Toy Review: The Crowned Jewels Shaftsbury Aluminium ‘S’ Curve Dildo

Being in a position where you can own a body-safe, reliable sex toy is still (sadly) a privilege for many and it’s one that I sometimes take for granted as a sex toy reviewer. When products turn up on your doorstep near-weekly it sometimes feels hard to have that same rush of excitement—that saucy thrill you get when first treating yourself to an erotic object.

But I can honestly say that when it came to the Crowned Jewels Shaftsbury Aluminium ‘S’ Curve Dildo I felt that spark of excitement again and I felt it hard. When a toy like this arrives I consider it to be an honor. A complete and utter privilege. Though, really, words fail me because there is no other toy ‘like this’.

Just look at this amazing dildo.
Just look at this amazing dildo!

The Crowned Jewels Shaftsbury Aluminium ‘S’ Curve Dildo (and, indeed, their entire line) stands out from the crowd as distinctly deluxe. Simply by owning this dildo I feel like more of a sex toy connoisseur—like I have transcended to the illustrious ranks of sex toy high society where I shall forever dine on the finest of vulva-shaped dark chocolate truffles and marzipan phalli imported directly from Belgium.

Ah, the irresistible arousal of luxury.

About Crowned Jewels

As magnificent at it appears, the Crowned Jewels Shaftsbury Aluminium ‘S’ Curve Dildo’s luxurious aura is not just maintained by the toy itself but by the entire company behind it.

Crowned Jewels is a company with high standards and the visionary excellence to maintain its level of desired decorum. The company considers themselves to be Artisans with a capital A and approach the art of the sex toy with the utmost diligence. In terms of the sex toy world these are High Art pleasure devices with an uncompromising focus on both aesthetics and functionality.

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Even the company’s base of operations sounds unbelievably refined—a 300 year old barn on a country estate nestled in the countryside of Norfolk. It makes me want to go on a holiday retreat to the Crowned Jewels workshop and see how the products are made before falling asleep in a (presumably) four poster bed surrounded by luxury offerings (pretty please Crowned Jewels).

When a company can invoke such strong luxury vibes just from its company ethos then you know it’s a good sign and thankfully it’s not all talk. Crowned Jewels follows through on this sense of elite professionalism in every regard—from the beautiful design of its website, to its spectacular customer service and social media engagement, and its prompt and discreet delivery services.

Shopping on the Crowned Jewels site feels like visiting Mayfair or Bond Street in terms of the sense of prestige that it conveys. And yet the people at Crowned Jewels always feel warm, attentive, and accommodating.

Crowned Jewels manage to be luxurious while remaining accessible. Fancy but friendly. The perfect combination of a high-class product and top notch service. Perhaps it’s because their signature is sealed with a kiss

The Crowned Jewels Shaftsbury Aluminium ‘S’ Curve Dildo

Signatures and seals seem to be a running trend with Crowned Jewels—as my Crowned Jewels Shaftsbury Aluminium ‘S’ Curve Dildo arrived in the most elegant packaging, beautifully framed with a silken ribbon and sealed with wax. This is how every Crowned Jewels creation arrives, making these dildos fantastic for gift-giving, though not so good for opening on impulse.

This wax seal is never leaving my bedside.
This wax seal is never leaving my bedside.

Seeing the beautiful custom wax seal on my made-to-order dildo I couldn’t help but take my time as I delicately tried to open my tester product without damaging the seal. You’ll be happy to know I succeeded (which bodes well for anyone who would do the same) and will be keeping the wax offering as a unique memento. It’s the extra details like this which really make Crowned Jewels shine and showcases the love with which they approach their profession.

The Crowned Jewels Shaftsbury Aluminium ‘S’ Curve Dildo itself is a gorgeous aluminium dildo with a curving shaft that has two different designs. The first of these is a smooth, straight shaft with a delicate bulb on the end which reminds me of a rose bud. It tapers well and widens out to maximum width of 1.15 inches before gradually curving back in to a narrower neck.

One side of this toy provides a smooth sensation.
One side of this toy provides a smooth sensation with a subtle curve.

This side is very well designed for locating the G-Spot and gently stroking against it. The curve of this side is perfectly angled to provide a wonderful dip when inserted and is brilliant for thrusting—both slowly and with more frequency.

The other side of this double-ended dildo opts for a different approach—keeping its perfectly poised curvature and combining it with thee different bulbs (the top one the largest and the others increasingly smaller). These bulbs provide a ripple effect which causes the opening of the user’s orifice of choice to expand and contract upon insertion, ebbing and flowing with every thrust. These sensations are highly noticeable but extremely smooth, like being stroked with a perfectly formed petal or a fine silk scarf. This can be attributed to the material that Crowned Jewels chooses to employ.

The other side has multiple bulbs to offer.
The other side has multiple bulbs to offer.

As its name suggests the Crowned Jewels Shaftsbury Aluminium ‘S’ Curve Dildo is made from aluminium which has many benefits. Compared to other metals, aluminium is incredibly light-weight, making it a great choice for anyone who likes firmer toys but dislikes feeling bogged down by weight (or anyone with mobility or strength related concerns). Aluminium is also phthalate-free, non-porous, and completely body-safe.

