Toy Review: The CalExotics Impress Scoop

“California Exotic Novelties Revolutionizes the Meaning of Control with the New Impress Line”.

That was the bold title which announced the Impress line on Erofame. Xbiz were more refrained in their announcement but still emphasised the ‘innovation’ of the Impress line. “CalExotics explained that the pressure sensitive control pad is the most innovative feature of Impress” they commented. CalExotics even released their own line of videos showcasing the Impress line so that users could get the most from their new toy.

Yet, through all of this hype one thing came to mind for me; “Hasn’t this been done before?”

Like, I’m pretty sure that I’ve owned (and thoroughly enjoyed) the Minna Limon back since September (and it was crowdfunded all the way back in July 2013). Meanwhile the Minna Ola seems to have been a big hit in 2012 using its ‘revolutionary squeezable control’.

Let’s just be honest here while the Impress Scoop may look interesting, innovative it most certainly is not.

So, if we all just accept that this toy is actually a new CalExotics toy using pre-established ideas by other companies, how well does this toy actually perform? In my opinion, not terribly, but it still has a lot of flaws that leave me on the fence about its deserving of people’s money. Not to mention there’s a lot about this toy that just leaves me downright befuddled.

The Impress Scoop

The Impress Scoop was actually one of the toys that I requested to review from CalExotics when I joined their Sexpert ranks. Why? Well, really, how could I resist? I’m such a fan of my lil’ Limon I simply had to see how CalExotics had handled squeeze pressure technology themselves. Besides I couldn’t help but be drawn in by the Scoop’s design. With a wavy shaft (which reminds me of the elegant female form) and a head like a triffid, I really needed to know if this toy was any good.

Bizarre sex toys are my kryptonite. I cannot resist them.
Bizarre sex toys are my kryptonite. I cannot resist them.

The Impress Scoop is a flexible vibrator which offers 12 different speeds and incremental vibration intensities via its pressure sensitive control pad.

This toy boast a few benefits—for example it’s waterproof for easy cleaning and submersible for underwater fun. Despite vying for luxury status the Impress Scoop isn’t rechargeable and, instead, runs off of 3xAAA batteries.  For some this could detract from the toy, as a lot of luxury vibes have made the move to rechargeable status nowadays.

Another luxury element that doesn’t go amiss with the Scoop is its material. The Impress Scoop is made from seamless body safe silicone which sports a satin finish. I have to admit this silicone feels very nice and doesn’t grab up dust easily so I’m quite impressed by it. It’s certainly strokeable and feels similar to the silicone on the PicoBong Transformer.

The silicone used for the Scoop is delightfully smooth.
The silicone used for the Scoop is delightfully smooth.

Like the PicoBong Transformer, the Impress Scoop looks rather silly in person. At 8.5 inches in length the Impress Scoop is quite a long toy. The head of the Scoop also looks bizarre in a very comical way. I said it reminded me of a triffid before, but images of shellfish also come to mind when viewing it. The maximum length across for the head is 2.25 inches, whereas the entire head section is 2.75 inches in length. The body of the Impress Scoop is strangely wavy and curves slightly (presumably to complement the natural contours of the body).

The head of the Scoop is very distinctive.
The head of the Scoop is very distinctive.

When I first saw the Impress Scoop I was pretty confident of its use. “Surely” I thought “That head is meant for clitoral stimulation”. It seemed to me that the bulb would stimulate the clitoris while its framing ‘scoop’ area would titillate the labia. Nope. Apparently CalExotics made the Scoop to be a G-spot vibe. I’m not kidding, check out this video below:

“Notice this bulb? Right here? It’s designed to stimulate your sweet spot (your G-spot)”. Those are the exact words used….what even? I don’t think I’ve ever been so baffled by the intent of a toy before. The Scoop has seriously thrown me.

It seems I’m not alone either, as Pink Cherry market this toy very differently from CalExotics:

“the clitoris-adoring Scoop’s gorgeously curvy, intensely massaging tip is truly a thing of pinpoint-precise beauty…Wide and sexily swollen at a circular tip, the Scoop fully surrounds the clitoris, nipples and otherwise, lavishing tons of thrillingly unique vibration on chosen external zones”.

Pink Cherry’s description may be slightly nonsensical in places, but it’s clear that they also thought this was a clitoral toy. An online store called MarriedDance also seem determined that this toy is for clitoral use—giving various suggestions of how to use this toy, all involving the ‘clit cuddler’ (which I presume is the toy’s head).

Maybe I’m overthinking this here but, in my opinion, it’s not a good sign when your toy’s primary purpose is not easily apparent to reviewers and retailers alike.

Anyway, back to the review.

