Toy Review: The Nereid by Tails and Portholes

Upon discovering the Tails and Portholes’s Etsy store it’s near-impossible not to be immediately captivated by the many nautical-based phallic wonders on offer.

Each beautiful creation catches the eye, and captures the imagination, and urges you to try and envision how they must feel. The textures, the colours, the sheer creativity. All of it comes together to create the perfect atmosphere of desire.

But when I first laid eyes on the Nereid it was not surrounded by a sea of similar silicone delights. Instead it was one of the only creations available at the time: A lone ambassador for the brilliance that resided in the mind of its creator, Brandie Harris. I pined after it for a fair amount of time before finally taking the plunge (pun definitely intended) and purchasing it.

By that time Brandie had also created the mighty Merman and was working on sculpting the Jellyfish and Coral Reef. Her collection of oceanic creations has now grown even more, becoming an incredibly impressive display of artistry and erotica combined.

But as this collection continues to expand I think I’ll always be affectionately attached to the Nereid. Not just because it was the first of Brandie’s toys to catch my eye, but also because it provokes orgasms in me that are so jubilant that you’d think Sebastian from The Little Mermaid had personally composed each and every one of them himself.

About Tails and Portholes

The Mermaid behind the scenes in all of this, Brandie Harris, created Tails and Portholes out of a sincere love for all things merfolk and ocean-inspired. Originally a hobby, Brandie’s dedication and unique designs have seen her humble Etsy store evolve into a treasure trove of delights for anyone craving a fanta-sea dildo of their own.


Part of this popularity comes from Brandie’s brilliant colour schemes which, much like her toys, have an enormous presence. With beautiful koi carp designs, Harry-potter inspired mixtures, and a willingness to create pretty much any colour combination you’d like (at an additional charge, because it’s only fair, c’mon) Brandie goes above and beyond in making people’s deepest desires a reality.

Some of the many colours available.
Some of the many colours available.

Many of Brandie’s toys also come in different firmnesses and a few have size variations too; which is good because, as I said before, some of the Tails and Portholes line is just too large for me to handle (albeit perfect for some).

The sheer diversity, design flare, and individuality apparent in every single Tails and Portholes creation is more than enough reason to snap one up but, on top of all of this, Brandie is a delight to talk to and my Nereid arrived safe, sound, and in its own storage bag too.

If I had one bad word to say about Brandie’s services it’s that your chosen colour combination may not come out exactly as you wish. For example I asked for my blog colours—black, pink, white, and red—hoping for more black, but mostly got red, pink and a sort of greyish white. The result is still stunning (a strawberry and cream sort of creation) but not necessarily what I had envisioned. But, hey, that’s no fault of Brandie’s. Sometimes it’s just how the silicone falls.

The Nereid

Sweet and simple in some regards, the Nereid is simply a sizeable, realistic-looking dildo with scales running down the mid-section of the shaft. This single change may not seem like much but it’s enough to add a whole new dimension of texture to the Nereid, in addition to creating its signature oceanic aesthetic.

Sporting an impressive set of scales, the Nereid is exactly what it needs to be.
Sporting an impressive set of scales, the Nereid is exactly what it needs to be.

Because this scale-based design is so beautifully minimalistic people who prefer to think of the Nereid as a dragon or other scaled fantasy creature are free to do so while those who wish to distance themselves from the idea of mounting a mythical creature are free to do so too. After all, the Nereid has more than its scales going on. It also has a prominent coronal ridge. A wonderfully chunky shaft (which bulges slightly at the middle) and a perfectly angled curve. The Nereid also has a sturdy base which makes it harness-compatible and anal-friendly (although the heft of this base might be a bit too much for some).

The Nereid is made out of silicone, which is non-porous, phthalate-free and completely body safe. This silicone has a grabby and somewhat clingy surface (and is one of the most persistent dust-magnets I’ve owned) but it lubes up very well and has a lovely, plush squish to it. This can vary depending on the firmness of the silicone though.

I ordered my Nereid back when dual-density was the main option. There are a few other options now but I can only really comment on the dual-density one, as that’s my point-of-reference. But, personally, I think it’s a brilliant option to order. Containing a firm core and covered in a squishy outer layer of silicone, the dual-density Nereid feels wonderfully squishy and is rivaled only by VixSkin in terms of squish (although, to be honest) the thickness of the Nereid makes it seem slightly squishier in my opinion).

