Guest Review: The Tenga 3D Zen Male Masturbator

Hello my lovely readers!

Today we’re trying something a little bit different.

Now, it’s no secret that I really love the Tenga 3D series. Ever since I first saw the sleek and appealing designs sported by this line of male masturbators I was smitten and knew I wanted to get one for my partner and I to try. And try one we did.

The Tenga Pile was the masturbator of my choice and it’s pretty freaking awesome.

However there are so many other delectable designs in the line that I often wonder about how good they feel as well.

Thankfully I like the Tenga 3D line so much that I ended up gushing about it to a close friend (going by the name Lemon Fresh) who subsequently took the plunge and purchased one—his very first sex toy. And, even better, my friend decided to get the Tenga Zen—a toy I haven’t had any personal experience with.

While Lemon Fresh is a relative newcomer to the world of sex toys, he does share my passion for reviews—pouring his efforts into video game reviews and the like. As such I couldn’t resist inviting him to do a guest review.

So, without further ado, allow me to hand over to Lemon Fresh for his review of the Tenga 3D Zen Male Masturbator.

The Lemon Fresh Perspective

I was invited to do a guest review by my good friend Emmeline Peaches. This was actually a product I acquired on her suggestion during a Lovehoney sale and I was pretty excited when it arrived.

My experience with the Tenga Zen signals both my first sex toy and my first sex toy review. I initially tried to approach this in the style of a video game review, but I’ve come to realize that sex toys don’t really have soundtracks or storylines so I had to rethink my approach.  Now then, on with the review.

The Tenga Zen 3D Male Masturbator

If you’ve ever fancied having sex with a zen garden but were too afraid of earning the ire of a group of angry, disapproving monks then this is the toy for you.

Behold. The Tenga Zen in all its glory.
Behold. The Tenga Zen in all its glory.

The product itself differs slightly from its zen garden counterpart in that it is not covered in gravel and for that I am grateful. It’s actually made of a high-quality, soft anti-bacterial eslatomer. It also comes with a clear plastic case—which’ll either make a nice display case or protect it from the dust as you hide it under your bed from your overly judgemental parents.

While it’s a fairly compact sex toy—with the opening having a 0.5 inch diameter, which leads to a 4.5 inch canal—it does stretch quite well to accommodate a lot of sizes. It’s also reversible so it’s basically like two sex toys for one. I personally prefer the Zen’s textured side as it gives my dick a sense of oneness with the universe.

It’s also pretty cool looking. You could sit this thing on your desk and a naive onlooker would probably think it was just an ornament of some kind.

Being new to all this, I was advised by Emmeline Peaches to use lube with the Zen. Initially I ignored that advice, I remember thinking “Lube? Bah I’ve never needed to use lube before I bet I won’t need it now”. That was a mistake. I don’t care if the Lovehoney page says it’s okay without lube. It’s not. Use lube.

Anyway, after my initial horror I broke out the lube that came free with this toy. Alas, I was a bit ham-handed with the application and getting the damn thing on became a trial akin to trying to wrestle a pissed off, greased up ferret into a blow job, only less terrifying.

After finally subduing the rebellious sex toy I was caught off-guard by just how intense it felt. I was initially quite sceptical about how much better it would feel than my usual approach. But…yeah, keep reading and you’ll see.

When using the Zen correctly my thought process basically went “Hey this is pretty ni-HOOOOOLEEEE SHITTTT”. So, yeah, it was pretty freaking awesome.  It’s kind of hard to properly describe how it feels in detail but the best I can say is that it gives you a sucking sensation with the ridges rubbing in just the right areas. Double the pleasure for double success.

Check these ridges.
Check these ridges.

Another thing I feel is important to mention is that this thing is quiet. I have another similar masturbator that whistles when in use. No such problems with this one. Aside from a soft squishing noise it’s almost completely silent. Very useful if you’re in need of a sneaky stealth wank.

I was a bit unsure about how to do the whole cleaning thing with the Zen so I ended up just blitzing it with warm water and soap and then leaving it to soak for a while, giving it one more blitz with more warm water before putting it back in the case. I also do this before using it and so far my dick hasn’t fallen off so I assume I’m doing it right.  Though make sure the soap you use is a mild one.

As you can probably tell, so far I approve of this toy. It’s not all strawberries and cream however, and there are a few minor complaints I have with it.

First of all it’s got a bit of a smell to it. It’s not a horrible smell, and is most likely a side effect of the antibacterial aspect, but it might be off putting to some.

Next up it’s up for sale at £32.99. Now that’s not a bad price for what you get, but I’ve heard mixed things about its longevity. Some people have said it’s lasted them over 2 years and others have worn through it in less than a year. I’ve only owned it for a few months so I can’t properly comment on this but I suspect that it comes down to how well you treat it and how often you’re using it. Just something for you to keep in mind.

The downside.
The downside.

By far my biggest issue with this product is to do with the diameter. I’ve already mentioned this but putting this thing on is always a struggle for me. It may be because girthwise I’m a bit above average or I may just be kind of a clutzy buffoon. Both are strong candidates.

Final Thoughts

Ultimately I’d recommend the Tenga 3D Zen Male Masturbator to anyone looking for a simple sleeve-based masturbator, its well-made and pleasurable to use. The material it’s made out of is soft and comfortable but not so soft that you won’t feel anything and the chances of being caught in the act by disapproving monks are relatively slim.


If you want to support Emmeline Peaches Reviews and you’d like to buy your own Tenga 3D Zen Male Masturbator then please consider doing it through Lovehoney by clicking on this affiliate link here. A special thanks to Lemon Fresh for providing me with this review. He’s still a bit new to reviewing sex toys instead of games but, as he likes to put it, “it turns out sex toys have graphics and gameplay too so that’s enough to carry me through”.