Product Review: The Happy Lola Bondage Flower & Flogging Paddle

Sextoys.co.uk kindly provided me with the Happy Lola Bondage Flower & Paddle upon my request.

Why did I request these items? Well, just look at them! I mean, really. The packaging is just so adorably vintage yet refreshingly modern. I simply couldn’t help myself.

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The Happy Lola Takeaway Love Collection (which these two products come from) is trying to cater to those who want fun and visually appealing products at affordable prices.

The whole line has somewhat of a boutique vibe to it and it generally has a lot of what you’d expect; there’s a sexy chequebook, a remote control bullet vibrator, and even a rubber duck to name just a few.

Each item comes in a gorgeous little box and basically delivers on the premise—these are classic toys that you can easily purchase and use basically straight away. They’re somewhat timeless, reasonably playful, and even a little bit kitsch as sex toys go.

Affordable products are something I’m always on the hunt for, so I was excited to find out how these products performed. As it turns out my two products were a bit hit and miss (pun definitely intended).

The Happy Lola Bondage Flower

The Happy Lola Bondage Flower is a beautiful, versatile little piece of fabric which folds into a flower for easy storage. This flower comes with a ribbon, allowing it to be tied around a body part in a decorative tease.

The packaging for the Bondage Flower is very pretty.
The packaging for the Bondage Bow is very pretty.

Imagine approaching your partner knowingly, wearing this elegant object as an unsuspecting necktie. You stroke their shoulder as you pass by before seductively untying the bondage flower from your neck—allowing its silken ribbons to elegantly compliment your form as you remove the flower completely. Then, masterfully, you liberate the flower’s satin ruffles and unveil your true intent; to tie your partner up and pleasure them without restraint.

Okay I’m bad at erotica, but you get the point.

There’s a lot of potential for seduction build straight into the Happy Lola Bondage Flower. It’s something that can be utilized as part of the pre-sex ritual or perhaps even worn out and about as a sexy little secret.

How you decide to use this flower is up to you.
How you decide to use this flower is up to you.

The Bondage Flower is easy enough to unfurl as it’s essentially just an elastic band that keeps it in place. The instructions suggest that the Bondage Flower is also easy to make back into a flower again, stating that ‘You will quickly notice how it takes on the shape of a flower on its own’.

I have to admit I’m not great at delicate folds, so the process was a bit tedious for me but I still managed to make a half-decent flower on my first attempt.

The Bondage Flower comes looking immaculate but (depending on your level of skill) it may not stay that way.
The Bondage Flower comes looking immaculate but (depending on your level of skill) it may not stay that way.

The Bondage Flower can be used as a blindfold or a simple satin tie and it works fine for both. It’s passable but by no means exceptional. The main allure really does come from its clandestine design.

As a blindfold it’s the type where you can see through it if you open your eyes but they’re best kept shut. Not for a trust reason but for a comfort reason—the satin of the Bondage Flower scraped against my eyelashes every time I tried to open my eyes. They were definitely better kept shut.

Still it did mean that I got to enjoy the blindfold as intended and it did do the job.

As a tie it is, again, acceptable. The material doesn’t feel as comfortable as it could but it does stay tied.

The biggest issue I have with the Bondage Flower is that the silken ribbon and elastic band are sewn into the Bondage Flower, right in the center. This is annoying at the best of times but it just looks downright goofy when using this product as a blindfold (unless you have them on the inside; there’s a way to tuck them into place built into this product but it still feels a bit awkward).

This downside won’t be a mood killer for everyone but it just didn’t work for me. Overall the initial subterfuge of this item is much more enjoyable than the actual use of it in my opinion. The end result does get the job done but I feel like there are other products on the market at a similar price which could do it better.

The Happy Lola Flogging Paddle

Yowza, this toy has a sting to it! When my partner first hit me hard with this paddle I swore, a lot. From that point on I braced for impact every time we tried to make a heart appear on my skin. I knew pain was incoming, and a fair amount of it too.

This paddle can pack a punch.
This paddle can pack a punch.

The Happy Lola Flogging Paddle is simple enough to describe. Made from 100% leather this paddle is mostly rigid up until the tip. At that point the tip splits and a love heart shape is cut out of the material.

