Toy Review: The Motörhead Ace of Spades Vibrator

When you review sex toys, some things just stay the same,

The good toys, bad toys, they come predictably.

But sometimes there’s a toy, that surprises you beyond joy.

In pleasure it succeeds, the sex toy that you need is,

The Ace of Spades! The Ace of Spades!

Yes, I just started this review with parody lyrics. No, I don’t have any regrets, because this toy is amazing.

As my improvised lyrics suggest, you can sometimes become jaded as a sex toy reviewer. This was the case with the Motörhead Ace of Spades Vibrator. I won’t lie; I looked at this toy online and instantly dismissed it. “Meh, just another bland bullet vibe” I thought to myself. Oh boy was I wrong.

It was through a pure stroke of luck that KissKiss.ch provided me with this toy for review and I was suddenly forced to give it a chance. Thank you KissKiss.ch. You are awesome.

Finally there’s an affordable, body-safe, powerful bullet vibrator that I can wholeheartedly recommend with overwhelming enthusiasm. Because, yes, this toy is legitimately a powerhouse, despite its conventional bullet façade.

Get ready to rock with the Motörhead Ace of Spades Vibrator.

The Motörhead Ace of Spades Vibrator

As mentioned before, the Motörhead Ace of Spades Vibrator looks like a very standard bullet vibrator. It’s on the larger end—with a 7.25 length and a 4-inch circumference—but it is still very comfortable when held or applied to the vulva. Its larger shape also means that it can be inserted, which is a definite bonus for those who prefer strong internal vibes.

This toy means business.
This toy means business.

With a beautiful stylistic design, the Motörhead Ace of Spades Vibrator is black and is embossed with the Motörhead logo. The Motörhead Ace of Spades Vibrator also has a roaring Snaggletooth on its shaft, which is perfect because the vibrator itself is roaring with power. But more on that later.

The Motörhead Ace of Spades Vibrator is made out of ABS plastic but has a silky smooth matte finish to it which adds a nice feel. Because it’s made out of ABS plastic it is phthalate-free, non-porous, and totally body-safe, which is fantastic. It’s also completely submersible, so it can be easily cleaned and used in the bath or shower.

At CHF 59.90 the Motörhead Ace of Spades Vibrator retails at about £40 at KissKiss.ch (it can also be found for less if you’s a UK resident shopping at UK retailers). To me that is a very reasonable price for a vibrator of this quality.

The Motörhead Ace of Spades Vibrator does require batteries—3xAAA to be precise—but I really don’t mind this. Whereas typically I would begrudge feeding a sex toy batteries putting them into the Motörhead Ace of Spades Vibrator feels appropriate. It’s like I’m fuelling it or providing suitable tribute for the delights it will provide me with. In short I feel like its oomph justifies the amount of batteries that it requires.

The batteries in this vibrator goes straight to the rock gods.
The batteries in this vibrator goes straight to the rock gods.

This vibrator only has a single button at the top, which makes it very easy to use. All you have to do is hold and press it to turn it on/off and imply press it to filter through its settings. The Motörhead Ace of Spades Vibrator has seven different settings—3 of which are constant speeds with varying intensities and 4 of which are patterns. When you turn the Motörhead Ace of Spades Vibrator off it will remember the last pattern you used and that will be what it turns on to next time.

When it comes to the vibrations, well, what can I say? They far exceeded my expectations and I adore them. When I first turned on this vibrator I said “wow” out loud, and that looped as I ramped up the settings. I am sincerely impressed that an affordable bullet like this can produce such exceptional vibrations.

The vibrations start with a very low, flickering rumble which, despite being the first setting, is still very impressive. It’s certainly resonant and I can feel its quivering throughout my thighs during use. The second setting, my personal favourite, has a bit less of a low jitter to it and, instead, has a more consistent rumbling hum. I can easily orgasm on the first setting with this bullet but the second allows for consistent, strong and prolonged orgasms. While writing this review I actually have the Motörhead Ace of Spades Vibrator tucked between my thighs on the second setting and, I swear, I could probably orgasm from it if I wanted. Fully clothed. From 0 to the Big-O.

The last consistent setting has more of a buzz to it but is deep and strong regardless. Continuing my in-thigh test of the Motörhead Ace of Spades Vibrator, while writing this section of the review I just ramped it up to this setting and had to turn it back down. Why? Well the vibrations travelled so much that they actually caused some of the fixtures on my desk chair to start rattling. Yeah.

In each of these continuous vibrations is a subtle quivering element that adds to the vibrations. In my mind I liken it to a singer who is belting out a power ballad; voice strong but with a sensual, shaky undertone. Needless to say this makes using the Motörhead Ace of Spades Vibrator even more delightful and works well to add a distinct nuance to this already exceptional bullet vibrator.

If you love strong toys there really is no question as to whether you should own this toy or not. The answer is yes. Like I said, I climax on the second setting, and I’m usually a notorious power queen. The Motörhead Ace of Spades Vibrator needs to be experienced to be believed and It comes at a price that makes it affordable to experience.

All that being said, this is not a perfect vibrator.

As you can probably guess, with rock star power comes a rock star noise level and the Motörhead Ace of Spades Vibrator is not a quiet toy. I think if you played some actual Motörhead in the background while using it then you’d probably be fine, but if you value discretion and need a whisper-quiet toy then this isn’t it.

A single button can be limiting.
A single button can be limiting.

I also do find the Motörhead Ace of Spades Vibrator’s memory feature to be a bit annoying. Yes, I may have built up to the third setting last time I used it, but that doesn’t mean I want to instantly start on it next time around. To add insult to injury the single-button design means I have to sift through all of the other settings to get back to the first one. Not ideal.

Still those are very minor nit-picks about an otherwise exceptional vibrator. I’d rather jam with this toy than slam it any day of the week.

Final Thoughts

Overall I am incredibly happy and remarkably impressed with the Motörhead Ace of Spades Vibrator and recommend it to anyone who is looking for a strong, affordable vibrator with no strings attached.

The Motörhead Ace of Spades Vibrator really does embrace the wild style of the world of rock and delivers an impressively powerful experience which will leave you coming back time-and-time again. And, even though this does look like a very standard bullet vibe looks can be deceiving. Besides sometimes you can’t beat a classic.

I guess with Motörhead involved I should have expected no less.

Recommend to:

Power Queens.

Bullet lovers.

Fans of patterns.

Do Not Recommend to:

People who like gentle vibrations.

People who need a G-spot curve.

People who dislike ABS plastic vibes.