I haven’t made a Halloween review yet but I feel like this should count. Pulse is the name of a very rubbishy horror remake after all, and this toy kind of gives me a xenomorph vibe (what with its sleek black aesthetics and what not) so I’m going to say it counts.
Thankfully the Pulse did not turn out to be a horror story waiting to happen, but it was hardly a love story either…
The Pulse by Hot Octopuss
The Pulse is, by all accounts, a revolutionary male stimulator—a game changer for penis-owners everywhere. According to Hot Octopuss (the creators of the Pulse) medical research has determined that vibrations applied to the penis in a very specific way can lead to involuntary ejaculations. The Pulse aims to take this information and harness it to the benefit of men—creating a vibrating stimulator aimed specifically at penis-owners.
I say ‘vibrating’ but that would be incorrect. What the Pulse actually does is oscillate. Thanks to its PulsePlate technology the Pulse uses, to quote Hot Octopuss, “high-amplitude oscillations rather than low-amplitude vibrations” to get the job done. Oscillations, apparently, can cause very strong and intense orgasms in men, and this is what the Pulse utilizes, targeting the frenulum.
The Pulse can be used a variety of ways. If you want to enjoy the Pulse solo then you can lube it up and enjoy it as a vibrating masturbator or avoid lube and use it as a static stimulator. Both of these methods provide a different experience so the Pulse is a dual-use toy when going solo. Alternatively the Pulse can be used as a couple’s vibrator—with either the woman on top or the man on top during missionary. All of these are positions that Hot Octopuss advocates.
In addition to this the Pulse has also shown great results among older users, people with erectile dysfunction, and people with mobility issues of disabilities. It seems that this ‘Guybrator’ is the gift that won’t stop giving for some.
When it comes to appearance the Pulse was larger than I expected. Coming in at just under 5 inches in height and 8 inches in circumference (wing-to-wing) the Pulse can seem quite hefty upon first inspection.
The Pulse is covered with skin-safe silicone and ABS and has all of the body-safe benefits that these materials entail. Its wings and internal area are made of a silky matte silicone while the ‘female stimulation area’ is harder, firmer, and glossy. Both the inside and outside of the Pulse has ridges meant to add to the toy’s stimulation, which is a nice touch.
The wings of the Pulse are flexible enough that they could accommodate someone of larger girth but they’re not very eager to grip, so might feel frustratingly redundant for some (or for people with slimmer penises).
The Pulse’s PulsePlate looked very impressive to me. Decorated with a little crown, when turned on the PulsePlate oscillates with regal confidence, and left me almost certain my partner would be in for a very good time indeed with the Pulse. Sadly this wasn’t the case.
As soon as I presented the Pulse to Mr. Peaches he clearly had his reservations, while I was still giddy at the possibilities; between us we had eager optimism and cautious skepticism covered. However, due to Mr. Peaches’ apprehension we both decided it would be best if he tried the Pulse alone the first few times.
Upon enquiring as to how these solo-sessions went I was met with an unenthusiastic “meh” and a disheartened shrug of the shoulders. Had the Pulse failed us? Trying a different tactic I asked if we could try using it as a couple’s toy and Mr. Peaches eagerly accepted. He’s always been a fan of me on top and both of us like a bit of bump ‘n grind so it seemed like pleasure was a guarantee. Nope.
During couple’s use the Pulse felt like a rather bulky intrusion. I was often having to hold it into place to try and grind against it effectively and the harder section of the toy (ironically designed for female pleasure) felt uncomfortable and rigid. The instructions to the Pulse also advise against putting pressure on the PulsePlate so I was constantly worried about what my sizeable body grinding up against the toy would do.
The last, sad, downside to using the Pulse during male/female play is that the vibrations on the ‘female’ section are so gentle that they barely have any substance to them. As a power queen I knew I was never going to get off with what the Pulse was providing, and I feel like this would be the same with most vulva-owning power queens.
In regards to solo play I can’t vouch for the Pulse personally, but here’s what Mr. Peaches had to say:
“In my personal experience, the Pulse has one ok-ish features and the rest are kind just meh. I’ll start with the ok-ish one.
