Article: Emmeline’s Top 10 Tips to E-vulva Your Oral Sex Skills

There’s a new book in town for avid sex-centric readers. Tackling the tantalizing topic of the tongue and its sexual potency, author Amy J. Fillmore created How to Eat Pussy Like a Rockstar! after encountering multiple males who were either inexperienced with oral sex or simply afraid to try it.

Experiencing apprehension at the thought of trying something new certainly isn’t unusual, especially when that sensation is linked to worries about potential failure or sexual ineptitude. But fear of a new sexual experience should never stop you from trying. After all, we all started someone with the whole sex gig, so we all know what it’s like to start with the theory and gradually learn how to put it in to practice.

With that in mind I thought I’d compliment Amy’s latest publication with my own top 10 tips for becoming more confident with giving your female partner oral sex. No matter your sexual orientation or gender these should be sure to give you the oral boost that you need.

Cunnilingus can be incredibly pleasurable for everyone involved, so don't be shy about it.
Cunnilingus can be incredibly pleasurable for everyone involved, so don’t be shy about it.

1. Don’t Forget Your Foreplay

“But wait”, you might be thinking, “Isn’t oral sex a type of foreplay?”

Well…it really depends on how you define sex.

A 2010 study found 71% of its participants considered oral sex to count as a valid for of fully fledged sex. This marks some fantastic news in terms of redefining our conventional notions of what constitutes a meaningful sexual act, while also creating a much more inclusive sexual landscape for LGBTQI individuals, making oral sex a very potent act in more ways than one.

So if oral sex can be the ‘finishing line’ then it’s important to give it the build-up it deserves. This leads me on to my next few points…

2. Know Your Partner’s Anatomy

Part of the apprehension that some people can feel regarding cunnilingus is related to a lack of knowledge when it comes to female anatomy. If you feel like you’re going in blind then of course a situation is going to feel nerve-wracking so try and avoid this altogether.

Look in to the anatomy of female pleasure (and of literal female anatomy). Study the components of the female orgasm then ask your partner how this relates to them and what they like. Books such as Amy’s are great for this initial research. If you start by knowing what you’re aiming for then you’ll be in a much better position to get into position. Speaking of which…

3. Position Yourself

For some people getting into position for oral sex might be obvious, perhaps even routine. For others it will be a bit more of a challenge and some conventional positions may even cause pain.

Oral sex shouldn’t be something that you have to ‘muscle through’ or ‘endure’ and finding the right position is crucial for this.

Thankfully there are a lot of positions out there that are specifically designed to enhance oral sex. Take some time to pick out a few with your partner that appeal to you and then begin experimenting. Try out each position with a sense of exploration and excitement. Laugh it off if you fail, be vocal if something isn’t working and don’t be afraid to bring in a pillow or a blanket if needed.

Once you’ve found a position (or positions) that work for you then your oral experiences should feel much more accessible, comfortable and enjoyable.

4. Create a Full Body Experience

Feeding back into point number one, oral sex isn’t all about the tongue, or even the mouth in general. Sometimes a gentle caress, the squeeze of the breasts, or a light nose nuzzle on the neck can feel just as potent.

When engaging in oral sex it’s important to keep in mind your partner’s entire body rather than just focusing on the vulva. By doing this the entire body has time to enjoy the sensations, rather than feeling overwhelmed (or perhaps even overworked) in one area.

5. Learn How to Use Your Mouth

That being said it is still important that, when you do turn your mouth to oral, you know how to use it.

Notice how I said ‘mouth’ here instead of ‘tongue’. When you get started it might be tempting to go straight for a deep lapping motion or vigorous swirls, but there is so much more to oral sex than the stereotypical ‘power moves’.

Sucking and nibbling motions can be incredibly potent when easing your partner into the moment (and let’s not forget the good ol’ fashioned kiss either).

When you do eventually start using your tongue begin with light, slower sensations and begin to explore. Trust me, your partner will soon tell you if she wants you to speed up or add more pressure.

6. Avoid the Obvious

As with associating ‘oral sex’ with purely the tongue it can also be tempting to aim straight for the clit when beginning too. But this is a big no-no. The clitoris is an incredibly sensitive area (with over 8,000 nerve endings) and so it needs to be approached with care.

Before trying to go straight for the clitoris try stroking your partner’s thighs, sucking on the inner labia and performing slow and light circles around the clit but not directly on it. Again, your partner will soon tell you when a more direct approach is needed.

7. Embrace Lubricants

As an initiative to cunnilingus you may feel like you have to rely on saliva alone to truly master oral sex, but don’t!

Lubricants exist for a reason and that reason is sexual enhancement. Useful for any situation, lubricants provide a fun and judgement free way to explore different sensations during sex. And, of course, they can also help those who struggle with dryness or other issues.

You can even get flavoured lubricants to add another element to oral sex. Just make sure the lubricant you use is compatible with your partner’s body. You don’t want the moment ruined by a stinging sensation or an unwanted UTI.

8. Take Breaks When Needed

This one speaks for itself, really. Don’t ever feel like you need to continue oral sex if you’re experiencing discomfort.

As I’ve already said there are a lot of other things you can do to keep you both entertained while your jaw and tongue recover.

9. Don’t Just be Oral, be Vocal Too

We all know that there’s more to sex than the motions performed and your partner’s happiness is key to any action.

Be sure to check in while you’re performing oral sex. Ask her what’s working and what isn’t. Allow yourself to work off of her feedback to improve.

You can also take this opportunity to let her know just how much you love giving her oral sex, talk dirty, or just reaffirm how you feel about her. Whatever you say remember…

10. Honor Your Partner’s Body (and Boundaries)

Often centered on a single partner’s orgasm, oral sex can be one of the most intimate and loving ways to show your partner just how much you adore their body, so make sure they know this.

Use all of the tools above to truly lavish your partner with your undivided attention and let them know just how much you’re enjoying the action too. After all, women can be just as nervous when it comes to receiving oral sex as you are giving it.

Some partner’s won’t want to receive oral sex at all, and that’s fine too. In all cases make sure that you respect your partner’s boundaries and don’t pressure them into something because of your own enthusiasm.

That being said if oral is the way to go for you and your partner then I hope these 10 tips are of use to you!

Until the next review,

Emmeline.

This article was sponsored by Amy J. Fillmore whose newest e-book, How to Eat Pussy Like a Rockstar!, is available now. The post itself if reflective of my own thoughts and opinions on the topic of oral sex. If you liked what I have to say and want to know more about Amy’s book then do check out her site here.

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