Product Review: The Earthly Body Edible Heart-Shaped Candle (Vanilla)

Okay, okay. I’ll admit that at first this product may seem like an odd choice to include in geek week, and some questions may be crossing your mind: How is this geeky? Where does it fit in to the image hint? And (most importantly) is the vanilla scent/flavour sickly sweet, or rich and smooth? Fear not! All of these questions and more will be answered in this review.

Firstly, how is this product geeky at all? Well, if you’re a sex geek you’ve probably already got an answer to that but my personal use of this product is perhaps a bit less conventional.

You see my muscles have been aching lately. Even as someone who works out daily I’ve found myself with sore knees, unhappy feet, and a grumbling upper back. Why? Well this is why:

Oh yeah (and I'm pretty sure the GPS has been missing some distance too).
Oh yeah (and I’m pretty sure the GPS has been missing some distance too).

That’s right: Ever since catching imaginary monsters became a viable daily hobby I’ve been hitting the pavement and heading to the seaside to catch ‘em all. And what better way to alleviate any Pokemon GO related soreness than with a deliciously deep massage? Who said you can’t mix pleasure with practicality.

The Earthly Body Edible Heart-Shaped Candle (Vanilla)

As massage candles go the Earthly Body Edible Heart-Shaped Candle definitely provides one of the more down-to-earth and earth conscious options out there. Earthly Body (the creators of this wonderful candle) have been in business since 1994 and are a family-owned company that put emphasis on environmentally, skin-friendly products. The result is a massage candle which is made from all-natural, food grade skin oils which are edible, vegan-friendly, and very gentle on the skin.

I'll admit that the image on this candle top looks cheesy, but it's what's inside that counts.
I’ll admit that the image on this candle top looks cheesy, but it’s what’s inside that counts.

In fact this candle isn’t just designed to be an erotic treat: The massage oils used within each candle is also designed to provide a deeply nourishing moisturising effect, leaving the skin supple and smooth after use. Again: Practicality and pleasure combined (and the perfect accompaniment to a long hunt for that elusive Vaporeon).

Pity me and my Vaporeon's terribly low CP.
Pity me and my Vaporeon’s terribly low CP.

Each candle provides 139ml of oil and will burn for several hours, providing ample massage oil for a romantic evening together.

Massage candles may seem daunting at first but I promise you that there’s nothing to fear. The oils used in the Earthly Body Edible Heart-Shaped Candle have a very low melting point, meaning that the oil itself is only slightly warm rather than hot. If in doubt, though, Earthy Body have actually provided a spoon with their product, allowing tentative new users to try some of their oil before applying it in other ways. The heart-shaped tin for this massage oil of course serves as the perfect receptacle for both romance and a good pour (with the bottom of the heart acting as a spout). Just make sure you’ve extinguished the flame before you actually start using the oil and you should be fine!

A spoon is included to allow users to test the waters and find what application method works best for them (Spoiler alert: For me it wasn't the spoon).
A spoon is included to allow users to test the waters and find what application method works best for them (Spoiler alert: For me it wasn’t the spoon).

Earthly Body provides these candles in five different flavours/scents: Cherry, Peach, Strawberry, Vanilla, and Watermelon and, while Peach was tempting, mine is Vanilla (a classic, after all). In my experience vanilla is a tricky scent to pull off because it has such a broad range and different people tend to have very different preferences in regards to their favourite flavour of vanilla. So, what was this candle like? In my personal opinion, amazing.

Delicately sweet (but not sickly), irresistibly creamy, and with a smooth aroma throughout this candle smelt just like a luxurious ice cream or the sweet vanilla mocha that you might find in your local Japanese restaurant. The scent itself is extremely subtle making its use a rather intimate experience. This does, however, mean that if you’re hoping for a scented candle that will fill the room with its tempting aroma then the Earthly Body Edible Heart-Shaped Candle might be a bit of a let-down.

Flavour-wise, too, this candle is extremely muted, proving that just because something is edible doesn’t mean that it will be overly flavoursome. Again, for me this was a bonus (I can think of nothing worst during a relaxing deep tissue massage than a tongue suddenly running its way across the arch of my back) but for some this may mean that the Earthly Body Edible Heart-Shaped Candle is ill-suited to their needs.

In terms of quality this candle knows how to deliver a superb massage experience.
In terms of quality this candle knows how to deliver a superb massage experience.

As a massage candle, though, the Earthly Body Edible Heart-Shaped Candle is exceptional. Both soothing and inviting when applied to the skin, the warmth of the Earthly Body Edible Heart-Shaped Candle when heated is just right to provide an experience that can be either comforting or sensual depending on your needs (or perhaps a bit of both). The oil itself is rich, thick and just as creamy as its aroma, but still manages to have a nice amount of glide. Its natural thickness means that it envelops the skin in a buttery layer of oil which enhances grip and encourages a deeper and more noticeable massage. If left on the skin afterwards this velvety layer persists and actively softens the skin.

In short this candle is a wonderful go-to for users who want a massage candle that actually provides the tools for a deep massage in addition to acting as a wonderful way to bond as a couple and journey towards more passionate pursuits.

However no product is perfect and the Earthly Body Edible Heart-Shaped Candle is no exception.

I’ve already mentioned some of the issues that people might have with this candle but, in addition to those, I also found that this candle did not like staying lit and would often extinguish itself while I was in the process of allowing the oil to melt. This is definitely something to keep an eye on, as you may be tempted to turn your eyes away from this candle only to find that it’s let you down when it comes to melting enough oil for use. Then again candles should be supervised anyway.

As wonderful as the candles oil is, it does (as I said in my pros) persist, meaning that some people may need to have a shower to rinse off the oil residue after use. This means that the Earthly Body Edible Heart-Shaped Candle isn’t really a viable option for a speedy rendezvous but, then again, who expects a massage session to be speedy anyway?

Final Thoughts

Overall I was incredibly pleased with this candle: both in terms of how it performs and the strong ethos behind the company. The subtle scent of this candle is divine and struck me as exceptional the first time I opened the tin. That the candle itself has delivered on the high standards that its aroma set for me is testament to its quality and I highly recommend it.

At £12.00 over at Sh! this candle is also one of the more accessible massage candles on the market too, which makes it an even better buy in my opinion (and a no-brainer compared to some of the more expensive brands). Just don’t expect a strong flavour or scent and be prepared for a very rich experience because this candle wants to pamper you almost as much as its user, and it’s not shy about making its presence known.

Recommend to:

People who like rich & buttery massage oils.

People who prefer subtle scents and flavours.

Vegans and the eco-conscious.

Do Not Recommend to:

People who prefer thin massage oils.

People who like strong flavours and scents.

People who want a hotter oil for sensation play.

The Earthly Body Edible Heart-Shaped Candle was provided to me by Sh! in exchange for an honest review. If you like this review then please do check out their fabulous online emporium here.