Dual-density helps makes these scales feel like a dream come true.
Dual-density helps makes these scales feel like a dream come true.

The reason as to why I personally advocate for the dual-density silicone is because, well firstly dual-density is pretty much the bomb and dual-density should always be the first port of call if available. But, on a more practical note, it also helps soften the scales a bit, making the texture of them easier to take during thrusting.

The scales themselves feel incredibly pleasurable when sliding in and out of my body but they do take some warming up to and I can imagine that if they were any firmer I’d find them abrasive rather than pleasurable. However, you will have a better idea of your preference in terms of texture and firmness (and, if in doubt, Brandie does some adorable firmness samples).

For those who are apprehensive about larger sizes the dual-density option can also make taking the Nereid easier, as it provides a bit more give for insertion. The measurements for the Nereid are as follows:

Total Length: 6.5 inches

Usable Length: 6 inches

Head Diameter: 1.75 inches

Head Circumference: 5 inches

Shaft Diameter: 2 inches

Shaft Circumference: 5.5 inches

Which aren’t the most overwhelming out there, but the Nereid does feel ‘above average’ during use. So people who prefer smaller dildos may need to factor this in before they decide to purchase this toy.

2 inches is a stretch for me but, if I’m being honest, the softer silicone makes it so that the Nereid never quite feels this sizeable. Once I’ve inserted it and warmed up with a vibe the girth is no longer an issue at all, actually, and is instead one of the Nereid’s biggest allies. The most prominent sensation I get when using the Nereid is a sense of satisfied fullness, coupled with the persistence of the coronal shaft rubbing against my G-Spot due to the curvature of the shaft. As I naturally move the scales at the bottom of the toy work to compliment these sensations, adding another element to the experience by creating a slight tugging sensation at my vaginal opening. Not irritating, more inviting.

It does tend to take me a while to orgasm with the Nereid but when I do it almost feels like those moments where you playfully wrestle with your lover. There’s a distinct back-and-fourth of power dynamics as my orgasm swells and my vaginal muscles clench around the Nereid. Meanwhile its girth and texture seem to both urge my muscles to clench harder and force them to release, creating a powerful spasm which translates to a momentous degree of bliss.

This goes on for a considerable amount of time, too, making the Nereid a clear contender for best orgasm-sustaining dildo in my entire repertoire.

Naturally I have a great deal of affection towards the Nereid because of this, but that doesn’t mean that I have rose tinted glasses when it comes to this strawberry & cream creation and the Nereid (like all sex toys) is not without its flaws.

Many of these will come down to personal preference, though. If you dislike texture, girth, or realistic toys then the Nereid is probably not for you. If you prefer more texture then this may also be the blandest option in the Tails and Portholes store. However, to my mind you can’t beat a classic.

On a more objective note the Nereid has physical flaws too. Bumps and bulges, little nicks and nail marks. The Nereid is hand sculpted, hand cast and hand made by an individual artisan, after all, so it lacks the streamlined perfection of larger companies.

The Nereid has flaws, but these are what makes it so stunning and unique.
The Nereid has flaws, but these are what make it so stunning and unique.

To me this is fine. I don’t expect a flawless end-product, even from the pros, and I feel like this product more than compensates for its tiny imperfections. In fact I’d go as far as to say that it’s the very imperfections of the Nereid which assure its quality and status as a one-of-a-kind luxury piece. A practice in Wabi-Sabi if you will. It does mean that you need to be more vigilant during clean-up though.

Final Thoughts

The Nereid causes swells of pleasure in my body which seem to tap near-forcefully into the ocean of my sexual potency and I honestly can’t get enough of it. This toy is unique in every way and I can’t get enough of its stand-out sensations and the beautiful colour combinations that you can make with it.

The Nereid may not be a perfect phallus, but that doesn’t mean that it can’t embody perfection for you. I highly recommend it, and feel like many people will reap the benefits of this sea-faring silicone sculpture.

Recommend to:

People who love dual-density dildos.

People who love artisan pieces.

People who love texture and girth.

Do Not Recommend to:

People who prefer more texture.

People who dislike girth.

People who prefer uniform, factory-quality dildos.