Wow, how time flies!
It was around this time in 2013 that I started playing with the idea of starting an adult review blog (an idea not realized until the beginning of January) and I can’t believe how far I’ve come since then.
In the past year I’ve tried a huge amount of toys—some wonderful, some average, and some downright horrible—and I’ve learnt more about myself in the process. I’ve grown as a person, I’ve found my G-spot, and worked as hard as I could to give you the best reviews possible. You showed me your appreciation by voting for me to be part of Kinkly’s Sex Blogging Superheroes list and I couldn’t be more grateful for that. Call me sentimental but I am blown away by your support and ongoing readership.
So to give the year a proper goodbye I thought I’d look back at some of my favourite products of 2014—things I loved so much that I still use them regularly to this day (or, in the case of one product, dream about owning wistfully).
This list isn’t comprehensive by any means—and there were some toys that I sadly just narrowly missed the cut—however these are the toys that have stood out the most for me. I hope you enjoy this list and that it can help you gain as much pleasure in 2015 as I’ve had in 2014.
Best Dildos of the Year
This one was a no-brainer. The nJoy Pure Wand has long been recognised as a G-spotting icon. My experiences with it just confirmed what everyone else has already said. While the Pure Wand did not cause me to squirt it did allow for some strong, smooth orgasms. A testament to this toy’s well-chosen material and shape.
The Mother Interior
This was a product I couldn’t resist. Made by the brilliant Hole Punch Toys, the Mother Interior is on the larger side and provides bumps and curves that can’t help but caress the vaginal walls. Orgasms with the Mother Interior are intense, rolling, and prolonged. I don’t use this toy all the time but, when I do, I know that I’m in for a divine experience.
Boy oh boy, do I love this dildo. The Coq-A-Teal is beautiful, smooth, and effective. With a small stature this dildo is a delightful little treat for both vaginal and anal play. Because this toy is so unassuming it could make a great beginners toy too and I’ve readily recommended it to one of my friends. While the Coq-A-Teal may seem small the pleasure it can provide is vast. My G-spot loves this toy and so do I.
The Structured Orchid came to me from France—a unique wooden dildo designed for vaginal play. When I first got this toy I was uncertain as to what to think about it, but now I’m confident—this is one of the best G-spotting dildos available. The Structured Orchid is a perfect fit for me and other reviewers have felt the same way. If you have a vagina then I’m pretty sure you’ll appreciate the Structured Orchid.
Another larger toy but one that I think is worth working up to. The Tantus Cush is a toy that not only provided me with fantastic orgasms during use but also enhanced my orgasms overall. Having my muscles contract and hug around the head and ridges of the Cush gave them a thorough workout while I enjoyed the elated sensations that such intense orgasms provided. The Cush and the Mother Interior feel very similar in this way, but it was the Cush that first introduced me to these sensations and, for that, I will always hold it in high regard.
When I don’t want my G-spot to be pressed upon too firmly but still want an incredible orgasm then I pull out the BS Alex. Made of silicone and sporting some absolutely gorgeous decorative features, the BS Alex is a gentle ride that caresses my vagina in a tender but somehow still pronounced manner. Orgasms come readily with the Alex and sometimes I can’t help but crave its delicate touch.
Best Vibrators of the Year
Two words; Intuitive controls. The Minna Limon is a quirky little clitoral vibe which can be controlled by squeezing it. Not only this but custom made patterns can be locked in—making it a must-have for pattern lovers. I love the Minna Limon so much because it allows me to effortlessly control the vibration intensity at the point of orgasm—a crucial aspect that so many other vibrators lack. With deep, rumbly vibrations the Minna Limon has a lot to offer for the right owner.
Another great clitoral vibe, the We-Vibe Touch offers an impressive amount of power for such a small vibe. Deep, rumbly, and resonant, the vibrations from the Touch can bring me to orgasm in record times—leaving Mr. Peaches reeling at the speed of it all. If you’re looking for a small vibe with a lot of power then the We-Vibe Touch is practically unrivaled. If you want a bullet vibe there’s also the We-Vibe Tango (which narrowly missed the cut for this list).
