Compiling this list has been incredibly difficult.This year has been absolutely amazing. I’ve been featured in Elle, wrote articles for Kiiroo and have even been featured in a Channel 4 mini-series. In September 2014 I celebrated gaining 1,000 followers on Twitter. This year I’ve reached the 2,000 and 3,000 milestones. I honestly can’t believe it.
It is because of your trust in me and your amazing support that I’ve managed to get this far. There is no Emmeline Peaches Reviews without all of you and I am full of gratitude. Because of that I wanted to make sure this list was full of nothing but the best. But, with over 130 reviews in the past year, it’s been hard whittling it down to a select few.
I’m going to be straight with you: I couldn’t get this review down to a top 10. I feel like there are too many products that you need to know about and restricting myself to 10 for arbitrary reasons seems wrong to me. But, on the other hand, there’s only so much I can write before I collapse and/or it becomes too long to be a good read.
With that in mind I’ve chosen a different format this year. No category will have more than 3 products in it, but within those categories there will also be up to 3 honorable mentions for the products that just missed the cut (where needed). This, I hope, makes this list a lot more manageable.
That being said it’s still pretty big so I’mma jump right in.
Happy 2015 y’all!
Best Dildos of the Year
The VixSkin Mustang
The VixSkin Mustang is the ideal realistic dildo. The secret to the Mustang is its VixSkin silicone; firm on the inside but with a soft, squishy outside that’s to die for. The design of the Mustang is also perfect for hitting my sweet spots. There’s no replicating what the Mustang does to me and I love it. It’s not the real deal but it does provide a natural sensation that I adore. Never change Mustang.
The Fucking Sculptures G-Spoon (Small)
Do I even need to say anything? This dildo has almost everything you could want. It’s brilliantly designed, perfectly executed, incredibly effective during use and flawless in appearance. In inspires the most lucid fantasies in me and ignites my passions in an effortless manner. Fucking Sculptures put love into each one of their toys and it shows. The G-Spoon is a fucking masterpiece and it demands attention.
The Tantus Uncut #1
I received a lot of Tantus products to review this year, I mean a lot. This section could have been entirely dominated by Tantus, if I’m honest, because their dildos are flawless. However, I picked the Tantus Uncut #1 because it marks a new era in the world of high quality dildos (also because I couldn’t find a reliable link to the Splash, sad face).
Not only is the Tantus Uncut #1 incredibly realistic, in terms of skin texture & details, but it’s also representative of an uncircumcised penis. The foreskin of the Uncut #1 isn’t even entirely retracted, making its uncut appearance even more prominent. I really admire this toy and hope to see more like it on the market.
Best Vibrators of the Year
The Swan Wand
For the longest time this toy rivaled my beloved Lelo Smart Wand (Large). How is this even possible? Well the Swan Wand is strong. Incredibly strong. And Deliciously rumbly to boot. It also has two different motors that can be controlled independently. It can be used externally or internally and both uses are equally exceptional. As if that wasn’t enough it can be combined with my Smart Wand to provide momentous orgasms that leave me in a blissful blur. ‘Nuff said.
The Motörhead Ace of Spades Vibrator
There were a few expensive vibrators that almost made the cut for this section but, honestly, I’d much rather give you hope that some cheaper products can be powerful too. Case-in-point: The Motörhead Ace of Spades Vibrator. This classic bullet vibrator is strong, rumbly, and absolutely fantastic. I underestimated it at first and I was wrong for doing so; this is a seriously fantastic toy and, at as little as £29.99, it is very affordable. What a rock star vibe!
The Minna Life Ola
The Minna Life Ola utilized Minna’s squeeze technology to allow you to intuitively control the vibrations. Many things factor in to why I love this toy so much: the perfect shape of the shaft; the deep vibrations it supplies; the firm material that applies the perfect amount of pressure. All of it comes together to give me fantastic orgasms. The Minna Life Ola is a winner, simple as that. It’s probably my favourite internal vibrator to date.
Best Innovators of the Year
The Womanizer & Womanizer W500
Like all of the other products in this category, the Womanizer and it’s updated version don’t fit neatly into any category. They’re not quite vibrators but, rather, little vacuums for your clitoris. The sucking sensation that these toys provide is wholly unique and, for some weird reason, it works and it works damned effectively. It’s up to you which version you go with. The Womanizer is fine as it is. The Womanizer W500 streamlines the toy a bit and adds some gentler and stronger settings. Pick which one you think will work best for you.