The idea is simple enough—decorate your partner in hearts with each smack. But the Happy Lola Flogging Paddle is more formidable than it seems. Its split tip is like the flicker of a viper’s tongue; it’s deadly.

Okay I may be exaggerating a bit, but the Happy Lola Flogging Paddle really can deal out some damage.

The tip splits allowing for this toy's sharp sensations.
The tip splits allowing for this toy’s sharp sensations.

Every paddle that I used prior to the Happy Lola Flogging Paddle had somewhat of a dull thump to them (even if accompanied with a sting). But the Happy Lola Flogging Paddle doesn’t mess around with that. This paddle is all sting most of the time.

Gentler hits feel like a sharp slap but the harder hits give an energizing rush of sharp pain which can be quite intense. I’m a bit of a wimp when it comes to seething jolts of pain so the Happy Lola Flogging Paddle definitely met my threshold, and quite promptly too.

This section can be very sharp when it makes impact.
This section can be formidable when it makes impact.

In order to get a love heart imprint you actually have to put quite a lot of effort into the smack too. It’s literally a no pain, no gain situation, which is delightfully wicked. I admire anyone who can endure the kind of spank that would induce a long-lasting love heart with this paddle; you definitely earned it like a champ.

I really do adore this paddle for its biting ways but I do feel like those who dislike stinging sensations may find this paddle to be too much.

While it is suitable for beginners I also feel like some people on the tamer side of the kink spectrum might also dislike the level of pain that is needed to get a love heart mark on their skin.

Other than that, though, I was really impressed with this product and think it would be a nice little addition to people’s paddle collection.

Final Thoughts

Although the Bondage Flower wasn’t as much of a success for me as the Flogging Paddle having a taste of the Happy Lola Takeaway Love Collection left me with a certain amount of optimism for the rest of the line.

The Happy Lola Takeaway Love Collection knows its audience and it seems to be catering to them well. The products themselves are well-made and most of the issues that I encountered were personal preference or issues that won’t bother everyone.

This collection contains please-all products, which means that some people will be left unfulfilled, but it does allow Happy Lola to target those who don’t have specific tastes or pre-set notions of what works for them.

Both products also had a little erotic story in the instruction manual to set the mood, which was a nice touch.

The only thing I wish that Happy Lola would avoid is catering purely to cisgendered, heterosexual women in pretty much all of their marketing material. I get why it’s done but is it really necessary? I don’t think so.

Is this really necessary?
Is this really necessary?

If you’ve read my review and Happy Lola’s newest range intrigues and excites you then why not head over to Sextoys.co.uk and check out what’s available? You can get an exclusive discount using the code below.

Recommend to:

People who want sex toys on the go.

People who like boutique designs.

People who want affordable BDSM items.

Do Not Recommend to:

People looking for high luxury items.

People who have specific needs.

People who are indifferent to the packaging.

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  • Billy

    Could you please explain why that packaging is catering purely to cisgendered, heterosexual women.. I genuinely do not understand! Thanks

    • Of course! As you can see in the last photo of the paddle’s packaging it says “You have been a bad girl, a very bad girl”.
      This indicates they are expecting a female buyer.
      When you look at the erotic stories included they were both about a woman’s perspective talking about her experience with a man.
      The image for the chequebook solidifies this dynamic even more:
      http://www.sextoys.co.uk/whats-new/happy-lola-amorous-fantasy-chequebook.html
      Hope that helps clarify the point!

      • Billy

        Thanks for the reply. I am still not completely clear on why the girl referred to on the packaging has to be heterosexual (or cisgendered), but I take your point that if the person on the receiving end identified as a man they could feel a bit left out. I didn’t notice a chequebook but I think non-cisgendered, heterosexual women use them as much as anyone.

        • I can imagine they do (I hope they do), but Happy Lola’s branding seems very keen to present themselves as catering to a hetero relationship from a cisgendered woman’s perspective.
          It won’t affect many–the majority won’t think twice about it and the majority are used to being overlooked (as much as it sucks)–but it was worth noting from my stance.