I’m going to put a disclaimer on this one and say that the Revel Body SOL is not exactly a vibrator, but rather a sonic pulsator. Because of this the SOL isn’t for everyone (especially those who require pressure to orgasm). However the sensations that the SOL provokes in me are so overwhelming that I simply had to put it on my list. Producing a gentle pounding sensation the SOL can cause deep throbbing orgasms that leave me literally breathing out “oh my god” in the most clichéd manner possible. If the SOL isn’t your thing then I understand however if you can get it to work for you then it’s phenomenal.
The Doxy Massager wasn’t as rumbly as I had hoped but there is no denying its strength. This wand is the strongest product I own. No other wand can rival it in sheer, unbridled power—just when I think I’ve got it to max power I press the + button and gasp with glee as the intensity ramps ups even more. If you’re a power queen then the Doxy is most likely the answer to your prayers.
The Lelo Mona Wave only recently came out but it’s unique sensations and strong vibrations have earned it a sure place on this list. Taking the cult classic, the Lelo Mona 2, and adding a new twist to it the Lelo Mona Wave’s shaft wiggles slowly up and down in a ‘come hither’ motion. This additional feature allows the Mona Wave to provide tides of pleasure and a rolling orgasm that leaves me in a stupor. And, if you don’t fancy the wiggle motion, you can always turn them off and use the Mona Wave as a conventional vibrator. What’s not to love about that!
It has to be said; I adore my Lelo Smart Wand (Large). This is my favourite wand, my favourite clitoral vibe, practically my favourite toy, period. When I’m masturbating with a new dildo I use this toy clitorally. When a clitoral tester has brought me to the brink of frustration (with no orgasm in sight) I cast it aside and grab for this wand. When I just want a selfish play-session I seize this toy without a moment of hesitation.
The Lelo Smart Wand (Large) is my old reliable—the toy I return to willingly without fail. The Lelo Smart Wand (Large) has some of the deepest most rumbly vibrations that I have ever felt and I’m a complete and utter sucker for them. I could gush about this toy all day but instead I’ll say that if you crave power and need rumbly vibrations then look for further than the Lelo Smart Wand (Large). It is my deepest hope that it will serve you as well as it serves me.
Best Kegel Exercisers of the Year
Nothing quite beats a good pair of jiggle balls and the Lelo Luna Pleasure Beads are the best of them all. With weights of various sizes and a secure silicone sleeve the Lelo Luna Pleasure Beads allow you to customize your workout as you progress with your kegel exercises. Not only that but these beads provide a jiggling sensation that makes every workout an enthusiastic treat. These beads can bring me to the brink of climax through jiggles alone, which is pretty damned impressive.
Electro stimulation may sound like a scary foray into the more extreme aspects of the fetish community but, in truth, it’s actually a very safe and enjoyable experience—one which is as gentle or as intense as you want it to be. When used internally electro stimulation causes involuntary muscle contractions which are similar to those you have upon orgasm. Because of this it seems like a stroke of genius to utilize these contractions for kegel exercises. ElectraStim did just that and I applaud them for the results. The ElectraStim Lula Beads are my favourite kegel exercisers to use. Shocking, I know.
Best Essentials of the Year
There’s a reason that I avoid using the term ‘slick’ in most of my lubricant reviews, and that is because Sliquid products are the embodiment of this word. No lubricant is as smooth or slick as Sliquid is, period. Sliquid is my go-to lubricant brand and Sliquid H20 is one of many great products that they produce. Acting as their standard water-based product, Sliquid H20 is a bit too thin for use anally but is fantastic for practically everything else. Oh and it’s vegan. It doesn’t get much better than that.
A thin, smooth lubricant that allows for fantastic sensations and tastes phenomenal. When used on Mr. Peaches this product allows for lubrication without being so thick as to dull sensation—enhancing it instead. When applied to my vulva I feel as if I’ve being slathered with a luxury product while also feeling naturally wet. Taste-wise this lubricant is flawless—no chemical tang or unpleasant after taste. If you like Mocha products then you’ll most likely adore the taste of Wicked Mocha Java, I know I do.