The Minna kGoal
A lot of companies have tried to make kegel exercisers more appealing or useful but the kGoal is the only one that succeeds in both regards. Using the aforementioned squeeze technology, the Minna kGoal provides live feedback for your kegel exercises through a handy-dandy app. The app provides fun-but-challenging workouts which help you improve your strength and control. It’s honestly the best kegel exerciser on the market.
If it weren’t for Meo I probably wouldn’t have reviewed the LoveArc this year, and that would have been a crying shame. Why? Because this product is fantastic. The LoveArc is essentially a metal device with the perfect arc to prop suction cup toys onto. It sounds simple in theory but the results in practice are exceptional. I’ve never been so enthused by my suction cup toys. I want more. All thanks to the LoveArc. If you have suction cup toys but feel like they go underutilized I can’t recommend this product enough. Just trust me here.
Best Couples Products of the Year
The Tantus Realdoe Slim
The Tantus Realdoe Slim fulfills so many roles for me. I can use it as an amazing dildo, a handjob/blowjob simulator, or just a prosthetic penis to wield with full confidence. However, the Tantus Realdoe Slim made it on to the couples list because it’s small enough to make strap-free pegging possible too.
Between being a fantastic G-spotter (with a handy handle for Mr. Peaches) and a wonderful dildo I can use on him for his anal enjoyment I really can’t recommend the Tantus Realdoe Slim enough. If you want to try a realistic pegging dildo that stimulates both partners and doesn’t rely on straps then the Realdoe Slim (the entire Realdoe line, really) is for you.
Find my Tantus Realdoe Slim Review here.
The Liberator Wedge
‘Liberator’ is certainly the best way to describe this piece of sex furniture. Thanks to the perfectly designed shape of the Liberator Wedge Mr. Peaches and I are able to enhance every position we try in addition to making new ones possible. The Wedge isn’t necessarily essential but it does amplify a myriad of positions, which makes it a real game changer in the bedroom. Now that I’ve tried it I wouldn’t be without my Wedge.
The Bad Dragon Lil’ Vibes Tongue
Okay this one is a bit of a cheat but I included it because it really has been a fantastic couples toy for Mr. Peaches and I. The Bad Dragon Lil’ Vibes Tongue can be purchased with a Bad Dragon vibe, but it can also accommodate the Tango. When used with the Tango it gets a little handle and lovers can basically hold on to the Tango’s base to gently manipulate the toy. Meanwhile the tongue itself is great for teasing a person’s sensitive areas and increasing their arousal.
Our Lil’ Vibes Tongue is so favored that we’ve even given it a nickname. That doesn’t happen often. In short this toy makes a fantastic product for playful couples who like indulging in fantasy.
Best Essentials of the Year
The Intimina Lily Cup Compact
This may be specifically for those who menstruate but it’s a very important essential item for those who do. For me I know that my year has gone a whole lot smoother thanks to the Lily Cup Compact. Menstrual cups in general are fabulous but this cup actually collapses for easy and discreet storage. The Lily Cup Compact is also a bit smaller and softer than some cups, which makes it ideal for me. If you’re sick and tired of tampons & pads and want to try and alternate product I highly recommend the Lily Cup Compact.
The Trojan Naturalamb Condoms
I’m a sucker for condoms and, sometimes, I want to feel like I’m using the top-shelf stuff. Mr. Peaches and I also love trying thinner condoms and alternatives to latex. Roll all of that into one and you’ve got the Trojan Naturalamb Condoms. At £28.99 I was expecting the Trojan Naturalamb Condoms to feel luxurious and I wasn’t disappointed. This condoms are a real treat to use and I relish every single condom. Of course these aren’t for everyday use but if you want to spoil yourself then the Trojan Naturalamb Condoms are worth sampling for yourselves.
Sliquid Naturals Satin Lubricant
While Trojan Naturalamb Condoms are a rare treat, Sliquid Naturals Satin Lubricant is something I wholeheartedly recommend for everyday use. This lubricant feels amazing natural. It perfectly blends with the body while also providing its own unique sensations. It’s elegant, it’s weightless and its, well, slick. This is one of my go-to water-based lubes and I highly recommend it.