Convinced that this toy was for clitoral use I first applied this toy to my clit. The Impress Scoop has three buttons and a pressure pad and controlling it is pretty straightforward. To turn to toy on and off you use the power button (which is located above the two other buttons). Once on you can use the pressure pad ‘freestyle’ mode and squish it in to control the power. Alternatively you can use the pattern button to use one of the pre-determined patterns.

The controls are easy enough to use and sensibly spaced apart.
The controls are easy enough to use and sensibly spaced apart.

If you use a pattern then you can still use the pressure pad freestlye to vary up the vibration strength. However, the intended use is to squeeze down the pressure pad until you’ve got to your desired level of power and then use the third, lock button to lock in the power level. From there you can continue to enjoy that level of power without using the pressure pad. If you change your mind all you need to do is press the lock button again to unlock the vibration intensity and then try again until you’re happy.

Sound at all familiar?

Unlike the Limon, though, the Impress Scoop’s pressure pad needs a fair bit of time to inflate after being pressed, so making your own patterns is pretty impractical—the pressure pad acts solely to help determine your preferred level of vibration intensity.

I have to admit, the vibrations from the Impress Scoop are pretty impressive (especially for a toy powered by 3xAAAs). Buzzy but surprisingly pronounced, the Impress Scoop’s vibrations can’t truly be called rumbly, but they’re close. The vibrations also have an impressive amount of depth, and can easily travel deeper into the vulva. Overall I would rank them as mid-to-strong level vibrations which could satisfy most people, though I wouldn’t call them appropriate for power queens or for people who dislike buzzy vibes.

For me using the Impress Scoop clitorally was one of those things that sounded good in theory but which turned out to be terrible in practice. The bulb of this toy is far too firm for my liking and it actually hurt me at times. In addition to this because the neck of this toy is incredibly flexible applying pressure to try and hug the toy closer to my clitoris only meant that the neck either kept the toy in the same position or bent it slightly away from where it was before.

What a disaster.

“Maybe this you really is for G-spot stimulation” I considered. That was not a good call.

Because this toy has such a slim and wide-brimmed head it can actually be a bit of a pain to insert. Despite this, I will give it to the Expert Sexpert (‘Expert Sex Expert’?) over at CalExotics that the bulb did hit my G-spot quite nicely once it was inserted. In fact had this toy been all bulb and no scoop then maybe I could have got somewhere with it. But the rim of this toy is so wide that it felt like it was trying to extend my vaginal walls in an uncomfortable manner.

Trying to thrust with this toy was impossible because every time I went to move it outwards the Scoop’s rim would feel like it was trying to clamp down inside of me (or maybe scoop something out with it). The sensation was not enjoyable.

This thing tried to scoop my insides out.
This thing tried to scoop my insides out.

So, to summarize, this toy has a bulb that’s too firm for clitoral enjoyment and a neck that’s too thin (but a shape that would work well for it) but has a rim that’s painful during insertion and removal and which is too wide for G-spot enjoyment (but a bulb that would work well for it)…what even!

I think someone who doesn’t mind firm toys might still get some clitoral enjoyment out of this toy, but the Impress Scoop confuses my brain and confuses my genitals even more.

There were a few other problems with the Scoop as well.

Like I said before, the Impress Scoop’s pressure pad is responsive but only to quick firm presses—if you press it too slowly then it simply deflates without causing any vibration changes and if you press it to gently then it won’t get as strong as you may like. Because of this I feel like the Impress Scoop would be inappropriate for anyone who wants a highly responsive toy, or who has mobility issues. This also means the Scoop cannot produce custom patterns, so if you wanted it for that then you may be disappointed.

The Scoop claims to be waterproof but I’ve sometimes had bubbles blow out of various gaps in the Scoop while using the pressure pad after a wash, so yeah.

As someone who has never liked patterns much my biggest pet peeve with the Scoop is that its continuous speed is the 10th selectable pattern. Yes, really; the 10th. What eve- oh you know what I’m going to say by now!

Final Thoughts

Overall the CalExotics Impress Scoop does deliver some decent vibrations and its pressure pad does allow for some customization, but the sheer befuddlement that this toy provides means that I’m really not sure as to who it could please.

Like I said before, people who don’t mind rigid clitoral toys may enjoy the Impress Scoop, but only if they also like everything else about the toy and are willing to overlook its array of kinks and downsides.

CalExotics have made a good first attempt at utilizing pressure sensitive controls here, but the Scoop is neither innovative nor wholly practical during use. And, with a price tag of £59.95, I can think of a few other toys that might be more suited for those willing to save up (or some other similarly priced toys from the same collection that seem much more practical).

Recommend to:

People wanting a discount pressure sensitive toy.

People who don’t mind firm toys.

People who like deep, buzzy vibrations.

Do Not Recommend to:

People who dislike firm toys.

People who dislike buzzy vibrations.

People who want to experiment with self-made patterns.