Another delicious product for oral sex, Sliquid Cherry Vanilla provides all of the slick sensations of a Sliquid product but adds a delicious flavour that tastes like a cherry bakewell or a similarly scrumptious cake-based delicacy. If that sounds nice to you then you’ll probably like this lubricant. If not then Sliquid has other flavours to try too.
Überlube claims to be the “champagne of silicone lubricants” and throughout my testing it was hard to disagree. Überlube only has four ingredients—three of which are a type of silicone and the last of which is Vitamin E for its skin-nourishing benefits. Überlube is a sheer pleasure to use and allows for a sleek and glossy experience. This product also comes in a variety of packaging—some of which are incredibly stylish and/or discreet. What more could you want?
Ever since my partner and I started using silicone anal toys I’ve wanted a way to get the butt-scent off of those silicone toys. Enter the Keep Burning Toy Cleaner. As a company that prides itself on a wide array of anal toys Keep Burning provided the perfect cleaning product for reducing any residual odour that might linger on toys. Further than this the Keep Burning Toy Cleaner also leaves any toy it’s used on squeaky clean and with a fresh new feeling and appearance. I love using this cleaner on metal and glass toys and I’m so happy that I’ve found a cleaner that can finally banish butt smells from my toys.
Mr. Peaches’ Favourite Products of the Year
A perfect beginners plug, the Fun Factory Bootie is completely unassuming and enters the body with relative ease. Mr. Peaches find the shape and size of this toy to be ideal for stimulating his prostate and giving him enhanced orgasms. When I went on holiday without this product we both missed it so much that I seriously contemplated buying another one. That says it all really.
Sometimes simplicity is the best choice possible and this is the case with the Tantus Ultra Premium Silicone Cock Ring. Body-safe, smooth, and flexible this ring makes a great cock ring and an even better cock-and-ball ring. This ring increases the potency of my partner’s penis and allows for some very enjoyable sensations during penetrative sex. It’s a real winner.
The Barbarian is one of three Power Rings that Bathmate produce; however it was the Barbarian that let Mr. Peaches feel the most formidable. Acting as a fantastic cock-and-ball ring this product provides a firm, enhanced erection that ends in an eruption of pleasure upon climax. Although it’s made of a TPE/TPR combo this cock ring should last a long time with proper maintenance and, at £6.00, it’s a steal.
Originally apprehensive about penis pumps, and doubts Mr. Peaches and I had vanished with the use of this pump. The Bathmate Hydromax X30 Xtreme Penis Pump kit comes with everything you could hope to want for a successful pumping process. It didn’t take long for Mr. Peaches and I to see the benefits of pumping either—as it provided measurable results and enhanced sexual experiences. Mr. Peaches likens pumping to getting a hickey around his penis which might also be pleasurable for some. Overall we’re both thoroughly impressed with this pump and have both reaped the benefits of him using it.
The Tenga 3D series makes me incredibly jealous that I do not have a penis because boy do I want to stick my non-existent dick into one of these. Incredibly smooth yet wonderfully textured, the Tenga 3D line allows for an overwhelming experience which can enhance a hand job with effortless ease. The Tenga Pile is no exception and allows for over a hundred tiny triangles to stimulate the penis. These masturbators may seem expensive but they’re worth every penny. If in doubt just look at this guest review of the Tenga 3D Zen.
Best Couples’ Products of the Year
For a product that was advertised as the ultimate product for testosterone-driven male stereotypes the Lelo Pino actually proved to be one of the more thoughtful couples’ products that I’d tried all year. With a vibrating section that is well-designed for clitoral contact and a ring that prolongs things for the wearer the Lelo Pino seems sincerely interested in making sure that both users get the most from their play session. This paid off for us as the Lelo Pino provided me with elating sensations and I thoroughly enjoy using it with Mr. Peaches.