Best Butt Products of the Year
The Crystal Minx Detachable Pony Tail
I don’t often do butt stuff, like at all, but I made an exception for the Crystal Minx Detachable Pony Tail. Why? Three words: Pony. Friggin. Princess.
The Crystal Minx Detachable Pony Tail is absolutely gorgeous and not a single curl is out of place on it. When wearing it you feel majestic. Divine. Like you could rule the world with rainbow lazers. On a more practical level the butt plug included is incredibly comfortable and even a beginner like me can wear it without much effort. Just be careful with how much lube you apply, or the weight of the tail might strip you of your royal title.
The Lelo Loki Wave
Mr. Peaches isn’t the biggest fan to the wavemotion technology for this toy but he pretty much adored everything else. The design, the angle, the wonderful vibrations that this toy’s dual-motors provides. The Leko Loki Wave is a fantastic toy to get intimate with, as you take control of the handle and embrace your desires. Lelo did an exceptional job with the Lelo Loki Wave and, even if you don’t like the wavemotion too, it’s worth paying a little extra for the additional motor.
The Tantus Vibrating Progressive Beads
The Tantus Vibrating Progressive Beads were our first anal beads and I am so happy that this was the case. These beads are beautifully designed to guide users into a comfortable anal bead experience. They provide some rather girthy and fulfilling sensations for beginner and intermediary users but never feel overly intimidating. What’s more there is a vibrating bullet sleeve at the bottom of the flared base and I’ll give you three guesses as to what can fit inside of it. Long story short, get one. Long story long, go and read my review.
Best Penis Products of the Year
The Fleshlight Ice Mouth Crystal
This one is mainly for me rather than Mr. Peaches. While Mr. Peaches found this to be a pretty standard Fleshlight I just couldn’t get over seeing his penis in action. Watching his shaft move through the texture of the Fleshlight Ice Mouth Crystal was incredibly alluring to me and had me basically mesmerized whenever I used it. Sadly it looks like the mouth version of this toy is no longer easily accessible but, thankfully other versions do still exist.
Check out my review of this see-through Fleshlight here.
The Oxballs CockSling 2
The Oxballs CockSling 2 is the iconic cock and ball ring and with good reason. If it weren’t for the fact that this cock product was made out of a semi-porous material it would be utterly flawless. However, as it stands, it’s still pretty damned exceptional. The extra give of the CockSling 2’s material is also needed to give it the delicious flexibility to easily accommodate most people’s junk while still keeping their shaft and balls firmly in place. It’s visual eye candy, it’s an orgasm enhancer for Mr. Peaches and it makes his shaft drive my G-Spot wild. What more can I say?
Best Kink Products of the Year
The Tantus Pelt Paddle
This is another list where I could have easily put more than one Tantus item but I’ve stuck to one because I’m a good girl.
When I want to be a bad girl, however, I pull out the Tantus Pelt or misbehave enough that Mr. Peaches decides to ‘punish’ me with it.
The Tantus Pelt Paddle is a fantastic impact device that shouldn’t be underestimated. Minimal effort can gain some very sharp sensations whereas I dread to think what a hard thump would do. It’s a wonderful paddle that has you craving it while simultaneously cringing at the sight of it. I could gush for days over this paddle.
The Kink Craft Figure-8 Handcuffs
Whether you buy these cuffs ready made or make them yourselves, the Kink Craft Figure-8 Handcuffs are a delight. Made with paracord, the Kink Craft Figure-8 Handcuffs embody simple practicality while still managing to be absolutely gorgeous. As I said before Kink Craft offers these cuffs ready made or you can actually make your own with the guidance of some easy to follow tutorials. My advice: try your hand at some creative kink by making your own. It makes the finished product all the more special. Also you can convert the cuffs into a collar. How neat is that?
Best Reads of the Year
OhJoySexToy Vol. 1-2
As with all of these selections, I’ve been following OhJoySexToy online for a while now and I love it to bits. Imagine a review site but purely in comic form. No, I’m not doing OhJoySexToy justice there. Imagine a comic that talks about sex and sexuality in all its multiple fantastical forms all while staying playful and informative throughout. Now imagine that comic got two wonderful physical publications with bonus content and WIP shots. That is what you get with OhJoySexToy Vol. 1-2.
