Let’s face it: A lot of us set ourselves New Year’s Resolutions, but so few of us actually keep them. Excuses soon creep in and it’s just so easy to let things slip by the wayside. Still, it’s common knowledge in the sporting world that accountability is everything. If you have a partner rooting for you, driving you, working along with you, then it’s much easier to find the motivation needed to get things done.
This year I’m suggesting that we take things one step further. Why don’t you do you New Year’s resolution with your partner? Actually, no, why don’t you make your New Year’s resolution your partner?
Deciding that your relationship is the focus of your New Year’s resolution is a great way to make sure that you both have a fun and fulfilling year up ahead. What’s more it’s a great chance to become closer as a couple and to try a few new things. So, without further ado, here are 5 sexy New Year’s resolution suggestions and some advice on how to keep them.
#1 Take Time Each Month to Make Each Other Feel Special
Once a month set aside a day to show each other just how much you mean to each other. This may involve a candle lit massage, dinner at a fancy restaurant, or a moonlit walk on the beach.
As well as using some tried and tested clichés I also recommend that you get creative and cater to your partner’s personal interests. If you’re an artist then spend an evening painting your partner nude (or painting on your nude partner). If they’re a gamer create a personalized board or play a sexy adult game. Again, this is the time to prove to your partner just how much they mean to you so be sure to pour your heart into it.
You may choose to focus on one partner per session or you may cluster it into one special night but the important thing is to do this at least once a month. This means that no matter how hectic your daily life is you know that you’ve got some time for each other that you can thoroughly look forward to.
#2 Be Sexually Adventurous
Mix things up in the bedroom, move out of the bedroom, try something new. What matters is that you try to make things exciting and don’t let yourself stick solely to routine.
There’s nothing wrong with some comfort sex every now and then, but do it too much and you may find that the spark of sex starts to diminish. By trying something new there’s an unknown element in the mix and that can be pretty damned arousing.
A very good starting tool for being adventurous is a basic BDSM kit and a pinwheel. Both of these things have a sense of danger and excitement about them but neither will cause any unfortunate situations if used safely. No matter how lethal a pinwheel looks it’s pretty hard to hurt someone with it if it’s just rolled gently across the skin.
You could also try introducing sex toys into the relationship but if you’re here I’m going to assume that you’ve done that already, so good on you!
#3 Enjoy Your Own Company More (And Share the Love)
Masturbation often gets neglected in a relationship but it’s actually a great way to boost your confidence and your sex life.
If you’ve let your masturbation habits slip then take some time to reacquaint yourself with your body and find out what feels good for you. Pay attention to your pleasure points and enjoy the sensation of tipping yourself over the edge.
This may seem counterproductive to a relationship but this couldn’t be further from the truth. Gaining a familiarity with what works for you equips you with a powerful tool which you can then gift you your partner.
Guide them through your masturbation habits. Share with them what feels good and what doesn’t. Don’t be afraid to let them know when there’s room for improvement. If you’re familiar with your body (and share the love) then you’ll both have a better idea of how to pleasure each other.
It’s also important to make peace with the fact that you and your partner still like masturbating despite being in a relationship. After all, masturbation is an entirely different experience to sex; one which feels great solo and can enhance sex when used unashamedly. That’s something best embraced instead of dismissed.
#4 Fulfill One of Your Partner’s Fantasies
This one sounds easy on paper but it can be trickier in person.
Firstly you have to approach the topic without judgement. If your partner’s fantasy is something you’re uncomfortable with (but still want to try) then you may need to overcome some personal obstacles. If it’s something you cannot do then you’ll need to renegotiate and try something else while still making it clear that you don’t think less of your partner for their sexual proclivities.
Once you’ve picked out a fantasy to fulfill then next comes the fun part: planning. If you’re going to fulfill a fantasy then I recommend going whole hog. Costumes, ambiance, maybe even an elaborate accent. What you do depends on the fantasy but take pride in it and try to build up some excitement. Trust me, your partner will appreciate it.
If you’re including other people or a sex worker then it’s also important to make sure that they’re feelings and needs are catered to. Give everyone in the situation the respect they deserve and check in where needed.
Prior to the first fantasy fulfillment send a few sneaky texts or photos to build your partner’s anticipation. It’ll make the payoff all the hotter.
#5 Initiate More Sexual Activities
It doesn’t always have to be big, it doesn’t always have to be sex, but make sure that you try and initiate more sexual activities in the New Year.
Make sure these sexual acts are things you know you enjoy, instead of something you might see as a chore. If you’re wondering to yourself “Do I really fancy sex?” try doing something sexy and see where it leads rather than dismissing the opportunity. Carpe Diem. Seize the day. Embrace your sexual self.
If you don’t feel like doing something huge then try sexting or something arousing-but-relaxing like a massage.
If you don’t feel like initiating then, instead, try being open to your partner’s suggestions. You never know how your moods will shift when you’re caught in the moment.
However if you really don’t feel up to it on any given day then that’s okay too. Just because you’re striving to take more initiative doesn’t mean that you have to do it all the time and that’s fine too.
Hopefully these suggestions will help you create your own sexy New Year’s resolutions. Of course New Year’s resolutions are easier said than done so here are some tips on how to stick to your resolutions too:
- Making the resolutions is just as important as the resolutions themselves. Make sure you sit down and discuss exactly what you want out of your relationship in the New Year. I’ve focused mainly on sexual suggestions here but general relationship goals are just as valid. Communicate honestly. Allow yourself to feel vulnerable and support your partner when they do the same. This is no time to be hesitant or judgemental. This is the beginning of a new pledge in your relationship.
- Start strong and keep a routine. Make sure you put your all into your first attempt. If you’re resolution involves a monthly or weekly pledge then make sure to plan well in advance. Never let things slip or it will be easier to simply dismiss your commitment. Routine is essential.
- Check in with your partner every now and then but do so in a loving and accepting manner. Make sure you do so at the right time, preferably in the afterglow of an encounter. Don’t constantly check in or your partner may feel like things become a chore. The last thing you want it to create animosity because of your pledges.
- Accept that things won’t always go to plan. If you tried something new and it kind of flopped then simply laugh it off. These things happen and failure is part of the trial-and-error nature of trying something new. Don’t become frustrated in yourself or your partner. They, too, will sometimes be a victim of circumstances but what matters is that you do these things together, not that you succeed every time.
- If you feel like things are going particularly well then find ways to let your partner know. This can be as simple as a complement or as elaborate as a meal or another treat. Positive feedback is incredibly important, and knowing what works is as important as knowing what doesn’t.
And that’s all for now! I wish you all the best when it comes to your sexy New Year’s resolutions and hope that you discover something new and exciting to do together.
Until the next review!
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