your pubic hair to grow in that reason. Trust me—I’ve tried.

Once lubed up these beads go in rather well, with the neck at the mid-section providing only minimal difficulty. But, my god, are these beads chunky! Compared to all other kegel beads I own the Fifty Shades of Grey Pleasure Balls are very, very prominent and put an immense amount of pressure on the vaginal canal and bladder.

Peeing with these beads was actually near-impossible for me—as their girthy design slowed my flow to naught but an uncomfortable trickle. That may be TMI but it’s an important thing to consider for long-term wear. If you’re serious about using these beads over a full day I would honestly recommend bringing some sachets of lubricant out with you, because you very well may wish to remove them and alleviate the pressure at some point.

These beads also come with their own storage bag. It is not discreet.
These beads also come with their own storage bag. It is not discreet.

This may sound like a downside but, really, it all depends on what you want from your kegel beads. In terms of BDSM I have never encountered a set of beads that were quite this persistent, nor this ever-present. It’s a term I’ve used before but I feel like these beads redefine it and show me the true meaning of feeling both of the beads all of the time. For me this could be uncomfortable, yes, but for someone who has been commanded to wear these beads (and wants to be absolutely clear on their subservience) then I honestly can’t think of a better pair of kegel beads.

In terms of the jiggle these beads also easily outstrip their rivals. Unlike most jiggle beads—which tend to offer a subtle sensation from time-to-time—the Fifty Shades of Grey Pleasure Balls move inside the body with all the clunkiness of E.J. James’ prose. However, unlike with her books, this is a very good thing when it comes to these beads. Reinforcing the strength and dominance of these beads, this very noticeable clunking jiggle felt hefty, substantial, and impossible to ignore. There was a definite eyes-widening when I first tried them and I still don’t think I’ve fully adjusted to the sensation.

In terms of removal and cleaning these beads are very easy to handle. Simply remove, disassemble, use a good toy cleaner/some soap and water, and reassemble. Voila! You’re good to go. And this is probably a good thing because I needed to clean these beads a lot.

I honestly can’t explain why but this set of beads produced in me a very increased amount of discharge and other internal fluids. This particular fluid was thick, creamy, and entirely unworrying from a medical angle, but it did reflect my own personal sentiment of disliking how these beads felt.

For me these beads simply offer too much pressure in too persistent a manner and with too much of a jiggle. What can I say? When it comes to kegel beads I might just be an Ana Steele—willing to tolerate some new sensations but, ultimately, hoping for a gentle and subtle embrace behind it all. These beads cannot provide me with what I want and so I will personally walk away from them. But that’s not to say that their benefits won’t have a specific appeal to others.

Final Thoughts

It is perhaps a true mark of success when a publication and its subsequent products perfectly mirror each other in almost every regard.

The Fifty Shades of Grey Pleasure Balls are everything they need to be to best represent their source material while also working well to ease in an eager fanbase who may be tip-toeing in to the world of kegel beads for the first time.

I suppose my inclination would be to recommend more light-hearted sensations to start with, but then I’m basically the sex toy equivalent of the pornography prude—telling people to start their smut consumption with a bit of light petting before looking to the leather-clad domme with her sterling silver flogger. Ultimately people like what they like and if you’re looking for some very commanding kegel beads then these are the ones for you.

For this I must commend these kegel beads for being exactly what they need to be and appealing to the Fifty Shades readership with the utmost consideration and care.

Recommend to:

Fifty Shades fans.

Beginners looking for strong sensations.

People who like larger kegel beads.

Do Not Recommend to:

People wanting a progressive kegel training kit.

People who morally or ethically object to Fifty Shades.

People who dislike a lot of pressure or strength from their prolonged-use toys.

The Fifty Shades of Grey Pleasure Balls were provided to me by LoveYourSelf in exchange for an honest review. Go check them out. They’re awesome. Amazeballs even!