These two books are beautifully bound, wonderfully illustrated and are generally all-around amazing. Give them all the love in the world because they definitely deserve it. Also check out OhJoySexToy’s website for weekly comics and maybe become a patron of theirs over at Patreon if you like what you see.
Sunstone Vol. 1-3
Sunstone makes me melt. It fills me with warm fuzzy feelings and puts a smile on my face. It can also, depending on the chapter, leave me an emotional wreck screaming internally for the next chapter to be released. Sunstone follows the story of Lisa, a new sub, as she decides to meet her first domme, Ally. The two initially meet up to fulfill each other’s sexual desires but soon find that they mean more to each other than either one had expected.
Sunstone is an erotic comic that is much more about the characters than the sex. That’s not to say that it isn’t arousing (it totally is) but Sunstone feels like it has that little bit extra. You feel like you know each character, like they’re real, and you get invested. Because of this each intimate scene is even more rewarding as you find yourselves rooting for these two kinksters to tell each other how they feel already!
Elsewhere Vol. 1
I made sure to get my Elsewhere Vol. 1 review out yesterday specifically so that it could make this list.
Elsewhere is a fantasy-based adult comic in which various magical races mingle and sexual liberation is much more accepted. Our main character, Delidah, is a tomboyish Dryad with a mighty need for all things sex-related. As the reader we get to watch her wild romp through the city of Elsewhere and its surrounding woods.
Elsewhere Vol. 1 puts some of the initial online comics into pdf form and reworks some of the earlier comics. There’s also bonus content including extra artwork, some sketches, and an ‘origins of Elsewhere section’. Support Elsewhere buy buying this lovely pdf or, even better, support the comic monthly through Patreon.
Best Geeky Products of the Year
The Wondrous Vulva Puppet
The Wondrous Vulva Puppet doesn’t fit neatly into any of the other categories, but that doesn’t mean its not worthy of note. This precious piece of puppetry opens up discussions about female sexuality with ease. It’s beautiful and abstract while still maintaining all of the most important anatomical components and, most importantly, the emotional feel of a vulva. I personally fee privileged to own one of these amazing puppets and wholly recommend them to sex educators and whose interested in spreading sex positivity.
Floral Penis Blanket (Rainbow)
I pined over the Floral Penis Blanket for ages. Staring at its beautiful rainbow colouration. It’s delicately floral design. It’s throbbing cocks and precious flaccid (and uncircumcised) penes. The design of this blanket (and, indeed, the entire line) is absolutely perfect and I knew I had to have it. Then Mr. Peaches treated me to the largest one and I almost died from delight.
In person the Penis Blanket is even more amazing. Made from a poly-fleece blend, the Penis Blanket is wonderfully soft and probably the most comfortable blanket I’ve ever owned. I haven’t reviewed the Penis Blanket but I am snuggled up under it right now and this is often the case when I’m writing a review.
Get it. It’s the ultimate comfort blanket for cock lovers.
Sex Positive Stickers and Prints
If you plan on purchasing the Vulva Puppet and Penis Blanket then you’ll need some appropriate stickers and posters to accompany your new sex geeky purchases. Personally I’ve purchases sex-based items from two sellers this year—Sabrina Elliott and Iguanamouth—both of whom are worth checking out.
Sabrina’s stickers and prints are absolutely gorgeous and often include lovely ladies with a sexy edge. I have no issue with my many orders and treasure each item. I especially recommend her “Play With Me” print and “Lady Switch Blade” stickers.
Meanwhile, Iguanamouth does fun prints and stickers mainly revolving around dragons. Their dragon hoard range isn’t all sex related but their Hoard of Sex Toys and Hoard of Dildos prints certainly are (not to mention adorable, in the case of the latter). You can also get these prints as stickers by requesting them.
Igunanamouth is a true joy to work with. They personally sketch on each package and leave a custom note and a discount card inside your order. I’ve never felt so loved for buying a dragon dick print before in my entire life. Definitely check them out!
Aaaand that concludes my top toys list of 2015. Phew!
If you’ve made it to the end and want to show me some love then please do consider making your purchases through the affiliate links included in this post. Doing so will make sure that Emmeline Peaches Reviews starts out strong in the New Year.
There will be a few more reviews in December but this will be the last gigantic post of the year. I hope you have a wonderful festive season and that you spend it with the one/s you love.
Until the next review!