The vibrations from the Pulse were fairly enjoyable (pleasant, even) so that was pretty good. The oscillations could be quite nice, especially when I had a firm grip on the toy, and when applying a grip the vibrations felt deep. But there is a downside, even with this ok-ish point, and so we move in to the ‘meh’ section of this review.
Every time I used the Pulse I could tell I wasn’t going to get off with it. I tried it both ways—dry and lubed up.
Using it dry was a disaster.While the Pulse just sat there oscillating away I found I lost my erection (not a good sign) and no amount of porn, memories, or extra stimulation could bring it back. There was just no arousal. Without gripping the toy the Pulse just felt like it was rapidly tapping my penis with its PulsePlate, which was about as sexy as applying a floundering fish to my genitals.
Meanwhile using a great deal of lube and the typical stroking motion of a hand job just resulted in the area under my head got a bit sore. This happened, I can speculate, through a combination of friction and the ridged area around the Pulse’s PulsePlate and I really can’t see this toy working for me as a masturbator.
As a “hands free” solo toy I don’t like it. For a start it’s anything but hands-free; even fully erect the wings weren’t holding me in and nearly always required a hand to provide support.
The Pulse is also rather loud. Now I’m not talking sex machine loud by any stretch of the imagination but for me, at least, the noise level was off-putting.
What I did like about the Pulse was its use during couple’s play. It was great to have Emmeline use this toy while on top and I felt that the Pulse could work a lot better this way. Sadly Emmeline found this less appealing and either way, using the Pulse like this still felt like more of a warm-up toy than something that would bring me to orgasm.”
For me it was quite sad to see my partner’s reaction to the Pulse. Mr. Peaches was so unmoved by the Pulse that the mere mention of it sometimes had the ability to kill the mood during intimate moments. I later showed him some reviews of the Pulse and that just left him even more discouraged and frustrated by his experience. He resented the fact that the Pulse didn’t work for him and craved the experience that others were getting but that he could not.
It’s not a pleasant feeling to feel like the whole world is enjoying something that you can’t and I remember feeling the same way about the Eroscillator. However at the end of the day personal preference will always be a factor and no toy will work for everyone. In this case the Pulse just wasn’t right for my partner, but (having heard all of the positives of the Pulse) he does want to keep on trying this toy so an update will come if success is achieved. With so many positive reviews I also believe that there is potential in the Pulse, despite our subjective experience being an overall negative one.
But now let’s look at the more objective downsides of the Pulse.
As I mentioned the Pulse can feel hard, awkward, and unwieldy during couple’s play and for both couple’s and solo play the Pulse may not always be ‘hands-free’. And, as my partner mentioned, the Pulse is quite loud—so if you find loud noises distracting during a play-session or value discretion then you might want to avoid the Pulse.
However the biggest objective issue with the Pulse by far is that it’s not waterproof, or even splash-proof. This makes cleaning the Pulse incredibly difficult, especially seeing as it’s a lint-hungry monster.
What the Pulse lacks in waterproofness it makes up for by being rechargeable. But, really, in this day and age it’s a shame to see a luxury toy that doesn’t have both of these features.
Sadly the Pulse turned out to be a disappointment for my partner and I but this isn’t necessarily the norm. Overall the Pulse represents great strides in male stimulators and this has been recognised by the adult toy industry, as well as many positive reviews.
For Mr. Peaches the oscillations provided by the Pulse were simply too different from his normal masturbation style for him to derive pleasure from them and, when he did try his faithful methods, he was left sore.For me the Pulse was simply too weak, firm, and cumbersome to be practical. Because of this we cannot personally recommend the Pulse. However it could be that, upon reading about the Pulse yourself, you find that the Pulse is the product for you.
People who like oscillations.
People who like to try new masturbation styles.
People unable to appreciate conventional masturbation styles.
Do Not Recommend to:
People who dislike oscillations.
People who like familiar masturbation methods.
Vulva-owners who consider themselves power queens.
The Pulse was kindly provided to me by Belle de Soir in exchange for an honest review. Belle de Soir is a fantastic company that provides excellent customer service and a great selection of toys. If you want to know more then why not check out my Lelo Smartwand (Large) Review.