It’s incredibly easy to clean (toy-cleaner/soap and water should do the trick) but frustratingly difficult to polish up. This is perhaps the most frustrating aspect of the Crowned Jewels Shaftsbury Aluminium ‘S’ Curve Dildo—it’s a toy you want to pamper but is also prone to smudging. Still, it says something about the quality of your product when its biggest flaw is that it can’t easily be polished to perfection.

Aluminium is also fantastic for temperature play, as it can be easily warmed or cooled to meet your needs and retains its heat well. By default aluminium is steely cold and this in itself is arousing. While I prefer my toys warmed my vulva has always had a preference for the icy embrace of metal and I often find that it enhances sensation for me an causes near-instant muscle contractions, like mini-orgasms of approval. After being inserted for some time the Crowned Jewels Shaftsbury Aluminium ‘S’ Curve Dildo adjusts to your body’s natural warmth, too, providing a sense of unity between your body and the shaft of the toy.

Because aluminium is non-porous it can be used with any lubricant, though its smooth surface doesn’t require much and some people may find that their natural fluids are more than adequate.

Two ends, the potential for temperature play, and ease of use with all lubes? It’s safe to say that customers who indulge in this dildo are truly spoiled for choice in terms of sexual exploration.

Personally I adored the Crowned Jewels Shaftsbury Aluminium ‘S’ Curve Dildo. When I first got it I was sure that I’d write this review with a clear winner in mind when it came to the two sides but, as it happens, I adore both equally for different reasons.

I couldn't get enough of this wonderfully polished work of art.
I couldn’t get enough of this wonderfully polished work of art.

For personal use I find the rippled-side to be an amazingly tender yet beautifully arousing exploration of shape and sensation as I thrust and wiggle it in and out of my body. An orgasm with this side has never disappointed and almost feels as if it’s sealed with the same affectionate detailing at the wax wrapping of the dildo itself. But the other side has its charms too.

I didn’t realize just how perfect the curve of this dildo was until Mr. Peaches took it out of my hands and slid the smoother end gently inside of me. At this point I realized that this end had the perfect curvature to provoke a particular curving motion which works wonderfully for partnered use. The angle is just right for an intuitive come hither motion which is easy to maintain due to the weightlessness of the material. Meanwhile the three bulb form of the other end acts as a brilliant handle.

Because this toy is noticeably petite we found that Mr. Peaches was also able to perform cunnilingus while rocking this dildo with complete ease, leading to experiences which were nothing short of exceptional. Anyone who doubts the value of a sex toy among loving couples has never sampled the sensations that a toy such as the Crowned Jewels Shaftsbury Aluminium ‘S’ Curve Dildo can provide. Simple as.

The design, material and overall level of care paid to the Crowned Jewels Shaftsbury Aluminium ‘S’ Curve Dildo give it a wonderfully decadent feel which is worth considerably more than its rather reasonable £69.99 price tag (I’ve known jelly toys to retail for more) but that’s not to say that the Crowned Jewels Shaftsbury Aluminium ‘S’ Curve Dildo is or everyone.

Although I love the Crowned Jewels Shaftsbury Aluminium ‘S’ Curve Dildo it’s worth noting the words I use to describe it. ‘Gentle’, ‘delicate’, ‘smooth’, ‘lightweight’, and ‘petite’. With an overall length of 6.85 inches and the aforementioned max girth of 1.15 inches this toy is an incredibly elegant offering which is almost dainty in execution.

When I pick up this toy my heart flutters and I know I’m in for a special experience but that experience is a tender one. The Crowned Jewels Shaftsbury Aluminium ‘S’ Curve Dildo glides seamlessly in and out of my body with faultless refinement but that won’t mean much if what you want if a heavy and hard fuck. This toy is not weighty, nor girthy, and offers nothing in terms of grab. It’s simply not what the Crowned Jewels Shaftsbury Aluminium ‘S’ Curve Dildo seeks to provide. This means that some users will ultimately find the Crowned Jewels Shaftsbury Aluminium ‘S’ Curve Dildo to be a dismally tame addition to their toy collection, despite its inherent beauty.

However this is completely personal preference and not reflective of the Crowned Jewels Shaftsbury Aluminium ‘S’ Curve Dildo as a product—which is, as I said before, practically faultless.

Final Thoughts

I’ve tried a lot of amazing toys in mind time and had many great orgasms, but it takes a special type of toy to provide this and more. To delve deep into my emotional core, appeal to my own sense of self-worth, and offer me precious memories which are truly priceless.

The Crowned Jewels Shaftsbury Aluminium ‘S’ Curve Dildo is one such toy and although this dildo may be gentle during use its impact on my overall sexual health and well-being is incredibly strong.

For those who are seeking a similarly subtle product with the ability to wow then I highly recommend the Crowned Jewels Shaftsbury Aluminium ‘S’ Curve Dildo. Crowned Jewels are a company that treats the art of the dildo with respect and this translates into each of their products.

Recommend to:

People who like gentle toys.
People who want a light metal.
People who like smooth toys.

Do Not Recommend to:

People who like larger toys.
People who like heavy metals.
People who want a P-Spotting toy with a flared base (Crowned Jewels say this can be used on the P-Spot but some people may still feel nervous doing so).

The Crowned Jewels Shaftsbury Aluminium ‘S’ Curve Dildo was provided to me by Crowned Jewels in exchange for an honest review. As of publishing Crowned Jewels are running a BOGOF offer, which is honestly ridiculous, so grab your own beautiful Crowned Jewels items sooner rather than later.