We-Vibe has been leading the way in couples’ products for years and the We-Vibe 4 is no exception. Slimmer, smoother, and generally more streamlined the We-Vibe 4 has two prongs—one to go in the vagina and one to stimulate the clitoris. Once inserted then the wearer’s partner can insert their penis and enjoy the benefits of the We-Vibe 4’s vibrating internal arm. Meanwhile the wearer gets G-spot and clitoral stimulation to help enhance the intercourse. While not completely hands-free for me, the We-Vibe 4 did allow for some interesting experiences and added a new dimension to our love-making sessions. Expect a We-Vibe 4 Plus review in the new year!
Ardor is entirely focuses on creating a sexual discussion between couples and it does this fantastically well. While the rules may take a while to learn (and some house rules may be needed) Ardor is a fun, insightful, and sexy game that allows for some truly wonderful scenarios. Mr. Peaches and I really enjoy playing a game on occasion and we’ve even learnt new things about each other. Hilarity also ensued from time-to-time and I have some great new memories that I’ll never forget.
The Shunga Intimate Kisses Aphrodisiac Oil is a massage oil with a difference. Once applied all you need to do is blow on it and that area will suddenly heat up in reaction to the breath. This heat lingers for a while but can also be renewed with further breaths. This oil is also edible and has a pleasant fruity tang. Acting as three products in one, this oil is a great way for couples to explore each other’s bodies and share some truly intimate moments with each other. Also it’s delicious. Just throwing that out there.
In a League of Its Own
Thanks to FMachineFun and their rental services I was able to try the legendary Sybian myself and all I can say is WOWSA! This machine is so intense, so powerful that it literally envelops you in its roaring vibrations until all you can do is get lost in the moment (or perhaps, more accurately, surrender yourself to it). Using the Sybian was a dream come true and I fantasize about owning my own. Every experience with the Sybian was a special treat, just as it should be. The Sybian is not a day-to-day product but, when you do use it, you know that each encounter with its awe-inspiring vibrations will be one to remember.
Worst Products of the Year
Those were my top products of the year but for every Yang there’s a Yin and I would be remiss if I didn’t mention some of the worst toys of the year. For better or worst here are the worst products of 2014.
When I first saw the Dolphin Diver I was distracted by the cuteness of the lil’ dolphin that adorned this rabbit vibe. Temporarily blinded by it I overlooked the possibility that I would dislike it and agreed to review it. I shouldn’t have been so foolish, as this toy basically represents everything I hate about some sex toys. When it arrived part of its porous shaft had been permnently reshaped by a dent in the packaging, which it had moulded around. The beads inside were fragile and useless, its swirling motion hurt, and the vibrations were buzzy and high pitched.
Looking back at the review now I can see that I was conflicted between disliking the toy and not wanting to upset the company who sent it to me (as they were always very kind and courteous people) but now I’m setting the record straight. This toy sucked, there’s no two ways about it. If you really must get a rabbit-like toy then please, at the very least, go for a silicone one. No one should have to use a toy like this (or like the Moon of Desire for that matter).
The Vivid Raw Fuck Buddy
A while ago I had a dream that I was taking photos of the Fuck Buddy. As I was looking through the lens I suddenly saw the ghost from Ju-On: The Grudge crawling out of the Fuck Buddy. I just looked at the Fuck Buddy, sighed, and said out loud “Oh my god, this toy is so bad that using it has actually summoned a vengeful spirit”. That pretty much sums up my feelings of the Fuck Buddy perfectly.
While not necessarily horrible to use the Fuck Buddy was horrible in a general sense. It reeked, in felt tacky, and it couldn’t be cleaned properly at all. This meant that the already porous material could just seep up whatever left over fluids or moisture remained in its post-washed out shaft and just fester in there until it became a horrible, slimy, putrid mess. I cringe just thinking about it.
I don’t care how nice a toy might feel, if you can’t clean it properly then it’s a safety hazard as well as nightmare fuel (literally, apparently).
Aaaaand that’s all for 2014. Thank you for taking the time to read my reviews and I hope you’ll stick with me in the new year. We’ve got a lot to look forward to (including a giveaway) and I can’t wait to see how much I improve over the coming year.
Until the next review!